Disciplining The Toddlers

sanjuruby3 · Dec 20, 2016

I wonder what methods do you guys to do discipline you toddlers. I know sometimes at this age, they need to know they have control but somethings are big 'no' and they need to understand it is completely wrong. I experienced my LO would not stop screaming on 'no' and If I not give in, she will cry for hours and will not stop after 5mins.
I read books on 1-2-3 principle and after 5 mins kid will stop screaming. I do not think it will work on my kid.

We go to library or shops and she won't come out. Nothing works on her and its always a struggle.

Now a days, because of her older kids company and some other reasons, her screen exposure has increased a lot. Moreover she will not eat in 1 place. Then in libraries she shouts / screams, I pick a book, she literally pulls from me. In front of others, she is a mouse.
Today I realized she really needs to be disciplined.
I am the one who is always with her, taking care of her and making sure to take her out. But she finds soft corner with dad who finds easy way with screen.
Today morning she had 1 hr of TV (literally) and again outside in library she played on tabs there. At home she again wanted TV. So this time I thought its too much so we have war here. She cried for 1 hr and wanted her dad. Without food, she went for nap.
I feel really depressed that I have lost my everything for her care. I am not in great health and shape. I ignore myself and my appointments or my health so I can take care of herself. Out in cold, I take her out everyday just for herself and this is what I get.

viki123 · Dec 20, 2016

@sanjuruby3
I am having the same question on how SHAM discipline their kids at home. I am taking a break for my DS for 2 months from Mid -Nov to Mid- Jan & he is at home with me (working from home), my sis and my dad. He is finds way out for every thing, within in 3 weeks am seeing a lot of change in his behavior. He was much disciplined when he went to daycare, he used to like to read books, do some coloring scribbling and used to listen to us.
Now he is taking every thing for granted and doesn't listen to me any more. If i say no or raise by voice, we will go to my dad or sis for cover.
Can't wait to send him back to daycare.

Meet9 · Dec 20, 2016

Our situation is similar, how old is your kid? mine is 2.5 yrs old, the worst thing we did is introduce him to ipad.... I am SAHM and I dont send my toddler to preschool yet...we will plan after he is 3 yrs old next coming summer...moreover, in fall, they get a lot of infections flu etc so we want to avoid school until then....i am expecting another baby so wanted to avoid all sorts of daycare germs..our problem is my kid wants to go to toystore EVERYDAY...its v cold these days, and he wants to go out...he screams..i let him..then distract him by something..we have so many indoor play toys for him just so go by this winter smoothly but exactly opposite is happening....he doesnt want to play all my himself..he wants me he needs interaction..its v hard to cook when he is pulling me in all the directions...he purposely breaks things, locks himself in toilet (not lock but closes the dorr but he cant open) to get my attention, of late we started giving him timeouts..but what he thinks of them is another game or play..he smiles and laughs when I open the door from timeout.. hope its just a phase and they get better when they go to school....

sanjuruby3 · Dec 20, 2016

@meet @viki123

Looks like our complains are similar. Mine is same age 2.5 yrs old and I stay at home for the time being( not working) and completely uncontrollable ever since nanny gone. I am also waiting for spring and taking her to india for now. I cry so many times.
I take her to stores, malls in winter but then its so difficult to get her out. Moreover, its difficult for me, its not 30 mins drive. First getting her ready is so difficult.
I repent the day i introduced TAB/phone/cartoons to her. Now she will do all kind of dramas to get her way..lying rolling on floor, jumping, hitting. It sounds cute on ears but so difficult for parents. She now knows where to find tab/phone, how to switch on and find games etc. Her desire to games increase with some kids who were on phone all the time. Last night she cried 1 hr for tV when she already had so much screen time..

KashmirFlower · Dec 20, 2016

tell her you lost all TV remotes, and all remotes which operate dish tv, netflix etc. Just hide in a box and keep somewhere where she can't reach. Ask her to search, you help her in searching by lifting sofa/chairs etc, tell her to see beneath tables etc, do this for 2 days. and whenever she ask just say you lost it and ask her where she kept it. She believes we lost it. so may stop asking for that.

