Even as I think of this I don't feel good, its unethical, but when it comes to parenting I think such things are OK. Or I am utterly wrong. Watching for subtle signs of unhappiness or depression or stress in children from time to time is important. Even if something happens in the virtual world, it will reflect in the behaviour. May be reading their journal secretly once in a while, snooping their social media pages and gadgets, may be even befriend kids as a different person. I have not done these yet, I know its impersonation, but what more can parents do if children do not share but walk around depressed and sad?!
umm, may be we have to make them understand that till they reach certain age, they need to share their passwords with us and mom and dad also will be part of their group, and should be able to see what's going on there. but how much can we track with busy days. or we have to gain that trust from our kid that they can be share with us and they seek our help and we try to help them, if needed with the help of some school counselor. as they grow parenting gets a tougher job.
I am not going through this now a lot, but a while ago I had no choice except be part of the office groups online. It was very stressful and it still is to an extent. There is a group for team mates, ex-team mates, a group with managers, a group without managers, groups based on projects, groups based on people involved in sports within office, groups for office mates who are also college mates, groups for office mates who are also school mates and so on. The most stressful was the one with teammates, specially when the manager is included. I had my share of experiences with micro managers. Constantly checking online status, even when on a break constantly asking everyone to return, asking for updates by email every 10 minutes. I cannot say this is extreme bullying, but it did affect my work-life balance. Even after work, the groups are misused and updates are asked, follow ups for next day work and pending work are done. Its more annoying when one works with technology all day long, gets back home and opens the laptop/phones to check the messages and respond even while having dinner. If I compare India vs abroad, there is a lot of difference, but it is still present. Email communication is misused too. A person can simply forward the emails from one person to another thereby falsifying the person. It is always wise to not send sensitive, private and personal information via email. Discretion and caution is required to the maximum extent possible.
IMO it is a parent's duty to snoop. I have snooped and felt bad on not discovering anything of concern, except grammar errors and messages/emails unresponded to from relatives or teachers. : ) I've read about this, and didn't get how parent can befriend kid as a different person. My kids are not allowed to be friends with kids they haven't met in person unless part of an online course/group I know about. For adults they befriend the rules are even stricter - even for relatives and family friends, I have to approve each adult they add as friend or communicate by email etc. So, I never understood how parent can pretend to be another person and befriend kid on social media. Though that would definitely come handy.
A couple of times on this very forum I was targeted, called names and have been made fun of by a few users. Reason - I wrote my opinions. There was a particular instance very recently in one of the threads where I disagreed with the OP. OP called me names, said my opinions were stupid. Another thread, a user called OP's thinking as nonsense and OP as stupid. Each of the instances here is bullying. I reported and the next day they were all out ! Respect the fact that bullying is taken seriously here on IL. As someone who uses this site, I treat myself responsible to make sure there are no posts in the threads I respond to/I read, that are offensive and bullying. If I find any I "Report" - moral policing you may call it.
It is possible if the rules for approval were not established previously?! Establishing seeking approval is a handy tip.
Reporting is definitely good. Generic comments: I want to point out that most often the comments are about the post, not the poster. Not taking things personally to some extent is also needed. (Easy to say, tough to do ) Plus, there is a usage of demeaning words in our spoken language which kind of influences users to post the thoughts as such. A filter between brain and hand is best to use here....
Well said @Sparkle. Mine were specifically targeted at me with @sbonigala tagged in the comment. It was hurtful to see that readers take opinions too much to heart and fail to realize that its an opinion to which the user is entitled to
Oh rules can be established anytime and can change anytime, with zero notice like 500 and 100 rupee notes being declared invalid. : ) There were no rules in place until I once saw 320 friends, some rank strangers. I believe about that number of hair turned from black to white instantly that day on my head. : ) Somehow I had forgotten about this - my own experience with lack of previously established rules. : ) Parental amnesia.
