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Dating and remarriage after divorce

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by shailey1, Jun 29, 2010.

  1. shailey1

    shailey1 New IL'ite

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    I am getting divorced and I am wondering what are my prospects for dating and remarriage. It was a short marriage, I have no kids and I am 30. If someone is further down the line, please share. Do we only have divorced and widowed men to choose from, because single ones will think we are damaged goods? What are your experiences with dating American men? I want to have a partner and kids at some point but I wonder if marriage is worth the risk any more. It is easy to get married but the divorce process is long and bitter and tortuous.
     
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Shailey

    Welcome to IL. Sorry for asking this but you say you are still in the process of getting divorced and already you are thinking and talking about dating and remarriage?? Isnt it too early?? I know we cant put a time line on hte recovery/healing process but thoughts of remarriage while the divorce is still in process:bonkAre you trying to get some info and clarifications or are you already having someone in your mind and want to know what they would think about marrying a divorcee???

    Please do not get overwhelmed, and do not feel that no one would want you just because you had a bad marriage in the past. NO its not like that. We have seen many men and women who got remarried and are leading happy and wonderful lives.So be positive. First of all complete the task at hand. Get it over with all the mess thats in your present situation. Once all is done and over with, then think about the next steps.


    Reg. how unmarried/divorced/widowed men think, I guess the best thing would be to first figure out what you want from a marriage, from a life partner, from a friend and then try to understand what all are mandatory qualities and which are not, then when you meet a guy look for those qualities. Also if someone likes you, they wouldnt care whether you are divorced/single/widowed. So think about what you like about a person and approach them based on those qualities.

    please go through this thread which is on similar lines.http://www.indusladies.com/forums/life-without-spouse/98721-remarriage-things-to-be-considered.html
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2010
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  3. manyamanya

    manyamanya New IL'ite

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    Do not start any new relationship immediately after divorce.Take at least 2 years break.Enjoy the single life for some days.
     
  4. tuliplady

    tuliplady Gold IL'ite

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    Nothing like that..I read your other post and commented on it. One of my friends got divorced for the reasons exactly similar like you. She got married few months back to a guy who has never been married before. Another friend of mine who was divorced 5 years back also got married 10 days back to an previously unmarried guy.

    Both of these girls were extremely confident in life, never cried over spilt milk and moved on with a fresh perspective. Its all about your attitude. Dont consider yourself as 'damaged'..you are still a human being who wants to be loved and marry just like any other girl :)
     
  5. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    Dating and remarriage freshly after divorce could potentially lead to rebound relationship. When you are ready you can find someone and get married.
     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Shailey,
    I read your other thread. Pls. look into one final shot at whether your marriage can be revived - maybe you have looked at it and you cannot save it, if so you are the best person to judge it.

    You were only married for 1 year. Your DHs problem is treatable - medical and therapy both combination can cure that. Its not like your DH is an abuser like other stories we read on IL, or MIL-FIL issues etc. Its a solvable problem by professionals in medical and therapeautic profession.
     
  7. amoobhai

    amoobhai New IL'ite

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    First: what does DH stand for?

    Second: I agree with what was said earlier. If you see yourself as damaged goods, that's how others will see you as well. I know plenty of divorced woman who feel strong, independent and empowered and they have have no trouble meeting new guys. people who have a poor self image always have trouble attracting new people into their lives.

    I would suggest re-framing the situation by saying (and hopefully believing) that if anything you are a stronger person for going through such a difficult experience and that makes you even more attractive than you were before. Think about all the people who are in a marriage that isn't working and don't have the guts to change things, atleast you took charge and DID something.

    If all else fails, it's always helpful to take into account what you do have. Your health, your smarts, your still fairly young. Remember, It's never to late to start over! there are people in much worse situations than you.

    I hope some of this helps!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2011
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  8. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    DH = dear husband
    DW= dear wife
    mil = mother in law
    fil= father in law
    sil= sister in law
    co-sis = husband's brother's wife
    DD/DS = dear daughter, dear son
    FOO = family of origin
     
  9. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    If this is the kind of opinion you have on yourself, then how do you expect anybody else to have a good opinion about you.
     
  10. amoobhai

    amoobhai New IL'ite

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    ???

    dide my reply get removed??? whats did I do?
     

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