Blessed are those who are always been showered with love care and affection…….. I truly felt blessed but some how the charm has faded away.i find my self no more important in any ones life.It hurts all the more when your better half whom you consider to be your life line starts sidelining you.It seems he is over with me now. He is a very sensible human being and a loving person but now I don’t matter to him at all. It really hurts that we may be sitting in the same room for hours all together but none of us have any thing to share.over the time I believe we just talk to discuss groceries and important event in my in-laws life or if any issue in context of our daughter needs to be addressed. I cant even clearly remember since when is this going on but to me it seems this is an endless saga I don’t know going on since when and seems like it will last till eternity. I have tried discussing the matter with him but couldnot find a way out ,he just excuses himself .The other day I asked him do you ever think why we have got nothing to talk about,he plainly said mood par depend karta hai kya baat hai krne ko. Another day as I came back from work I was very upset and he was at his work place ,I textd him that I am very upset as my boss is unnecessarily humiliating me.was eagrly awaiting his arrival at home so I can pour my heart out.he came home and after tea dressed up and went for his walk.i told him at night that I kept waitng that you will atleast ask me what went wrong and you didn’t even bother.he said it slipped from my mind .i don’t get it if someone in your family is upset you just forget to even ask????? I cant bear another child because of some complications during birth of my daughter,so had been trying to talk if we can have a baby through surrogacy and he insisted that we must adopt a baby instead of surrogacy and 4 -5 days back when I found a list of such agencies and sent him he has till now not even bothered to talk back even as a courtesy. I am going mad.my in-laws have recently shifted with us some 4-5 months back since then our communication is almost zero as he talks less in front of them.they don’t talk to me but just pretend and that’s the icing on the cake.my heart keeps crying but who cares.the situation is such that I don’t want to talk to anyone .i just want to run away.but that’s not the solution.this is so suffocating.
