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Dad, I Am Grown Now.

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by HariLakhera, Nov 11, 2023.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    “DAD! I AM GROWN NOW”


    This is prompted by

    I Am Constantly Judged By My Mom. By SGBV

    The other day I was at my friend’s place who lives close by. Both parents were worried and angry and it was showing on their faces. It was almost 10 PM and their 15-year-old daughter had not reached home. She was supposed to have returned by 9 pm the latest, as instructed. She goes for tuition in the evening and returns by 9 pm. Just then, the bell rang.

    Father -"Shalini! Why so late”

    Shalini- “I was just hanging out with friends”

    Father- (sort of scolding) “We were so worried, you should be more careful”

    Shalini- (slightly irritated now) “No problem Dad, I am grown up now. I can take care of myself. Why don’t give me a mobile phone?”

    I thought it was time for me to leave. I took their permission and left. This incident which is not uncommon these days made me think. There are three issues involved.

    1. We should avoid scolding children in the presence of outsiders. Children are very sensitive and they do not like being scolded in the presence of outsiders or rather in the presence of anybody. Parents must take care of this.

    2. Today’s youngsters seem to be more confident. They think growing up solves all problems. In truth, most of the problems are there because of grown-ups. If growing up was the answer to problem-solving, there would be no problem. Our generation and generations before us have failed on many counts and so will be the coming generations. If we honestly look around and have the courage, we will accept that most of the mess around us is created by us, be it corruption, the much talked about malice, communal or class divide, global warming, drug addiction, alcoholism, terrorism, wars or whatever have you. True, there are some achievements in the fields of technology, politics, health, education, and economy but the discounts on values outweigh all of them. If our children are retorting, that too is some sort of paying back. How do we let our children know that growing –up does not guarantee anything? They have to be always on guard and understand that parents are genuinely worried about their welfare.

    3. Yes, a Mobile phone is a necessity but not having one is no excuse. We did manage to inform our parents about our late comings and there was not even a landline phone then. We did it because we thought it was genuinely expected of us. We either did not stay out late or were informed about the possibility in advance.

    We just cannot ignore it under the shelter of the generation gap. There is a need to understand the present generation and treat them in such a manner that they are in a position to understand us.

    HariLakhera
     
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  2. Neelima01

    Neelima01 Senior IL'ite

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    I acknowledge that children should not be scolded in front of outsiders
     
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  3. Dishaa

    Dishaa Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    You are talking about 15 year old.
    My husband is 40 year's still in-laws yell on us in front of friends/relatives/house helps/younger siblings if we get late while attending any pre decided function or outing.

    The scolding is not limited in person even on phone we are asked multiple times when we are returning even if we are late by an hour.
     
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  4. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    That is one of the reasons children do not want to live with their parents after marriage or want their parents to live with them.
    As parents, we have to know our limitations.
     
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  5. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    That is one of the reasons children do not want to live with their parents after marriage or want their parents to live with them.
    As parents, we have to know our limitations.
     
    Dishaa likes this.

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