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Digital Emotions

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Shanvy, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Today as I was coming back from my bank heard on Suryan Fm that today is Internet day…what better day than to write about this…..We are a global village today..But do we have the closeness and comfort that is to be there in the true sense.

    We have come across, Valentines Day, Friendship Day, Mothers Day all other days. Around the corner we have Diwali coming in. We will be wishing Happy Diwali everybody. Even those, whom we hardly keep in touch and those whom we don’t even consider as friend, to acquaintances, consultants…It has become more as a fashionable activity than emotions. Our lives have been confined to the laptops or computers or mobiles. We are so engrossed in this materialistic world that we remember our friends and relatives only on those occasions. The other time when we remember is when we receive forwarded messages from them.

    Our lives are running in such a fast track, we don’t have time to make a call and talk to them. We just send a SMS or a mail and keep forgetting them. I wonder really, whether we really mean what we say or send as SMS. Where are the feelings and emotions gone?

    In today’s virtual world it is very easy to make friends. We have so many sites and forums which bring in so many people together, where they can share their feelings, vent out their anger etc.

    Mobiles have a major disadvantage. When we are in a serious meeting, either we will be receiving an SMS or a missed call / call from a friend who has just called you for no reason. It will be so irritating when somebody gives a missed call, as though we have free access to mobile and they want to save their money.

    But in virtual world life has become very easy. We can drop a friend just like that. All we have to do is reject his/her call or go invisible or log out or just shut down the computer. There are no emotions. It is just close and shut. We can pick or drop a friend like the drop of the hat. Since we have the anonymity and don’t know the people, when we are happy, we can praise, when we are unhappy, we can just shout at them. There are no etiquettes or feelings. We can take the liberty of calling them, analyzing a person, whatever we want without even knowing anything about them. Because, we are not going to see or know/feel the other persons feelings, we can just take the liberties of voicing what we think and feel is right. If we are no more interested with the friendship all we have to do is delete all his/her mails and don’t reply. May be because it gives a high or a boost to the ego.

    No emotional burden. No pains and at the same time, we can just give anything. No arguments. The fear of losing a friend or loved ones are gone. You lose one in one site; you will get two in another site. It is so easy to make new/true (?) friends.

    I leant all these things after going through various Blog sites and forums. But I thought IL is exception to most of these things, as we meet various ILites and interact personally. I always felt a special bondage with the people and at times enthusiastically post my FB’s be it a serious one or one-liners... The one liner are as an encouragement to the person who writes something taking all the pains and time let it be a forward, but again the thought to share in il is the reason behind that post.

    I become so engrossed in IL sometimes I forget that we are in a public forum and not an extended family (I have come to relate IL with). It is not that the other people also have to feel the someway. I always feel that we should not hurt others feelings. If at any point my Fb’s I feel my reply could be taken as an hurt, I say it is my opinion and not hurting others. And if I have done it by mistake, apologize; irrespective of I am right, wrong as otherwise. For hurting people, they don’t need me or the Forum. To gain a true friend it takes lot of time. To loose one it is only seconds. These are my concept and follow that to a very large extent.

    I had another thread where I was discussing about AD-whacked. There were mixed responses. In one of the posts in that thread, I felt a subconscious nag, that I am hurting somebody. So went back and edited. The post and also said I am sorry. But I have seen people going out of their way and saying I pity you, you are not fit to be a daughter, a wife, a husband, without even knowing the actual scenarios. People ask for opinions and share their feeling here because they feel at home…even if we cannot give sound advice or suggestions it is at times better to just be there for them than going around and hurting them…Again I also accept the counter argument to this that when you write in a public forum, you should be ready for all types of responses not only praises,you should be open to critics that is the success of a blogger/writer.

    May be I am deviating, but again, the reader/writer should understand the response for a thread, a feedback or comment is also written by a fellow human being who can be prone to hurt.

    Will IL be an exceptions to this...........


    What do you people say…….


    (I would like to tell, these are my observations, from the vast number of threads that I visit, reply and some time don’t reply…and have no intention of hurting anybody )
     
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  2. vidyasundar

    vidyasundar Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Shanthi,

    :clapgood thoughts. kelviyum nengale badhilum nengale............. as u said if someone is posting an article he/she should be ready for any sort of critics it can be either way positive or negative and criticism only can make one's work perfect. there is no point of hurting or getting hurted. you are in right path and continue with what you are doing(I dont know whether im eligible to say it but still wanted to.....) i mean in the forum.

    one more thing i wish to add........ if we are gonna vegetable shop we find many kinds and we dont buy anything and everything........... we choose acordg to our taste........ same way public forums and blogs....... which I like and which is for me I take it rest I just ignore its not 4 me. its as simple as that.

