Cousin closer than I am to my hubby !

Problematic, I feel you should have put this information in your very first post, instead of mentioning just phone calls and bunny rabbits. Definitely now it's clear where your insecurity and pain comes from. But since my words hurt you, I won't offer any further comments, other than to wish you best of luck, and hope the other ladies can provide you with the advice you are looking for.

 

Dear ,

Yes, There is definitely something wrong with your hubby and her.I am saying this because any person will put a fullstop to such relations when he/she sees that his/her spouse goes to an extend of committing suicide.But he still continues the reln which says that something is not right.And this girl is his "muraiponnu"(reln whom you can get married with) also.Such relations are generally delicate.Call me old -fashioned but that is how it is.

It is understandable that you have given the self help book out of anger.Control your anger and emotions as you will repent for it later and it could do permanent damage too.

If you want to save your marriage be more approachable and lovable with your hubby.Do not give importance to that lady.Probably you can suggest her to get married soon.But focus on your life and make your hubby realise your importance.

 

hi problematic

what ur dh and she doing is totally totally wrong. u mentioned his "cousin". so at first it looked like she was a sister to him. but now it is clear that she isnt. how is her relationship with her husband? you have a right to be angry and upset and everyone will get upset in such a situation. how is her relationship with her husband? giving a gift of earrrings or something WITHOUT the knowledge of wife to anyone orther than own sibling or parents is wrong. it is equal to cheating. i totally get ur point? it seems surprising that ur husband didnt change after ur drastic step!!! ur husband has any siblings? how do they feel about her? why dont u bring this issue up with her husband? then may be he will control her!!! does she know about ur suicide attempt? if she knows about that and she still didnt change???? i have a friend who was in love with her cousin before her marriage. they both loved each other very much. but some problems came before marriage between the familiies and she had to marry some other guy. her husband came to know about what happened before her marriage. but she and her cousin are not much in touch now. just a hi and bye if they meet in parties etc. she loves her husband very much. that guy too is married her loves his wife very much. they both are happy with their lives. when there a sensitive issue like this in between two people, it is always better to stay away after marriage.

mrudula

 

problematic,

Is your husband still in touch with his cousin even after all these episodes.If you could take more time and post clearly before and after and current episodes then members will understand the existing problem and try to give ideas.

 

You didn't give the detail in your first post which made most of the ILites to think that you are possessive. Your hubby's behavior sure looks suspicious. Do you live close to where his cousin lives? Can you convince him to move to a place farther from where his cousin lives now? Physical proximity will nurture their relationship. If you live far away from her, it will at least help to some extent. Don't expect immediate results. It is going to take a long time to make your hubby forget her. But please don't take poison in any case, it is not going to solve the problem, it will only help your husband and his cousin.

 

Oh my God. Just please grow up.

 

hello problematic
pls dont feel down.
as srividhya told u pls control ur anger &
try to act in front of ur hubby. dont even show him that ur anxiety or otherwise there is a chance of telling that u r jealous as some of the ilites told.
"out of sight - out of mind"
please change the place. cut the contacts. do u've any children didnt mention any. if u dont have then go in for the child. usually these men become totally attached only when the wife bears his baby. it'll surely increase ur closeness. give abundant love u r sure to receive them doubly.
-vinnyvishy

 

I can fully understand what you are going thro,Problematic.

Why dont you confront her directly and have a frank talk-sometimes it helps...

Discus this matter with some one whom both you and your husband respect- maybe that person can din some sense into him.

Whatever it maybe-suicide attempt is not worth it-NEVER attempt it again.