Death, where is thy sting!

iyerviji · May 13, 2010

Dear Anna

Thank you for your blessings. Here in Mulund Bhajanotsavam is going on. Today namasankeerthanam was there for which I attended with my husband.

I was thinking of you when I was there, as I saw one small cockroach was running from one place to another. I dont knowto describe about it as how you describe. Though it was a very small one, some ladies and gents were watching and getting scared that the cockroach should not come near them. Somehow the crockroach went near one lady who was sitting there but later it was not to be seen. The ladies sitting behind wanted to tell that lady but they did not tell. The cockroach must have gone somewhere else not disturbing anyone I think.

I am not scared of cockroach but scared of chadapuram, I dont know what they say in English for that.

Namaskaram
viji

ganges · May 14, 2010

dear Cheeniyaji

I too blessed to read your wonderful write up because of the recent fbs placed by some of our ILite friends including my sis viji.

I too from a village near kanyakumari, where there were a lot of people who used to take the panjangam a hundred times daily to know for many reasons. Palli palan is quite a common one. Even though we dont have much belief in all that we too happened to see the panjaangam for the same reasons and spent many disturbed nights. I thouroughly enjoyed your posting flavoured with little humour. thanks for bringing some old memories in me cheeniyaji. good night.

pranams

ganges

Cheeniya · May 14, 2010

Dear Ganges
Thank you for visiting an old thread of mine and offering your FB and thanks for your words of appreciation.I also read the Panchangam whenever I feel bored. I look at the cases of some of my peers who got married after matching their horoscopes according to the 'poruthams' described there but whose marriages turned out to be utter failures. Then I start thinking what went wrong with them despite strongly matching horoscopes. I get some interesting insight! What can horoscopes do if the concerned people decide to make a mess of their life!
Sri

Sobhi · May 14, 2010

Dear Cheeniya Sir

Nice write up.
Hmmmmm lizards and cockroaches scare hell out of me....
I hate them literally. Have heard many such popular saying related to cockroaches and lizards.

regards
Shobha

Cheeniya · May 15, 2010

Dear Sobhi
You are not alone in hating these creatures. I have heard of an Arab Shaik suing a Star hotel in Mumbai because a lizard perched on the ceiling did not allow him to sleep! Though in India, they are very common , our fear of them is also common. To overcome this fear, we consider them as messengers of good luck and good fortune.
Sri

ojaantrik · Jun 9, 2010

Dear Sri:

Only this morning, when I had just entered the bathroom to take my bath, I saw a lizard. Unlike the big fat one you encountered in your bathroom, this one was a cute little one. Around a few days old perhaps. It ran away as soon as it saw me, but hid under the change I had carried with me to the bathroom, to wear when I came out!

Cute or no, a lizard inside your pants is not particularly welcome. The matter kept bothering me till I decided to wear whatever I was wearing before I entered the bathroom, once the bathing ceremony was over. I shifted back into the sweat soaked banyan and pajamas and emerged from the bath much to my wife's surprise. Besides, the way I opened the bathroom door on my way back to civilization must have appeared strange to her. You see, my clean clothes were hanging on a hook attached to the door and the lizard in question was waiting in battle gear right behind the same clothes. I didn't wish to disturb it, which is why I opened the door with supreme care, so as not to produce the slightest bit of vibration and tip toed out.

My wife is a brave woman by the way and lizards or bats or cockroaches have never been her problem. Not even ugly spiders. When these animals show up, it is she who takes care of them as I hide under a bed sheet resembling a rabbit hiding inside a burrow. She has even told her friends that she is the only male member of my household. The only other member in question being me!

Well, this lizard reminded me that I was yet to read up all the parts of your trilogy on the subject. I made a mental check and left home to go and yell at my bank manager. A big yell was long overdue, the reason being that the bank was not sending me a TDS certificate despite several requests and return submission time being so close at hand.

