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Covid Crisis And Insenstivities

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Goahead, May 3, 2021.

  1. Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    Ok so my husband has always been a mammas boy and he has Always kept his parents and family first in all these 15 years. He always makes a big deal about his parents health and whenever I would bring my parents health topic somehow they are always made healthy despite’s their old age of 65-70 . My I laws are 65-75 so he always makes his parents as more prune to health issues versus mine are considered 5 yearly healthier than them. I always had disagreements with him about this topic as I always
    Felt that who knows whose parents will go forst .. mine are 5 years younger but honestly it’s just 5 years and not much .

    now during this horrendous covid times he’s being very insensitive as usual. I’m sick worried for all the families and whoever he talks he always says “I’m really worried for my parents” this makes me so uncomfortable that even at this time you are just worried about your own parents and can atleast say that I’m worried for our parents but no he has said that 2-3 times for now . I have issues with husband and he always had this mean nature where he cares only about his side of the family and has no regards by himself for my side . I always had to remind him and fight for my family . But this time also in these tough times he always says I’m worried about my parents

    I dnt want to correct him because i have been doing that for 15 years and there is only very slight change in him .

    Is there any other way to realize him that he’s been mean and make him taste his own self ? I can also very easily start saying I’m
    Worried about my parents all the time . Is there a better way to handle this ?
     
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  2. AppuMom

    AppuMom Gold IL'ite

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    Everytime this topic comes ,tell I am worried about my parents ..pause for few seconds and continue saying and your parents too.
    Ignore his comments...Covid has made many people go off radar..
     
    Rihana likes this.
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You know his nature for years. Why are you having expectations and letting it affect you now? Just nod hmm-hmm when he mentions his parents. You quietly make sure you are doing what is needed for your own parents.
     
  4. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @MalStrom has nailed it! That is the only approach possible. Any amount of explaining to get your point across will not yield any result expected, as it the basic nature here - not only insensitive but pure lack of empathy. I am faced with similar situation not only towards my parents/siblings earlier but even to anyone particularly close to me but not in his circle of acquaintances. However even now , it is very depressing that I cant do anything about it and arguing is waste of energy , as there is no guilt or feeling of wrong doing/thinking on his part.
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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  6. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    He has no empathy. That is his reality. Accept it. You can never teach him that. They just cant decipher empathy. It is was and will always be about them only. There are people who willfully run over a dog on road because breaking is inconvinient for them.

    Now that you know its your choice whether to waste , or not to waste your life explaining him.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2021
    joylokhi, KashmirFlower and MalStrom like this.
  7. Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you and yes I agree but it hurts a lot . I want to give him a taste of his own lesson as well .
     
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  8. Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    He is very sensitive to a lot of people but to my family there is this competition . I hate it and dnt know how to handle it as well. I get super angry and feel that he makes me do everything for this family but he has almost zero responsibility towards mine
     
  9. Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    Totally my situation for 15 years . And he and his family think that they are very nice people and always good to others . Initially I used to hate I laws and now I hate him as well because he is also the same just like them .
     
  10. Goahead

    Goahead Silver IL'ite

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    I
    wonder if there is anything that can be done to realize his mistake or if I can do something similar to him
     

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