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Depressed..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tictactoe, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. tictactoe

    tictactoe New IL'ite

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    Mine is arranged marraige ...
    My hubby didnt inform me before marraige that he had partial epilepsy ... we dont have kids yet...after three yrs of marriage he got an attack last week... the worst day i couldnt bear to see him during that attack i panicked ...so helpless...i cried a lot....i didnt know what it was.. i ran to the neighbours for help.....i love him lots irrespective of his illness...
    There are so many other tensions in life like bad debts , loans credit cards and now this.....
    i dont know wat to say?
    I dont have the energy or interest to type any further...im so worried for him i keep thinking all the time now...
    pls advise
     
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  2. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Tictactoe,

    I do not know where to start as I am the first one to reply here.

    Well since you say you love your hubby irrespective of his illness, let me tell you please continue to do so.I assume he is also lovable.What would you do when you have a kid (God forbid) who has such illness.Please stand by him and support him and try to cure him.

    Yes, it is bad that this was hidden before marriage by him and his In-laws.But you cannot do anything about it right?:coffee

    Gear up.Do not feel depressed.It is your family and the key for happiness is in your hand.Life is a struggle for almost everybody.You are not alone.Face the reality and make your life more meaningful.


    This is my opinion.You need to go ahead with life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2010
  3. Mallie

    Mallie Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Tictactoe

    You are lucky to have a loving husband...and apart from that your relationship with your husband seems to be perfect as you say you love him. So keep this intact. Every person has their own share of problem. If not this there are a whole hell of problems women face day to day.

    Just show your love to your husband. I guess if medicine is taken regularily, this can be cured as one of my relative has this problem. He is happily married and has kids. His wife makes sure that he does not go any where alone. She always accompanys him when ever he drives and things like that. They are such a loving couple.

    And about that money issues....I think this is not a problem as many households do have this problem. This is something which you can put under control soon.

    So stop being depressed and be happy always. Good day.
     
  4. tictactoe

    tictactoe New IL'ite

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    Thanks a ton bhuvnidhi and Mallie...

    Yes we love each other a lot. As per his record of illness he has had 5 attacks till date from college time with a gap of 3 to 4 years . Since the past two years he had stopped taking his medicines thats why the attack this time..
    I tell you it was a terrible sight for me to see him go through the attack. I could feel my world crashing in front of me.. But i love him too much.. I will always support him.

    tictactoe.
     
  5. sherin2015

    sherin2015 New IL'ite

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    Dear Tictactoe,

    Please dont be upset, start the new year with new hopes and prayers that your husband will never get these attacks and instead of getting depressed thinking of bad things, just think of the others blessings in life as no body has a perfect happy life.

    I hope everything will be well.
     
  6. vimala1957

    vimala1957 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey,

    relax.There is a treatment for epilepsy, though the course is long. See a doctor and start off. Do not panic or show your worries to your DH. I a sure the doctor will explain things well.

    everything will be ok, Just learn how he must be cared for when the attack is there and also find out what precautions to be taken. Be strong both mentally and health wise so that you can take proper care.

    Good luck
     
  7. cheerful

    cheerful Bronze IL'ite

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    tictactoe,
    my cousine have the same, he is married and they have very healthy boy with no issues.. My cousine had one attack in last 5 years. Consulta doctor and take medication when required. Right now your husband needs your support, caring and affection now.
    take care & God bless
     
  8. dharshiniusa

    dharshiniusa Bronze IL'ite

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    Hai,
    my mom used to tell that my father had epilepsy when he was young..i am 27 years old i dont have any such problem i also have a kid now..u can v well have healthy kids..all that u need to do is just visit doc and follow instructions..nowadays anything is curable dont worry
    imagine my dad took tablets before 45 years ..now u get more advanced medicines...
     
  9. 12adityas

    12adityas Bronze IL'ite

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    Then what are you waiting for? Talk with him, convince him on the need for getting a medical treatment so that his problem can be mitigated. Then, start the treatment and support him with your love & affection throughout.

    After my arranged marriage, I found that my wife has an anxiety-driven problem that was causing her much inconvenience. Since I love her much, and unable to see her torture herself every time she had an attack, I convinced her of the benefits of medical treatment and once she agreed, we started the treatment. Its going good & so far, it seems to help. In my opinion, heartache caused by loss or lack of love doesnt compare or even comes close to the heartache of seeing a loved one suffer & you just not being able to do anything about it. So get to a medical profession before its too late.
     
  10. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    It is my understanding that some (many?) epileptics must take medication throughout life but when it is under control, it can be lightened. The reason for your husband's epilepsy could be some head trauma which would have absolutely no effect on future generations. It is important to get it under control as he could hurt himself falling and repeated seizures (depending on type) can cause brain damage. Please have your husband seek medical help....there are good doctors here in USA that can certainly help him. Best wishes.....
     

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