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Crushy Guy

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by paru123, Nov 7, 2023.

  1. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    This is a silly crushy post regarding a guy. I have seen him since 2 years back but never noticed him or paid any attention to him then. He is a parent who waits at the bus stop to pick and drop his school kid along with many other parents which are mostly ladies. This guy has shift duties, so sometimes his mom, his wife or maid drops or picks up the kid in his absence. Kids are more or less of same age waiting at the bus stop. Last year I had a regular parent friend to talk to so I never noticed this guy before, nor his mom, wife and kid as a matter of fact.
    This year my usual friend was not there , so i started talking and mingling with other parents on a small scale. Even then i never noticed and talked to this guy. I never even looked at his face. Somehow I didnt care. One day I talked to his wife and she is very smart,bubbly, relatable and cheerful than most other female parents. I liked her instantly. Then after a few days I talked to his mother while waiting for the bus. Even his kid is very cheerful and nice to talk to type kiddo. Only then i started paying attention to him. Usually i dont mingle much with gents if there is no need to talk. Then from last month onwards i felt an intuition that he is staring at me. I could have said hi hello to him but I didnt as I didn't want to. From the past 1 week I started to feel very conscious about him. So today i just dared to look at him. And today was the last day of the first semester and he gestured a bye. I smiled back. I have never seen him talking to any other parent. Has kind of a serious look type personality. I feel embarassed and awkward of his bye gesture in the presence of 4 other ladies parents.
    I know its all so silly but cant get this out of my head.
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    When does second semester start? IL nation wants to know. :blush:
     
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  3. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    :grinning: second semester starts after 2 weeks only. But this guy lives just 4 5 blocks away from my society and i can see him on his bike atleast once a day from my house. Surprisingly never saw him so often before or may be i didnt notice. He might be out to drop his wife or buy stuff from shops.

    Hope this crushy feeling gets crushed out at the earliest.

    Wish someone replied as to how they got over or handled real life nearby living crushes and the associated emotions especially married people, when society in general can never acknowledge new friendships with opposite genders outside workplace.
     
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  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't panic. Enjoy this phase and it is good for your health.

    After marriage, kids and the mundane life kicks in, it is important to be noted, and paid attention by someone, especially the opposite gender to make us feel alive.
    This is more of you want someone to notice you than them noticing you. Just don't do anything for now.

    Don't smile, don't talk to him, don't take any steps towards materializing this crush. Just enjoy the feeling until it lasts.
    Usually this will not survive more than a month. At least until you find some hot star in a movie or FB.

    From yesterday, the Australian Cricketer Maxwell has become my new crush. It is always safe to have celebrity crush than the real life persons who live in the next street :)
     
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  5. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply dear. Yes , u r right. I became conscious about myself, my dress and hairstyle when found noticed by someone. In the past 10 years, from since i have stopped working, I have never seriously thought about all this. In fact when someone especially ladies comes well groomed, just to drop kid at bus stop, I jokingly ask them why to dress up when no one to watch us other than the usual shopkeepers and cab/auto drivers.

    I never wanted to be noticed by anyone. Many a times i would just rush out to the stop wearing my home dress, may not have even combed my hair and i would be looking like i have run a marathon before reaching there, thanks to my daughter for her speedy actions in getting ready to school. Bus stop is just 100 metres away from my society. So i didnt do anything to get noticed.

    Anyways, I am going to put on a serious face and try to scare him. Lol. Hope he just wants me to be, not a stranger anymore, as kids go to same school and we stay nearby , so may bump into each other in future too.

    Celebrity crushes are fine. We dont have to deal with them as we dont keep thinking about them once they are out of sight.

    N yes this guy's presence prompted me to dress up properly for future too. We ladies are noticed no matter however messed up we look.
     
  6. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Just say hello and break the ice. He’s probably trying to be friendly and it comes off as awkward because in India we are not used to talking to married men casually in these settings.
     
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  7. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    An update or realisation to be precise.

    Second semester has started but i haven't seen him yet as his mother comes to pick and drop the child. But anyways I was feeling nervous about the thought of looking at him. Yesterday I realised the reason and hopefully I should be ok with him henceforth.
    As i said earlier he and me both are not that great good looking talkative type people to keep staring or noticing so much to make the other person uncomfortable. It all began from October. Till then i never noticed him. There are usually 5 to 6 parents/caretaker at the stop. He is the first to arrive, second me and then others, most of the days. One day as soon as me and my child stepped out of the gate my child said she has forgotten a book. I was hesitant to go back but she pleaded me to get it from home. I had seen that this guy was there at the stop a little far away, so I told my daughter to wait wherever she was and I ran back to get the book. In the meantine 3rd and 4th parent came. 3rd parent asked my kid, how come your mother left you alone today. Bus arrived and almost at the same time I too came running with the book fuming in anger at my daughter for not keeping books as per need. I had left my kid there because he was there to watch over. He is little strict type, so when he comes to drop, his child would stay just next to him and not mingle with other kids. Though it was not said, I would not have left her alone otherwise. But I didn't acknowledge it. He too must have realized that and thats why the attempt to be noticed.
    I hope that this should be the reason and not any attraction amongst people with graying hair. But i thank God for getting me realization or remembering that incident to be normal again in front of him.
     
  8. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Its been more than 3 months but the crushy feeling is still there. However, I have seen him only 3 to4 times after that day, and never deliberately made eye contact during that time. And actually I wont be able to hide my smile if eyes met each other. I get butterflies in my stomach just with his presence around, forget saying hi to him. I just pray that i dont have to see him. He is so strict that no one actually talks to him and viceversa , ladies or gents in the parents circle waiting at the stop. I have spoken/can speak to other father parents easily but not with this one. May be he is shy or an introvert..but i have heard him shouting on someone over the phone. From my intuition, I can say that he is also having some interest but worried about" log kya kahenge". He is not even good looking and really i feel like a fool. May be if i look at him properly all butterflies will disappear but dont have the guts.Lol. i dont understand how could i feel like this.
     
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    As the third month mark has been crossed, it is time to stary worrying at least a little.

    mountains.png
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    This reminds me amar prem Rajesh Khanna

     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2024

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