I walked over to the bank in this sweltering heat and walked straight into the banker's air-conditioned chamber. I eyed him with undisguised hatred as I told myself that these overpaid AC chamber-wallahs are totally incompetent. They sleep in their offices while honest folk such as I sweat it out in the sultry Calcutta weather.

The banker in turn stared back at me in stupefaction, seeing I think that my face bore all the signs of a bomb ready to explode and destroy all creation. To help me carry out my mission in relative comfort, he even offered me a seat and asked if there was a way the bomb could be defused.

I laughed back at him with undisguised mockery. I was in Utpal Dutt in the movie Naram Garam (?), when in reply to Amol Palekar's desperate plea: mujhe maaf kar dijiey sir, he thundered back: myay tumko saaf kar dunga. Somewhat in the same style, I think I said: I refuse to defuse and proceeded to ignite the fuse.

Upon which the manager whispered with all the humility at his disposal and asked me what my problem was. Now that was unbearable. Like Utpal Dutt, I too thundered: Problem? I've been after you for a stupid TDS certificate since 300 BC or so and you ask me what is the problem? Mayhem man, prepare yourself for a mayhem.

The man restrained me as well as he could and made me repeat what it was that had made me turn into a terroist. Upon being told about the social neglect I have been facing, he quickly keyed in some numbers into his computer and ended up smiling broadly as he watched the screen, which I couldn't see from my end of the table of course. Wipe that smirk off your face I was about to shout again, but he was faster. He informed me with the speed of light (thereby not giving me a chance to ignite the fuse) that my total interest earning for the year was less that 10K and as per rules no T had been D-ed.

I sat facing him with the unused bomb in my hand. Why didn't you tell me so when I called up during 300 BC? Oh yes, that was a mistake, we should have told you that you are a pauper and paupers don't need to pay taxes. But that would have been rude wouldn't it?

I got up and left. From AC to 42 degrees of bright sunshine. And then I remembered this little lizard that was hiding behind my clothes about an hour ago. There are no almanacs that we have at home, but I asked myself what a small lizard running away from you portends? And I found the answer immediately. It tells you that you are about to make a fool of yourself.

I am less lucky than you, I could see. You came, you saw, you murdered the fat lizard, whereas I saw, I ran and slipped into a pond full of water hyacinth. You are the mighty warrior who kills fat lizards and I am the silly goat that small lizards chase into the butcher's abode.

I thought I should add this thing as an appendix to your lizard trilogy. Or, if you permit me, I would like to call your trilogy a quadralogy now. Just to inform the unwary that small can be more lethal than big. Of course, Einstein had said it long ago. But even he didn't know what a lizard kid could do to people compared to a lizard adult.

Love.

oj

Cheeniya · Jun 9, 2010

My dear OJ

That little lizard holding you to ransom in the bath room is as pretty a scene as Lord Krishna grabbing the clothes of the lovely Gopikas bathing in Yamuna and perching himself on a tree watching them amusedly.

I am not completely in agreement with what you say about the co-inhabitants of our pants. Why do you single out a lizard as an unwelcome guest in the pants? I can’t stand even a small bug trying to fraternize with my super sensitive legs when they make an entry into the pants. As far as I am concerned, a tiny bug is as unwelcome as a lizard within the confines of my pants. But I concede that you took the most prudent action in the circumstances. I might have run out of the bathroom like the famous Archimedes but you were at least resourceful enough to keep the soiled clothes with you. I normally get them out of the bath room with a violent kick before entering the shower. Imagine my plight if the lizard had chosen that particular moment to play the fool with me!

Your description of your wife puts her on par with Indra Gandhi. Remember how Indra Gandhi was always described as the only man in the Union Cabinet? But I conjure up a vision of Sankari as a Ring Master with a whip in hand and a stern look forcing a couple of fat lizards stand on their hind legs with a juicy cockroach perched between them at a tantalizing distance!

