dealing with SIL and BIL

Vasu99,

The best solution as everyone here has pointed out ,is to move-out ,live separately but continue to help the family within resonable limits.

But,here's my question "How are you going to do that?"

You have to tread this path very carefully,else it would boomerang on you.

You need to bring this up with your DH and make him realise the situation.That is ,he should be fully convinced that this is the best thing for him & you as a couple and for your future family.

When you bring this up with your husband ,make sure that you say the right thing,(choose your words carefully) and also at the right moment.

The reason I'm saying this is, in case you try to push this on your husband and if he is not fully convinced ,then it would leave you in a very dangerous situation.
Remember,these ppl are dependent on you and your husband's income ,so they would not like the idea of you guys living separately.Your MIL,SIL,BIL & FIL might gang up on you and potray you as the home wrecker to your husband.So,watchout...

I suggest ,you start off by dropping hints to your husband,about your future plans and how you would like to raise your kids,and how great it would be to have your own place and freedom.......and see how he reacts to that.

Never bring this up when you are emotionally stressed out or in the middle of a fight /argument.

Patience and Perseverance are your keys .........GOOD LUCK!:thumbsup

 

Indyan has a good point there, Vasu.
You got to work your way out. As someone pointed earlier, even if you are pregnant there, you cannot expect much help. This seems to be a dysfunctional set up.

 

just try to talk casually with your dh about living seperartely and see what are his reactions. You have to act very carefully in this situation especially when so many people are dependent on your dh income. Just try to think of ways and solve the problem tactfully.

And regarding your sil , talk to your mil that some things of her hurt you like her dominance.Try to take her to a park where you and her can talk.You can tell her that you like her as a mother but sometimes you feel sad when your sil dominates or shouts at you. Tell her that you are telling her these things because you feel she is like your mother.

Just be dipomatic and see the way it works for you.

 

Not a bane of mankind, bane of Indian culture.
I dont see arranged marriage and joint family system in the west, they give enough space for their kids to grow and flourish and don't cramp their lifestyle.