1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

DH nervous to talk to his Parents about the move.....

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by saraswathi21st, Jan 11, 2010.

  1. saraswathi21st

    saraswathi21st New IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all:

    Dh and I finally thought it is time we move back this year to India for good. Though we are not that well off and know that there gonna be many hurdles but still both of us prefer there than here. We want our kids to grow up there and be educated in India. Ok since dh does not have a job back there so I will go first with kids for schools and he will follow later. I know it may take a long time and that temporary separation has its downside but after doing all the calculations we have no way but to live like that for some months atleast. We are talking to kids also about that.

    In this matter I have full support from my family and siblings who are all the more happy that I will finally be there. They have promised me that they will help me whatever they can since I will be living alone with kids in the same city as my parents.
    But when it comes to inlaws dh has not informed them since he knows they will not like the idea at all. They never in their wildest dreams imagined this move. They do not want us to move. According to inlaws, anything in India is inferior to US. They want us to settle here but dh and me do not like that.
    Now, the whole problem is dh feels kind of nervous to talk to his parents and inform them about the move. He also thinks that I will get to hear a lot of crap from them when I am alone there though we plan not to live with them under one roof. I will live separately but in the same city. Though our decision is firm but when it comes to telling it to his parents he feels hesitant. We cannot just land without informing them.....right?

    Please tell what you think about this whole thing and advise.

    Thanks
    S
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2010
    Loading...

  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,937
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    saraswathi,

    I also have similar in-laws family. For us it's very hard to inform about anything. Even if we buy the car we can't tell them. Suppose if we tallow you guys have money, why don't you give us and all kind of bla bla and my husband really hesitant to tell these.

    I see as two scenarios here.

    Don't try to tell now, before you leaving just inform them and ignore completely later drams. Since you are going to live in the same city and your lives won't be easy for not informing them early and they eat your minds for rest of your life.

    Just tell them now itself and take the drams slowly. Whatever they talk you and your husband should ignore completely and that shouldn't affect your lives. If your husband hesitant, you just tell them.

    I think, I remember you earlier posts saying they would compare with your BIL. Again if they bring that topic, does your FIL or MIL have any brothers and sisters? If so, do they have similar standard of living? I doubt. So tell them no two people would have same living or personalities.
    Anyhow I feel better to tell now only; in that case you don't get blamed for not informing them. If they get to know through some other sources then it's too dangerous.
     
  3. saraswathi21st

    saraswathi21st New IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks Priya for being the first one to respond so quickly.
    Yes, you are right. They always compare us with dh's siblings. And I like what you said. FIL and MIL have siblings who are better off than them. MIL's sister is very well off though her husband is not as educated as FIL and MIL always cribs that even without much education they manage to accumulate so much wealth. They were into business so could make money quciker and more than FIL.
    This never struck me till you mentioned. Thanks. Next time I will make it clear that they better stop comparing. Dh tries to hush me up each time thinking this may lead to a fight.
     

Share This Page