    I reply miss calls with miss calls. reg friendship only incoming no outgoing. what am i doing self analysis with your post got emotionally attached to ur words. let me detach here and look forward for others response.

    its again my opinion......... adhe adhe

    regards
    vidyasundar
     
  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi vidya,

    It was not a keliviyum nane badhilum nane sort of post from me...but yes i have answered what will be the answers for some of the questions posted... but like you said...you answer some posts that you like or feel for from your heart.but that does not mean you are giving the power into the other persons hand to hurt...right.... there are two ways of looking at that persons comment..either he/she is personally frustated or feels she/he is very right and cannot be wrong at any cost.....

    again induvum my own views.....
     
  4. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Shanvy,
    What you ay is so true. People nowadays have such a care a damn attitude and withut guilt. We should be careful in what we say or write . Why should we hurt people without actually knowing situations and circumstances. By the way you write so well, why dont you write short stories or prose... am sure will be as good as your poem.....:kiss
     
  5. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Shanvy,

    Oh, you are also a regular listner to Suriyan FM!:-D. I hear it in the mornings and in the evenings. I like the bubbly voices of the female compares.' kelunga kelunga kettukitte irunga'. :-D

    They bring nice topic and ask people's opinion every day. Like the other day they asked people about ' Dhoni's changed hair style' and yesterday they asked to name the hurricane that is brewing near Chennai. People gave very interesting titles like ' Hurricane Namitha', 'Azhakiya Tamil Puyal' etc.

    Yes, the Internet has become an inseparable part of our lives and without internet I shudder to think how I would have survived a lonely life in foreign lands. Especially after coming to U.S with internet speed being high and the connection is unlimited and with many websites offering live Tamil, Hindi movies, FM radios, forums like IL, well I don't find time to do my urgent personal things!.:-D

    Regards,

    TDU
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2007
  6. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    It is true, Shanthi, that friendship 'malivaa poachu'. I don't know what do they mean friends, sometimes. Do you remember that a list of films came depicting 'friendship' as the main theme. One has to be reminded the importance of friendship, now and then.
    in this era of global communications--they even misuse that friendship.
    In IL, like what you had said, even one-line response from a person is appreciated.
    i just remember the joy I had, when I got a response from an IL for the first post of mine.
    I keep myself in their place when talking or doing something and think twice or thrice before doing anything, so that i am sure that the other person does not get hurt by my words or actions.
    Very nice article, Shanthi, once again!

    sriniketan
     
  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi priyu,

    Thanks for your compliments.

    we forget that a word that passes through our mouth/pen/.. could very easily lacerate the other person....So it is always better that we think twice.....
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi TDU,

    Thanks for peeping it.. good that you have lot of entertainment....
     
  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi sriniketan,

    Nice that you are with me...about what i have discussed here.....
     
  10. achu

    achu Bronze IL'ite

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    dear shanti....
    i agree with u that in this fast life of ours, emotions n relations have less value...n we r happy [!!!??!!}] with the ' hi' n ' bye' relations....n sure IL is creating a strong bond between people whom we havent seen...:exactly:


    .[ But I have seen people going out of their way and saying I pity you, you are not fit to be a daughter, a wife, a husband, without even knowing the actual scenarios. People ask for opinions and share their feeling here because they feel at home…even if we cannot give sound advice or suggestions it is at times better to just be there for them than going around and hurting them…Again I also accept the counter argument to this that when you write in a public forum, you should be ready for all types of responses not only praises,you should be open to critics that is the success of a blogger/writer.]


    regarding the quote....i was discussing the same matter with my hubby yestde.....am surprised 2 see a thread on the same matter....though i read most of the threads.....i take care..to participate...in the " cool" matters.....surely no serious advices fm my part ....esp., which deals with delicate matters like relationships....
    when i read such topics...i try 2 put myself in their shoes , i try 2 find a solution myself..or..at times i discuss few topics with my hubby....i ask his views regarding this...etc! but i dare not 2 comment on these in public forums ....as things which i may feel rite may not b the same for others......after all wat r we gonna gain by hurting their feelings....

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