DH mother thinks she does everything right.

cheesecake · Jun 16, 2015

My DH mother came to help me out with newborn.i try to do as much work i can but she never praise me.i try to do gym these days but she tell me that i am very weak and sleeping all the time and she has good stamina though she is eider to me.i listen because it shows concern but it also show that she thinks her family is on top and i am not good at anything.how to keep a quiet mind.it irritates me to listen some fault about me everyday and praise of her daughter about many things.

Jas8085 · Jun 16, 2015

Dont do ANYTHING to win her praise. Use this competition to your advantage.

say " oh mummyji you have so much stamina - thanks for coming to help me"

Stop doing things. Say you are weak and hence need rest.

previ · Jun 16, 2015

I had a lot of problems when my son was born too. MIL thought she knows best and would even try to override paed's advice on taking care of newborn. Whatever seemed logical and harmless I listened to her but any conflicting advice, I always listened to the doc. Yes she was upset, yes she gave me the silent treatment. But over the years, she realized I was acting in the best interest of my son. We now have a decent relationship and she is quite helpful. And yes she always taunted me by saying that by my age, she already had 2 toddlers (DH and his bro, age difference is just 1.5 years) and more energy than me. Take all that with a pinch of salt.

Me1 · Jun 16, 2015

Nothing can help you in digesting those irritable words except faith in God. Use your two ears simultaneously.. one to listen and other to let pass the fowl words.

I know this is not an easy task but over a period of time u will master this trait for sure
Happy living

cheesecake · Jun 17, 2015

Thankyou all.I will try to do as you suggested.good to know this is normal behaviour of dh mother.

smartwife · Jun 17, 2015

Cheesecake,

This is how majority of the MILs are. They feel they and their dear sons are too good for you. It can be quite painful, especially after a childbirth, when your hormones are topsy-turvy.

Remember that MILs are insecure too. All these indirect insults, over-praising their DD, nitpicking and finding faults are a result of their insecurity. This can bring your self-esteem down.

What I suggest you is to learn verbal self defense. Its okay to give her an answer back once a while. But dont shout or get angry. Be diplomatic, give her an indirect answer with a your voice soft. Not always, but once a while.

This will send her a message that you wont accept being put down or critisized.

Apart from all these, do take care of yourself. Practice yoga and meditation. Listen to soothing music. Call or chat with your friends. Write a blog or a journal. Motherhood is the most beautiful phase of your life. Enjoy your new phase and your newborn.

cheesecake · Jun 27, 2015

Yes they can't tolerated that their daughter can be wrong too n think daughters in laws don't know anything. Some mother in laws are really nice and appreciate what you do but mine will never say anything good.today she said some recipe wrong n when I correct it she said I am wrong and her daughter in right.I ignored it but butit irritates me.no good words of appreciation that i am managing well.too much pride on herself though I am much better than rest of these showoffs.uff