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Dealing with Judgmental Friend

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by arch1209, Jul 12, 2012.

  1. arch1209

    arch1209 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Folks,

    We are friends with this couple, where the wife is very sweet and husband is very prejudiced and judgemental. Love the wife, but cannot stand the husband's comments. Recently, got into an argument with him when he said that these days "women are getting too empowered." When I argued with him, he ignored him and told my husband, "Dude I did not know you have a feminist in the house. I can see who wears the pants in your house." My husband cooled the atmosphere saying, "My wife looks good in pants :rotfl, on a more serious note you can address her if you want to say something. She can address her own issues"
    Grrrr!!!! I am very uncomfortable around this couple, but I really like the wife, she is a very nice person.
     
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  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hats off to your husband. You have a smart one who will stand up for you. Good for you. If you do not like the male of that species, just avoid him. Even if you have to visit the family with your husband, go to the kitchen and have a little natter with his wife. As for this person, just say hi and bye. End of story.
     
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  3. vijikrish

    vijikrish Gold IL'ite

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    I wonder how the wife is dealing with this type of husband. He could be same torture to his wife.
     
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  4. pinky2

    pinky2 Bronze IL'ite

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    You got a supportive husband. Ignore that GUY/MAN. Tell the wife that you pity her being with him, when both are there.
     
  5. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    When guys act like that they are actually intimitaded and have superiority complex. You can never teach such people anything. So just ignore him and next time he tries to start an argument ,smile and change the topic.

    You are better off just speaking to the wife. He will get the message if ignored a few times.
     
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  6. salonihere

    salonihere New IL'ite

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    Sounds like a total MCP. Pity his wife. On the other hand you are lucky to have such a husbadn with such good sense of humor also. Good for you. Forget the guy and focus on the wife.
     
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  7. happymuma

    happymuma Bronze IL'ite

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    My DH tells me that 'feminist' term most of the times if i start talking back or fight for my own self respect.Haven't figured out how to deal with him.:hide:
     
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  8. arch1209

    arch1209 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you guys for all the wonderful suggestions. I think I am going to take your advice and ignore the guy. FoundLove I totally agree with you when you say that men brand women as feminist when they are intimidated by them. Actually the thing with his guy is he is a very supportive husband, encourages the wife, motivates her etc but only as long as she does not challenge him or surpasses him.
    I think "Feminist" is a very abused term & often taken in a negative sense by people. Little do people know that there are three types of feminists - Liberal, Marxist and Radical. Liberals are those that believe in women's rights, but only as long as women are able to balance both the home and work front. They agree that a woman is most comfortable and most at home when she is taking care of the kitchen. However, if women are given a chance they can go out in the world and become successful professionals, but home should be their primary responsibility. Marxist feminist are those that fight for equal rights at workplaces for women and lastly Radical feminists are those that are extreme men haters, they envision a world without men. That is my soapbox, and when someone calls me a "feminist" because I think men should help out their wives with house work - I give them the whole speech. They know next time not to get on my nerves :) Works for me I hope happymuma this would work for you to!
     
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  9. Hachiko

    Hachiko Gold IL'ite

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    You are very lucky to have such a supportive husband.Not all the husband will behave like this when someone knocks down his wife.I have a friend of mine,who is being bullied and teased( to the extreme level)..her husband is a typical guy who like to show off everything..pity my friend
     
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  10. anuram09

    anuram09 IL Hall of Fame

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    you are really lucky to get, such a nice and understanding husband. Hats off to him....
     
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