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cunning Inlaws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Indumati, Mar 2, 2007.

  1. preethi27

    preethi27 Senior IL'ite

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    Hai Indhu

    I am really surprised to see Ur mail because I am also having the same exact problem. Due to this my husband & myself are in different place. My huband knows that their parents are doing mistake & their cunning behaviour, but he is not taking any actions for that. He is only advicing me. Even he is not helping & understanding me. He started telling that his sister is the only best women. Really I am also sailing on the same boat. He is not talking to me now. But, I really love him. I dont know what to do. My-inlaws has created a bad opinion about my parents to my husband. Becuse they feel that he should not talk & move freely to my parents.

    Friends, pl pray for me too. I want my husband back with the same affection which I had before marriage. He should understand the good things soon. My husband should understand my parents & move to them freely. Please pray these things for me. I believe in joint prathanais. I will also pray for U Indhu.

    Thanks in advance
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2007
  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi, indhu and preethi,

    Both of you keep your hope positive. Your love for your husband will definitely triumph over all other matters and give you what you want the most.

    Yes joint prayers really work wonders. will certainly pray for both of you.

    in the mean time, be happy, be positive and you will see the world is brighter.

    love,
    shanthi.
     
  3. preethi27

    preethi27 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks Shanthi

    I expect Ur words should come true.
     
  4. Rogo

    Rogo New IL'ite

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    Dear Indhu and Preeti ,

    Count me in your group ,I am too facing the same issues .
    I don’t want to write my experience here because it will run into pages (I have been married for 2 yrs) ...also I have to include my family's woe in that.

    Dear Indhu and Preeti , Pls Don’t worry ;I shall surely include you both in my prayers.
    I just keep remembering two phrases when I get depressed; one is the famous Gita quotes and other is "Even this will pass". (Though it is really hard to believe it when we are stuck in this situation)
    Have faith in God ..he is just making us strong by giving all these issues

    Dear ladies of IL ,Pls pray for me too.
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi rogo,

    Dont worry. you are going the right way. yes it will pass.

    We will pray for you.

    love

    shanthi.
     
  6. Mathu

    Mathu Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Am married for 3 years for now and was living in a join family in India till a few months back.What i learnt in these 3 years is how to be a strong person and make it clear to others what we are thinking.
    I had many bad patches as like everybody.Also am married at the age of 21 which is surely very young in this century.Am not allowed to work after wedding.But i made it a point to pursue with my Post-graduation atleast thru' correspondence.With god's grace i finished it too.

    In the beginning of the married life i was really struggling to handle things.I used to react for everything.But it was useless and only damaged my reputation.Then i decided to discuss every issue with my husband and make my points clear to him.It is true that till today he will never accept his parent's mistakes or speak to them in support of me.But atleast he listened to my points and many of our ordinary conversations wil turn into fights many times.But i never gave up.Many times i am scared my FIL that he will report my arrogant behaviour to my parents inspite of knowing well that my father is an acute heart patient.I never cared about that because i know am truthful to myself.
    Am not a very patient person by charecter,but now i know how to handle people.I don't scream at them when they do something bad but tell them straightly without any mediators that am not ok with their behaviour.Eventhough it had created a gap in the relationship between me and my in-laws,atleast i have the satisfaction that am not cribbing anyone at my heart.
    Why am telling all this here is BE BRAVE AND TRUTHFUL TO YOU.There is atlast one life to live for us.Why should we waste it being unhappy just because somebody is ill-treating us.Don't take anything to heart and be yourself.
     
  7. preethi27

    preethi27 Senior IL'ite

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    Friends

    Thats true. I have decided to face everything & be honest as I was. Why should I loose my own good character for the sake of that cunning people? Why should I loose my precious time & happiness?? I have given all my worries to god. Let him face my problem & let me equip myself much more better than before.

    Friends, be brave & act too smart at all times. This will only help us. No other way for us.

    Men will never accept their parents cunningness. But time will come. Liers cannot live happily for long time. Dont worry friends.

    Now I am praying god, no other woman should join this count. Everyone should be happy with their families.

    Love
    Preethi
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. vinj74

    vinj74 New IL'ite

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    Hello everyone

    I have excperienced same problems like indu,sihi shanvy ,preeti and everyone here in one life .of 10 yrs of marriage.
    But luckily my husband realised this truth after 4yrs.marriage(I calls this very soon ) and from that day both of us(me & hubby) made fool of ourself till last year.We did everything to make them happy celebrating Bdays to there hospital things .buying house for them to everything infact more then wt all any normal relationship son and D-il cld have done.
    And now they simply broke all the relations besides there financial relation(earlier also just money thingswere the only thing).Now We are feeling like we wasted our life 10 golden years on them.

    From past 1 year they are torturing us ,threating us and cant tell wt else.Its War like situation which is one sided only.Seems they have forgotten everything how we pampered them,and how we cared for them everything.



    So acc to me you just concentrate on youself and your hubby.Because sometimes they people wont change till your death.And end of the day you will feel great looser.

    This sounds very depressing ,but if you will have your own happy hubby and baby you will see reason to live.And try to live your life for yourself .If u wants to work then work.wants to learn something so learn .leave them aside.Because they are not God we shld not live on there mercy and acc to them.



    vins
     
  9. kanaka

    kanaka Bronze IL'ite

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    I like Mathu's ways of tackling the issue. Speak straight. Accept if you are wrong. Otherwise tell them to mind their business. We may not be popular. They may carry tales. But at one point of life those who enjoyed at your cost will come back to you. You know why? Though late truth has to win.

    I don't like praising somebody when I don't mean. Then we are hypocrats. Should we be hypocrats to our own conscience? No. Talking straight hurts people. But they dare not play with you. kanaka
     
  10. varhem

    varhem IL Hall of Fame

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    hi
    read all the posts.i like mathu's way of handling things.
     

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