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Despicable Me - Cultivating Self-compassion

Discussion in 'Healthy Living' started by HappyBunny, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. HappyBunny

    HappyBunny Silver IL'ite

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    I am not crazy about myself right now. But I am trying to stop with the self-hating so that I can be more productive.

    30 days - planning on being nice to me.

    I thought I should buy myself something nice today. But I have everything I need and more.

    I can't think of anything. So I will start from tomorrow. I am sure I can find some cheesy article about self love on the net.
     
    satchitananda, Sinant, Laks09 and 4 others like this.
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am glad you decided to make this thread, now make every day count. Doing something nice for yourself needn't mean grand or expensive gestures. Little things that make you feel worthy will do.

    I know I am repeating myself but self loathing is a twisted sort of escapism. You feel guilty about something and subject yourself to self-flagellation -- vile, hateful thoughts about yourself -- to relieve the guilt. It works temporarily because it appeals to our sense of justice, as in, "I did something bad and I deserve to be punished for it." It feeds the need to do something productive to address the guilt except it has the opposite effect. Self-hatred is mentally and physically exhausting. It fogs up your decision-making faculties; it robs you of the physical strength to take tangible action. Sounds counter intuitive but it amounts to taking the easy way out. It is easier to sit around calling yourself a miserable loser than take ownership of your circumstances and soldier on.

    Treat yourself like you would a good friend who has erred. You wouldn't say hurtful things to a friend who has made a mistake and you shouldn't do that to yourself. Forgiveness and compassion should start at home. Self-awareness is a virtue no doubt, but too much of it doesn't do any good. Shakespeare ought to have said, "This above all: to thine own self be kind."

    Try this every day for a few days or for as long as you need to feel better --

    http://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-sh*t-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play

    Replace the asterisk with the letter 'i'. IL doesn't want us to be corrupted by bad words like sh*t! The questionnaire was designed for people with executive dysfunction who struggle with self care. It might help take the load off on days when you can't muster the energy to think straight.

    I'll follow along for the month. Hope this phase passes soon.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2018
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Why don’t you join some class which you love?

    Dance,yoga or music..anything one hour of some hobby which makes you feel good.That is self love..

    Eat better and no junk food..our bodies should be respected and eating healthy is a sign of self love.

    Practice commitment to something..

    Example:Like drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning as a practice..it will make you have more self
    Control

    Declutter

    Keep surroundings clean.. go for Ayurveda..better diet etc etc

    Hope it helps
     
    sonal1611 and HappyBunny like this.
  4. HappyBunny

    HappyBunny Silver IL'ite

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    I restarted my skin care routine that I had abandoned earlier this year. Even put a sheet mask on.
     
    goldenhoney87, kaniths and Gauri03 like this.
  5. HappyBunny

    HappyBunny Silver IL'ite

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    You have hit the nail on the head. Thank you, needed to read something like this.
     
    Gauri03 likes this.
  6. HappyBunny

    HappyBunny Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks. I joined a yoga class but the meditative silence is not good for me right now so I am skipping it. I will try going to the next class.
     
  7. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    How about volunteering? It is highly satisfying when you do something for others and when you are recognized for the little things you do, you will start feeling good about yourself. Give it a try.
     
    Viswamitra likes this.
  8. HappyBunny

    HappyBunny Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks. It's a good idea, one that I had implemented a few years ago. And it probably saved my sanity.

    Some people (me) cannot keep things simple. They chafe at such recognition and wonder if it is genuine because they cannot believe that anything they ever do can be good (enough).
     
  9. HappyBunny

    HappyBunny Silver IL'ite

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    I made myself walk into the yard and look at flowers. Predictably, an inner voice yelled that I don't deserve to enjoy the beauty.
    And I asked myself, like @Gauri03 pointed out above, if this was what I would tell a friend in the same situation. The answer is obvious.
    So I continued looking. The plants are in disarray and need some attention. The flowers are gorgeous.
     
  10. ranju5

    ranju5 Silver IL'ite

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    How about buying a book on "tapping" and this will help you with loving your self. Self love is not selfishness. If you are looking for inspirational book try this one: The Little Book of Sass: Amazon.co.uk: Meera Sharma: 9781983481796: Books
    it is funny and very easy to read

    [​IMG]
     

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