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Correct Age To Keep Children Stay Alone

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by dhivyacc, Jun 25, 2018.

  1. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    Am a full time working woman.
    my spouse too (he commutes long distance around 30 kms
    we have two children - 5th and 1st std
    when can they stay at home independent of us. thoughts please. No offense.

    Am sick of having maids and in-house maids - somehow or other it creates issues either to the children, me.
    parents and inlaws are in home town and they cant come and stay for long time
     
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  2. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    5th grader must be 10/11 years old I guess, if he was an only kid, then it maybe possible. The problem I see here is a first grader. Too young to be left alone with a 10 year old, as the older one is still a kid themself. I see some moms leaving these younger siblings with 4th/5th graders out to play in the evenings. N it's a disaster. The younger ones are hard to control n these bigger kids struggle. It's a hard thing to see. So can't imagine being in a home alone situation with a younger sibling like that.

    I would suggest to wait for another few years for the first grader to grow up more.
    Till then you can try planning their schedule n enroll them in classes. So if the kids are home by 4 n you are back by 6, you just need to keep them engaged for 2 hours.

    You can get a tuition teacher that can come home for 2 hours to teach both the kids, help with homework, or fix a maid to pick them up from the school or bus, feed, change n drop n pick from any classes close to home, these options may give you better control rather than an in house maid or just baby sitting at home.
     
  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I think that 8th and 3rd grade will be ok to leave alone. You should wait 2 more years.
     
    BhumiBabe likes this.
  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I think they are too young to be left alone.
    My personal opinion.
    Someone has to be there to pick them from bus stop, give some tiffin and supervise studies and for safety purpose till one parent reaches home.
    By the way can u pls tell me what problems u face with maids?
    If u don't mind sharing, it may help those who are in similar situation. My friend has school going kid in middle school she is thinking of making arrangement with maid to look after him she comes back late from work, if u tell me pros n cons it may help her.
     
  5. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Op, As much as kids are more mature nowadays, leaving them alone is asking for trouble. Be it any age. Children need a grounding factor at home. Somebody who will be waiting for them to come back and look into them like how was their day, give them snacks. Ensure they freshen up , get them some play time and back to studies. Somebody to say how are they feeling. Seeing how times are changing, until 18 definite no no to kids being by themselves. Good Luck.
     
  6. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for all the opinions, i feel bit relaxed now.

    Maid issues are something which cant be controlled.
    My spouse lived in a village and they don't have any exposure to maids so his parenting style is something different. so his expectation towards maid and mine is totally different. this is one point.

    second is managing in-house maids is really a critical thing. if i tel something to my children, they took for them and misunderstanding begins.

    since there is no much exposure to our lifestyle,she too struggles lot - like the way we cook , keep things, arranging children toys etc each and everything creates misunderstanding among children,sopouse and maid -which inturn turns out a big fight at home.

    i changed the persons, i made them stay at daycare for some days. i told my spouse too.. but could not ask everyone to adjust because each one having their own justifications.
     
  7. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    my spouse is of type like girls are less and women are very low than men.
    he actually fights lot.. lot of misunderstandings. per month only 2 litre oil, and it should not be over and there should be some extra for next month.

    fish means , uncleaned ones only will come home. my maid says if he spends 50 , they will clean and give. such a kanjus etc.

    so maintaining and managing these kinds of stuff and the fights in daily basis becoming headache for me.
    he never minds maid is there inside, but uses bad words and shouts , he feels that am not responsible.
    so i stopped asking that lady to cook..

    -her duty is to clean the house , cut veggies, dry and fold clothes(washing machine is there to wash), evening some snack+milk for children..

    i too dont know where am missing
     

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