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dad has a nasty affair

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by ConfusedSoul2, Apr 4, 2015.

  1. ConfusedSoul2

    ConfusedSoul2 New IL'ite

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    I am a 36 yr old woman. My dad is 62 yrs old and he enjoys a "super hero" status in our family. Recently I had the shock of my life when I learnt about my Dad's affairs with a 20 yr old girl and also wit her 40 year old mom. I felt so sick in my stomach when I was saw all the email and phone evidences. dad has been having an affair with the 40 year old for some years and is now crazy after the 20 yr old daughter and is ready to offer anything to her. Dad was infact trying to lure the girl by offering her money and gifts. The 20 yr old girl was offering all the services in return for dad's money. After knowing about all these nasty things, when my mom and I confronted him, he confessed about his affairs, admitted his mistake and promised not to meet those ladies again. He pleaded that we trust him. Please help me with your valuable advise on how to deal with this situation. He did a lot of good things for my family, but I really dont understand why he would do this at a very old age like this. Every one in the family is so badly hurt and so is the mutual trust.
    Please let me know what can be done to help dad come out of this? Can I trust my dad now as he promised he wont meet those ladies again? Is he turning into an addict and should he seek any medical help? Will there be any legal consequences for these affairs as per Indian law? Is my dad committing a criminal offense? Are the ladies committing a criminal offense? Can I lodge a complaint against those ladies for running a prostitution business in their house? How to tackle this problem?
    Please help..I am counting on your comments for rescuing my family.
     
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  2. Harini73

    Harini73 Platinum IL'ite

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    @ConfusedSoul42,

    Sorry to hear about your father.

    His he keeping his promise or his he still meeting them.

    Just speak to him calmly and let him know that you and your mother are deeply hurt by his behavior.

    I don't think that you can trust your father immediately.He has to earn his respect.
     
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  3. ConfusedSoul2

    ConfusedSoul2 New IL'ite

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    Hi Harini, Thanks for your reply.
    I should also mention that when i was confronting Dad , I realized that he was saying blatant lies. I provided the evidence I collected to prove that he was lying. then he simply said "I made a mistake and had to lie several times because of that mistake". After having heard him utter so much lies, I am finding it really hard to trust him when he says that he wont meet those ladies anymore.

    To answer your answer, I have no clue if he is still meeting them.
     
  4. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    How is your mother taking this? There is not much you can do to influence your father but support your mom to go through these difficult times. Legal actions would make it more public and harder for all of you.
     
  5. CoolPie

    CoolPie Silver IL'ite

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    Your mom might be shattered. Support her.

    As for going by the law, it will only defame your family's reputation. So think and act.
     
  6. godsgrace

    godsgrace Bronze IL'ite

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  7. Rise

    Rise Platinum IL'ite

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    i have seen similiar case in crime patrol, beware people , the woman need the money, and your dad will just give you empty promises now, if you go legal , your dad too is a culprit, so along with the woman your dad too is in for trouble. Show yr dad too that crime patrol episode , you and mom make sure the finances are not being misused
     
  8. mani75

    mani75 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Confused,
    My only suggestion would be to secure your mothers financial future by making sure your father nominates your mother in all his financial investments. Make sure the home is in joint name of your parents. Do not be live your father when he says he has left it all. Its difficult and also those women would not give up so easily so please protect t your mother first.

    I wish you peace
    Mani 75
     

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