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confusing and depressed

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by JayaJ, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. JayaJ

    JayaJ Senior IL'ite

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    Dear all,

    I have a very strange prob but its becoming serious.
    my marriage is 4 years old and i have a 2 year old daughter.
    before and during my pregnancy my husband and i shared a very active sex life, esp during my preg. after delivery, i dont feel any kind of sexual attraction at all with my husband. Initially we both thot it was post martum depression..but now, since its 2 years, i feel its more than that. i dont get turned on and find excuses to avoid his touch. i dont like it when he hugs me even. I love him a lot. I miss him terribly when he travels and just count the minutes and days when hes away, waiting fro him to come back but i dont like his touch anymore. our sex life is suffering and i dunno why....
    has any1 faced the same problem? please help!
     
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  2. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Jaya,
    Why dont you talk to your husband about it.maybe he can change his way of doing things.May be you are just stressed out by looking after your baby and working at home etc. It is a big responsibility.Why dont you plan a vacation somewhere so yopu have time with your husband and your mind will be diverted. You should spend time alone and do things you like doing for yourself. That will help you destress a bit. Dont worry about it too much, passing phase and will be over soon. May be it is good in a way if you feel so, your pleasures will be enhanced once things are smooth.
     
  3. malarvp

    malarvp New IL'ite

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    Hi Jaya,

    theres nothing to be worried much. happens to women at all ages. and especially after post delivery. I have a friend who forgets the name of simple cook items after her delivery and still continues and her daughter is going to be 2. also you should be stressed looking after your baby especially if you are the only one taking care, also if you are working. So don't worry abt that. have a talk with your husband, explain him how u feel and tell him you would be ok soon. if you only doing all house chores, explain him you are getting stressed due to all house chores and running around the kid. get his help and make the house chores a fun part. if possible leave your kid with your mother or in-law for a day and take that time to be with your husband, you 2 only. refresh your memory with your honeymoon days and early marriage days, talk about that....with all these happening you should be refreshed back to normal.

    tk care,
    Malar

     
  4. latamurali

    latamurali Gold IL'ite

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    Hai jaya

    jus dstop worrying, nothing there to worry, BE CHEERFUL

    i also go with words of priya and malar, they are absolutely right, try to start implementing their words,but i would like to tellu, sex life is also very much important in life it increase ur intimacy,friendliness and rights with ur hubby
    dont get confused that something has happend to u, be happy, go for vacation, WHERE U CAN SPEND WHOLETIME WITH UR HUBBY(IF POSSIBLE,TRY TO LEAVE UR KID WITH ELDERS), but even u can manage with the kid, sincehe is tooo...young)

    LATAMURALI
     
  5. JayaJ

    JayaJ Senior IL'ite

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    Dear all,
    thank you for your support and understanding.
    i love my husband dearly. i cannot manage without him. Considering ours is a love marriage, we had to fight all odds to complete 4 years of good marriage.
    i am a working mother. just started to work about 6 months ago. my husband helps me around the house - a lot! infact, when we didnt have a maid, he used to wash vessels, clean our daughters milk bottles, cook and clean..so does help me around the house....he takes care of our daughter also, he feeds her plays with her......so its not stress abt hosuework or daughter.

    mayb u gals are right abt it being lack of quality time. i realised we hardly spend quality time together - just the 2 of us. i am always worried abt my daughter. my husband has also mentioned number of times that my daughter comes first before him these days, without directly telling me that i am neglecting him....

    mayb i need to stop focussing completely on my daughter and focus on him too. mayb this is the solution - spending quality time and reviving memories of us together before marriage or before our daughter came along.

    thanks a bunch gals! appreciate your support.
     
  6. Didka

    Didka New IL'ite

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    Dear JayaJ,
    It is very much normal that your daughter comes on first place. Don't feel bad about this. Try really to find time only for you both. And one more thing sometimes lack of sexual desire is caused by hormonal dis balance. Just for save side you can check levels of our thyroid and fertility hormones. It can come die the pregnancy or due the stress.
     
  7. Chaithanya

    Chaithanya New IL'ite

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    you got a good one.... give your best , you can . Its matter of time and right atmosphere. aha made him love you so much to get married then why not now..... Keep going<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" /><v:shapetype id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"> :thumbsup </v:shapetype>



     
  8. Anamika29

    Anamika29 New IL'ite

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    Hi, i've been reading all the good advice from the others and i want to add one that i've learnd with my own experience: take good care of yourself; if we are not feeling well. we can't feel sexy and so we run from the situation. It is very easy to neglet ourselves: because we are always taking care of kids, family and house. Take some hour of every day to take care of you, your beauty, your clothes, etc. Feel your power.
     
  9. gisjul

    gisjul Senior IL'ite

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    i guess ur child is now in a growing age. maybe sometimes you and your hubby should go alone for movies and try to spend more time with each other cause even when your child grows up big finally it is ur hubby who will be with you even in old age ..
    Dont let your romance fade away..there's a long way to go for you in life
    speak with him and find out your fantasies and desires.
    Gis-L
     

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