Whenever she asks tell her to search, instead of telling "no TV" , tell her something like signal gone, may be power is not there in the TV station something like that interesting her to listen.

Let her cry, crying is not bad, ask are you done? if you are done we can read a book or eat some choclate together. etc

I completely took off ipad from my son, I also don't see it, as he may see it. I hided it. My H ipad he will not ask, we said it is office. I said teacher I have some tracing apps for alphabets, she said no, there is no need of ipad to learn alphabets. So I believe no ipad till it is necessary for school.

May be try this trick first with iphone and ipad/tablets. Say somebody borrowed it or you lost it. It is more problem than tv. A disorder because of the tabs, talked, see "at 3:00 min".

Also, when she says no, instead of telling her again to do, tickle her, what do u want to do, and tickle, both laugh, take her to lap, kiss cheeks and tell her if we go there to a special place, there is special omlete, they put mushroom on it, just tell some stories, and make her excited to get ready. as now time is there and both are at home, it is ok if she takes two hours to come to take bath. try and make her to come on her own to get ready.

You don't tell "no", but tell lot of stories and lies if needed to make her do things you want to. I read several places that even with teenage kids, touch is very important for feel connected, always hug them, put them in lap (as per age if they don't like touch some other way, everybody like to be hugged and kissed). while watching tv or reading book or when lying on bed, just tell her to hold hand, it gives connected feeling. My son if I say something from far, he reacts differently, if I come close put my cheeks to his cheeks or kiss and tell he reacts differently. with our timings and so much stress you really can't feel like doing that way, but it works better and we both child and parent can escape from getting into anger/ frustration state. Keep yourself calm helps.

Trust me, this book worked for me:

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

one more link, from the same author:
Learn how to manage your defiant, determined, exuberant toddler -- and stay positive!

sanjuruby3 · Dec 21, 2016

@KashmirFlower
I really liked your post in a way to give her more control. She does not want to hear 'no' from me for anything. IF her 'dad' says no, she swallows that.

She does not forget distracting stories or acts like I say let me show u something, she will see, not cry for a sec and then again start. I know I have to keep working on it. Fighting on her getting bad habits and her on going towards bad. Having less company outside and our home atmosphere also acts. She knows he dad is the weak part so she goes to him. And he to avoid fighting her or he has work turns on tv immediaetly.

viki123 · Dec 21, 2016

@sanjuruby3 @meet

anika987 · Dec 21, 2016

How old is your kid?three to four is a tough phase but brave it out..

123 principal will start working once your kid become little bit more mature and is able to understand more like around 4 years.it works

Secondly,many people tell me I don't yell or am very strict with my kid.i turned a deaf year and started to be communicative to my child and assertive NOT aggressive with my LO.now, am kid is understanding when I explain and is so adjusting.it takes time and patience but start communicating and talking early

Third,explain to the child.the child will scream and yell but you remain calm and patience and explain.one fine day trust me your child will understand what patience means and it is a good quality which will get imbibed.

If nothing works,let the child scream and cry.no worries.tell him you can go alone cry and come back.do not give in even if he cried for one hour.you should not show frustration,remain calm and show you are the boss.

If he comes home he has to remove shoes and put it in the closet only then he can get his snack.start discipline in small ways.be strong,be patient.

Motherhood I always feel is the epitome of inner strength.if we can do it,so can you

Meet9 · Dec 21, 2016

[QUOTE="anika987, post: 3922974, member: 353311...th.if we can do it,so can you[/QUOTE]

really liked your post, I am also of the same opinion, I never srcream or yell in front of him but try to explain things...he cries while also listening to what I say....sometimes it works...most times it doesnt but he is just 2.5 yrs old

anika987 · Dec 21, 2016

Don't worry meet.Keep doing what you do and by 4 your kid will understand the power of communication.I believe those kids grow up to handle situations more mature and tactfully.Keep up the good work dear