DH asking back jewels on demand cos of MIL

Icy

You are right, you are in fog. You need to be away from your DH to clear things in ur mind, You need to be extremely strict with ur DH to make him sit , listen and implement.

Reading your posts makes me feel like you are constantly under huge stress and you are relaying this your posts, its as if you are on hot burning coals always..... you wud destroy ur health for sure

Why do u want a kid frm this marriage? I think u shud be heading for a split - I feel u DONT UNDERSTAND or dont want to understand what most of the people are trying to say here.....either u r really a kid or ur maturity level is v low/ u have self esteem issues...

u were working right? what happened to ur job? U need to have a job for ur sanity.... irresepctive of what is what at home.

Why cant u say NO to things u dont want to do?

Every day u have new set of small small issues but u dont sit n think abt urself as in what u r doing with ur life?

do u have friends?
frm ujr posts, it looks like ur DH has ZERO respect and care for you! plz think practically if u want to continue in this marriage

tc
mihisha

 

OK Icy you love your DH a lot like all sad wifes . Try to make a life for yourself while staying in your marriage if you want.
Get a job or join some course , you will make friends and forget the sadness , this will also give you confidence.
Certainly things will change when you do not hover around DH and are busy with your own life. Trust me then DH will realise the effort you were putting in the marriage. You will also be tired and go off to sleep while he watches TV.
But no babies as yet.
Do this and see the change in yourself and the people around you. DH will wonder where his doormat disappeared ! Then he will try to get your attention.

 

He might not support..but atleast he won’t restrict you right? So go ahead. :thumbsup

Getting away from household work? You can appoint a part time maid..(Beware: don’t mention anything abt your MIL here). Tell him that 'atleast you can do something positive and feel good when there is no one to care for you and your efforts at home'. Don't worry some day he'll realise all your efforts and come back to you.
Are you ready to try out mailing or writing to him in detail?
Oh..seems you'll have to manage both home and work and ILs + DH.. go for part time if that suits..

 

Icy, all of us in this forum are trying to help you genuinely. You are only 24. Don't ruin yourself in this emotional mess and persistent confusion. First get clarity of mind. Work, husband, in-laws are secondary. The primary and the core is your self. The self is the root for what we are. If the root is deep and strong, the tree bears the brunt of any weather. If you are like a weed, you will get swept by any type of weather and you will rot. Think how you want to be, and then you decide on how you want to live and shape your life.

Icy, parents, siblings, spouse, inlaws, children friends and the plethora of people whom we meet in our life just come and go. We have a duty towards ourselves until we die. Please fulfill that duty and then think about how to please the rest.

 

Dear Icy tell your DH that you want to work partime first and start looking for a job.
Dont try to get his support, he may not like you making friends and working . Mil too may try her best to stop you but fear not !
Once you take charge of your life things will change for the better. Try it.
But you must be firm with your decision and manage things. Everything is possible .
Just take the first step with confidence and be happy.

 

Dear IcySpicy,

I have been reading all your threads and all the replies of the ladies out here. There have been times when I have also felt you are acting immature etc, but I also feel that it is circumstances that is making you act like this. Since I didnt have anything of additional value to add, I didnt write anything.

Now when I saw your last post, I just felt like writing to you. I dont know if you will answer my queries or read whatever I wrote. Anyway I just want to ask you, my dear , I am just trying to understand what were you trying to convey in your last post? Did you feel hurt by what your MIL said or Did you feel irritated with your mil's brother? Or did you post this here just to vent out your emotions?

When we dislike a person so much, even good things they say or even if they open their mouth, we will take it in a bad sense. It has happened to me also in the past when I was newly married. But with time, I learnt that we have to learn the art of ignoring/ brushing aside stuff that dont matter. If my MIL told me "oh, so much who will eat?" , I wouldnt even bother to answer. I am not saying that you have to be rude or that you have to disrespect her. All I am saying is learn to let go of all these small small things, because ultimately only your health and mental peace will get affected.

You know another thing which might help you. Show your MIL that you dont get bugged by what she does... show her that you are not getting the least bit affected by anything she does... Just do all your work / housework promptly,neatly , listen to music, read books, have a smile on your face and project confidence and surround yourself with positive energy... Even your DH will be happy to see the change in you.

 

Icy I agree with Contended , pick your battles !
Learn to ignore. When one lives with people then there are plenty of things that are said , why take offence all the time ?
ILs and DH will not be praising you all the time , maybe your parents did and spoilt you rotten.
Chill.