I have myself been a Bank Manager for 25 years but that was a time when AC was a luxury given only to the top brass who never had to meet any customer. The rest of the Managerial guys like me languished in chambers which used to be worse than the concentration camps of the Nazis. In that kind of a set up, even minor Banker-customer issues would always escalate into major tussles with the foreheads of all the connected persons revealing the intricate network of blood vessels jutting out like hidden fingers!

To make matters worse, every banking task had to be performed manually which meant spending close to 14 hours a day in the office. We always had maximum trouble with the law abiding clients who insisted on certificates being issued even for trivial amounts debited to their accounts in respect of expenses incurred in the normal course of business. There were a few clients who made a bee line to the Bank Manager to retransmit all the harsh treatment they might have suffered at home in the hands of their ‘menacing half’

I can understand the picture that you have so eloquently painted about your tryst with the Manager. Conducting such parleys in a chilled room takes away the lethal stings of such encounters. Imagine Buddha Dev and Mamta discussing a vital bone of contention travelling in plush Saloon of Rajdhani Express!

Make this a quadralogy please! This one is too good to be featured as an appendix to my Rambling!
Sri

ojaantrik · Jun 10, 2010

Dear Sri:

I woke up this morning with a feeling that there was a task that stood unfinished. There was something I had forgotten yesterday and I kept searching my mind in vain. Till I came across your brilliant repartee to my fb. I remembered the fascination that I felt all over again for your style when I read this:

The lizards, as you may have noticed, take an eternity before they decide on their next move. From spot A to spot B, they travel in less than 5 seconds moving at an incredible speed but they take almost 30 minutes to decide which way to move. The one that had just used my head as a landing pad was also handicapped by the fact that the floor of the bathroom was still wet on account of the unscrupulous use of water by the previous visitor. And when it comes to moving on wet surfaces, lizards can be as immobile as tunicates.

I had, therefore, no alternative but to stay rooted at my spot waiting for the slimy lizard to make its next move. I would not hazard a guess if the lizard had a similar plan of action running in its tiny head which made it even more immobile and it seemed like eternity as we stood there eyeing each other with amazing intensity. I had adopted the famous Lucknowy attitude of ‘Pahle aap’ and was determined not to come in the way of the route the lizard was planning to take.
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I just wanted to tell you that I saw an Indian Wodehouse at work as I read these passages. It made me feel so damned proud of you Sri.

Love.

oj

Cheeniya · Jun 10, 2010

My dear OJ
To be called an Indian Wodehouse by someone like you is the ultimate realisation of my literary dream. Such a lavish praise is bound to take my ego level to such heights whence the Himalayas might look like tiny ant hills and honestly I am enjoying it.
Thank you buddy. You have made my day!
Sri

mkavinu · Jan 7, 2011

Hi All,

Today around 6 AM in morning, I woke up on hearing calling bell multiple times, thats when i realized I forget to put milk token. So I had to hurry up open door to collect milk packet. I didnt switch on my lights in Hall. that when i realized i stamped on some softy thing. When i switched on lights, i realized I stamped a Lizard and blood was scattered in floor. Yucky, I felt like vomiting and had to run to bathroom to wash my legs immdly. Since I didnt have panchagam at home, i searched on internet to know the Palli Palan( just curious to know if anything there, as When lizard falls on parts of body, there is Palan givien , but i have stamped and killed the lizard. ) Is there something really there on this Palan. Thats when i came accross Cheeniyas posting on Lizard, which was very intersting and humourous to read.
Just want to add some info on supersticius beleif cockroaches. People say they will be wealth when more cockroaches are there in home.
Truly telling, in earliers days those who are wealthy have a store room or small godown maintained to keep their groceries stored which intivites cockroaches to their home. Thats how the belief spreaded out instead of those who are wealthy has cockroaches, changed as if cockroaches are there, then the people will be wealthy.

Correct me if i'm wrong on this info.

Add to this, i still didnt get info on palai stamped palan :rotfl