Disappointment with second DD gender scan

When my close friend was planning to get pregnant the second time, she did lot of prathnas, fasting, and visited temples for a daughter (her first child is a boy). She found out during her 7th month that it is a boy. She cried every day for 3 months. She wanted to abort the baby. I used to talk at least an hour everyday with her just to console her. Lot of our friends, her family everyone tried to console her and she hated the baby. Now her second son is 1 year old. Now she feels so bad that she didn't love that child in the last 3 months of her pregnancy and whenever there is a small healthy problem with the baby she feels very guilty. She loves her son so much now and says how she did'nt love this precious baby.

All is well. Your both the daughters are going to be your family's pillars. You're lucky to have 2 daughters. :thumbsup

 

i appreciate your upfront disclaimer. No offence, after we are all here to just give our opinion, not anything personal offence beyond that.

Have you imagine a situation where in a childless couple feel and ask God the same question "WHY ME"? it is some where said to be ok. So be practical dear, you now know what you are going to get. So prepare your mind accordingly, do not stress youself.

There are two worries, one is you can get rid off that with the effort you put and the other you cannot be change the thing which was happened, now you are in the second category or i would rather say it is UNNECESSARY worry.

You are blessed, as i do not have any one. Still i am contented with what i am, even i had this thought when i see some movie like pasamalar, but we cannot do anything if it in the hands of super power, HE knows what is good for you. May be who knows this little girl will going to carry in a golden plate and will be your best friend forever!

Now just work it on a reverse said, thats it dear so simple. Pls do not complicate yourself so much.

Now its time to take care of both your mind and health properly. So all the best!!

PS : this topic was already discussed with heated argument, so just go through it once.
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/pregnancy/211759-expected-to-deliver-baby-boy-4.html

 

Yes I know How it feels!
But nothing in our hands.Just love the tiny tot.Thats all a mother can do.
Stay healthy and wishing you a safe pregnancy.

 

You will be able to bond with the baby. Dont worry. I am unable to say more...

 

Personal opinions vary but a small thought abt childless and TTC couples who crave for just a kid will probably make you feel better. Scientifically its the sperm that determines the sex and we are in no way responsible and that in turn is determined by the almighty. Man proposes God disposes. God does everything for a reason. May be you'll find this period a bit difficult as your expectations were different but you never know, what might come off tomorrow. So cheer up my dear friend. One day this child is sure to make you proud.

 

ulagatha ninachen...sirichen... why can't we all be happy and content with whatever we have. But kadavul angethan vaikkiran oru twistai... enna ulagamada saamy. BTW I wish you to have a happy and healthy pregnancy.

 

I came across this below article and thought it will help you come out of grief and put things in perspective: This is about child with disability but I am sharing it here because replace disability with gender and you will see where I am coming from.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

 

OMG how can a mom talk like this . Even after reading the disclaimer i feel bad .
There are so many people struggling to have single healthy child and you are talking about gender . I can understand if inlaws , parents talk since they are in different generation

Grow up girl. eat healthy and take care of yourself .

 

don't know if this will help, but I was walking out the door today to go to work and my 2 yr old said 'I love you mommy'.. made my day