DH having affair. How to confront?

My previous thread is 'between schylla and charybdis'. Now I fell into the deep blue sea, no life boat.
I mentioned about my husband talking to his ex-crush from school. The first time I saw those smses on is phone, I was convinced it's not a normal friendship. I asked him why he was being so close with her ' i'm coming to blore nxt week'; she asks why; he says 'to see you'' are u missing me'. He was so infuriated that he asked me to leave. It was about the time I conceived my first baby,back in 2009. The smses were dated to jan1 2007. He first met her in 2005 after reunion party.
He called me narrow-minded, and deleted her number from the phone.
But later, she came to Mumbai for visa, her dh was abroad.my dh took her to the visa office n was with her whole day. He didn't tell his parents.
After that whenever he went to blore, he met her, he never told me he's going to meet her. He used to mock me that I had no boyfriends even before marriage. That I have done nothing exciting.

When baby1 was 3 months old, he went on trip to Bangkok with my cousin.he went from blore.he scheduled dinner with her, he didn't mention it to me. When my cousin said it on the phone, I asked him who the friends were. He said ' manjusha' . I asked why r u meeting her? He sed line nahi mar sakTa Hun, her hubby is also coming. I felt soooo bad, I told him that. But he still went to the dinner.
Later when I returned to ils place I saw his call log when I used his phone once, he called her first thing he went out of the house, she called him in afternoon,he called again in evening..this is not a normal friendship.

I got upset and he told me he was not talking to anyone..
I believed him.now he is locking his phone with password.I am sure he has her pics and is in touch with her.how do I confront him?

He never holds my hands or talks to me lovingly. Never gave me a hug. He's emotionally distant. I feel we never bonded.

I'm so devastated. I am beautiful, definitely stand out in a crowd. Now he puts me down everyday u r not posh etc

 

He must have complained to that beep on me. It disgusts me that he may have discussed me with her.ladies I need your advice.I never ask him to buy me anything or take me out etc. All I wanted was a loving relationship with him and this is what I get. I wish the earth opens up and gobbles me and tAkes me where I can't feel this pain..."
This time he said "secrets are secrets no value, u r da one for me". Thats not acceptable to me. I don't want to dwell in the harem that is his heart. I want to be The queen..seems unlikely. How do I make him understand? How do I make him cut off this affair.# emotional affair

 

I hope they didn't get physical. It's going to be hard to believe him now though..

 

If they are just friends, why does he hide it from me. Never mentions her calls. Does not let me touch his phone.
He used to say things like ' u r my official gal, there will be other unofficial ones'; ' I gave u my virginity, what else do u want?' ....
I used to take it lightly but now I get it that he means it. He was telling the truth all the time n I was sooo blind. I want to make im confess and feel sorry for it. I want slap that beep n tell her dh about this clandestine affair. Should I snatch his phone? He must have hid or deleted information by now. Only getting him off guard will work. How?

 

I think u got me wrong:bonk, honestly

 

Cry heart, it's not OK to be frnds with an ex crush, is it? I wouldn't do that if I were him. How can anybody justify that?ok I'll buy the lingerie, nd go to the parlour often. I am not uneducated and I don't have time for a hobby, just started blogging though. Even before we had kids, when we had alone time, he was reclusive. He married me after a love failure(another girl). He told me after mrg and I just sed it doesn't matter to me bcoz it's over.I told him to put it behind him and that he needn't explain anything to me. But he kept her pics in his lappy...even after 2 yrs. I asked y not delete them? He sed he cudnt because she was cute. I am hurting inside and have nobody to pour my heart out. I never judge ppl in haste..

 

Thank you Gauri 03, if u could please read my earlier thread' between schylla and charybdis' u'll know what I'm going through. I was only 22 when I married, may be immature to say yes to my parents' choice of groom. My academic achievements are lying wasted bcoz of relationship issues..my life would be meaningless if I don't have a loving husband. What do I come home to? Why does he complicate things? U don't need to answer my questions...I know there r no answers, just like in love