Discuss salary to husband

Umaa · Nov 20, 2007

Dear All,

I am married for 10 months. Till now I have told all my salary details and my loan details that I have. I have been giving money to my father and mother also which I told my husband also every month. But the problem is my husband always told to my FIL and MIL and they are illtreatin my father and mother.

When I asked about my husband's salary, he said 'You can ask my salary when I am not able to take care of family. When I am taking care of the family there is no need for you to know about my salary". After listening to this, I feel that I should not discuss my salary with him. Why he is keep on telling to his father and mother :-( ?

How can I make my husband feel that there should not be any wall that is hindering between husband and wife?

Please advice me.

Thanks,
Uma

imemyself · Nov 20, 2007

Hi Uma,
There is nothing wrong in discussing the salary with ur hubby!But the reply he gave to ur question abt his salary shows his male chauvanism.But from ur side u have openly discussed and thus u spared a fight that cld have arised when u hubby say's that ur not giving him details on ur salary!!

But the point is that ur parents have taken pains to help u grow into an independent person!It is because of their sweat that you have earned a job!!And it is ur duty to give them money!! And your hubby or ur inlaws have no right to question that!
But don't argue with them cause they are never going to understand ur point!!! shakehead
But try to handle that efficiently .....like giving money to ur mother-in-law (just to make her feel important).Take care of some expenses at home!! Even if their attitude is making u sick...just try to show that u care for them like how u care for ur parents!!(i know they can never equal ur parents..but do this to avoid future sparks of fight).

Hope for the best!!

Love,
Jaya

sashie · Nov 23, 2007

hi Umaa, why doen;t your husb want to tell you his earnings?? Is it because he doens;t trust you? Money is a big issue in marriage and i have read it is one to things that alot of married couples fight about. You have already told him about your earnings, so you have done your part.