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Death In The Family

Discussion in 'Bereavement' started by Nonya, Oct 17, 2017.

  1. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    In Ecclesiastes 7:2 (The Bible) it says:
    "It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart." < I do not know of the versions of this in Indian Languages. We have a similar one in Malay >
    There are vesions that end with the phrase "...and the living will take it to heart". A visit to a funeral, or the home of the bereaved would be a revelation to the living. They would get to know how the-departed had lived, what s/he had done, and how s/he had come to depart. Information! The living may go on to reflect on these things, and reassess their values and ways of life. Some may even get the pedestrian sort of lessons, about keeping their BP in check, getting their cholesterol numbers to where they belong, and always crossing the street where the zebras would.
    [​IMG]
    Those who live in foreign may often get the news darn too late, and even when they have the news of the demise early enough, there could be other local issues that make an immediate visit difficult to impossible. So ... all those expressions of condolences are sent by electronic means; and this is certainly not conducive to either receiving the benefits of a real visit, or strong enough to get to the heart of the forin-living.

    And the forin-living misses out on the opportunities for checks & rebalances, and goes on with her life. ..lah..di...dah.
     
    Naari, ChennaiExpress and Thyagarajan like this.
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:thought provoking reflection on ways of life indeed. thanks and regards.
     
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  3. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    When Abe Lincoln's son died....

    An excerpt from the 2017 Booker Prize winning novel was read on a radio show.
     
  4. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I am fortunate enough to have my Dad and realize how valued I am.

    Certain life experiences made me realize this.

    Now I try to be my best and make my Dad comfortable as possible while he us still alive.

    And I hope to do things that make him proud.
     
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  5. venlax

    venlax Silver IL'ite

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  6. venlax

    venlax Silver IL'ite

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    In Tamilnadu mostly people visit the family of the diseased in person before the body is taken for funeral,within the stipulated days or sometime later mostly based on relationship/friendship. Even circumstances or contingencies are pushed aside mostly .Under unavoidable situations only they will miss this & send communication over phone/mail etc. As correctly pointed out how to live or how hot to live is learnt in attending the funerals.Even enemies will make it a point to visit families where death had circled its hands.It is said that Ramayana is an example of how to live & Mahabharatham is an example of how not to live.Similarly many things are there. The support the family is getting is expressed by the gathering.In one community there is a custom of wearing the jewels the wife has at the time of death of husband. When people see this ,they will come to know of the status of the family & help.Nowadays people are reluctant to adhere to this practice for so many reasons. Thanks Nonya madam, urs will be an eye opener.
    "The woods are lovely,dark & deep but i have promises to keep & miles to go before i sleep"
     
  7. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    By "urs", you obviously meant my funeral, didn't you:hmmm: ? I want to wear my Mikimoto pearls!!:rolleyes:
    Venlax, you are a hoot!!
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2017
  8. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    I read this now Nonya & it is so true.. received news of my grandma from a cousin’s FB post.. parents didn’t msg as they were traveling to get there. Also they don’t tell me if someone isn’t well or sick, thinking I will worry.. And yes no chance to see last time, checks or rebalances!
     
  9. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    I read "that" you had mentioned about Bush-41 grabbing in the middle of discussion about funerals. Bush-41 used to be the Vice President of Ronald Reagan. One of the duties of an American vice president is to attend funerals when a foreign high-up government person falls off the perch. HW-Bush attended a lot of Russian funerals when he was VP. Members of the USSR politburo were are old fogies, and they'd drop dead, one every few months during that Reagon era. Bush has to go there, stand on the podium as the embalmed body went by in a procession, and eventually go out to the wreath laying function etc... Kremlin funerals are almost like unannounced Summit meatings of the proxies of the world leaders.
    This sort of relationship renewals happens in family funerals as well. Extended relations, especially the long absent ones like you, can get to meet and renew. Effects of the lost opportunities for attending funerals go well past the actual funerals.
     
  10. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    @Nonya ok, I am lost with the Russian funeral story & his role as VP & connection of that with his shocking admission yesterday :confundio1: I could trace your post in 1000 posts just by this one characteristic. But that also makes it very interesting, unless you are taking us all for a ride :lol:
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2017

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