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confused sad,depressed

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by 27csweetangel, Jul 15, 2010.

  1. 27csweetangel

    27csweetangel Silver IL'ite

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    hi,
    all
    I am residing in usa for last 2 years,before that i was working in IT field,i ahd my H1B visa approved when came to usa,but due to demand of high experience was unable to get job so remained on H4 status and had to face lot of humiliation and frustration from everywhere,tried studying on own talked to consultants,tried my best,,but the saddest part is that my hubby still feels i never tried enough for my job and kept blaming me all these time,now after 2 years i finaaly decide to give gre toefl,join college because i still feel i can do it,but my husband still doesnt support me,says that i will not give u financial l support only because he doesnt feel "confident" about me anymore ..i am not able to study because of this.. feel very helpess,some frnds took some cash jobs on h4tried that also but no luck,,please help.i feel i am loosing myself
     
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  2. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    In this market,its very difficult to get a job without any education here in the U.S.ABout 8 years ago..it was comparatively easy to get a job without U.S education.One of my cousin got through like that....but now,its not easy.Another cousin of mine sat like that for sometime and is finally doing MBA in some xyz school.If your husband cannot invest in anything,he should not expect anything.
    Dont get depressed...its not ur fault...tell your husband that he should fund your education.If he cant....then try taking some jobs in grocery stores,do ur gre,get a good score and start applying.Show your husband some positiveness instead of sulking.He will see that you are determined to make it.good luck!:thumbsup
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Point here is to study in US you need some basic amount..not the whole amount tahts what I gathered from my followup with some universities.

    You need amount to pay for your GRE & TOEFL EXAM and then to apply the score to universities, i.e hte application fee etc, but if you are able to secure a seat in a university, if you are enrolling for fulltime, you are eligible for some scholarship and for some loan..meanwhile all Fulltime students are eligible to apply for campus jobs, so you can try one..I know all this sounds too difficult now, but you have to start thinking about taking one step at a time..Dont look at the end result and whether you can run the 5 Mile run or not...start running first of all even before you think about the total miles.

    Prepare for your GRE you have lot of resources online. Go to library get some books and study well. For exam fee, am sure if he sees you studying hard, he would givein...butfirst of all you have to confident about your preparation. So work on that. Seems like you are lacking self confidence thats the basic grey area here. So work on your confidence levels first. Whatever you do , be convinced that you will do your best and work at it. good luck
     
  4. 27csweetangel

    27csweetangel Silver IL'ite

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    thanks,rose and srividya for your help,i am really motivated to aleast complete my exams..you are right about funds i should not be thinking this early..i dont want to be guilty in future thinking that i had so much time and i culd hve atleast tried once.. so thanks ladies.
     
  5. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    send me your actual resume, your actual dates of jobs(start end), actual dates of college final exams etc, I will give you some hints to chase the current job market, if you are REALLY having the confidence that if you get to the point of interview, you can get the job. You may choose to remove any information that is confidential from your resume and give me the dry information, I will give you the hints how to push your profile up while the recruiters are shortlisting the profiles. Dont be down, you need to push yourself two steps, when this world is pulling a step backwards. Just list down the positive possibilities in front of you and keep working on them.:thumbsup
     
  6. 27csweetangel

    27csweetangel Silver IL'ite

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    okay thanks srheesri,can i have your email add so that i can mail my resume
     
  7. goodlife

    goodlife New IL'ite

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    Bring back yourself and your confidence,look inwards to God, He is the true source for everything positive, then no one can bring you down,not even yourself. As for your career, keep trying and never give up, in the mean time, see if you can get a side job, working few hours a week, will give you back your confidence, but try to be focused.
    And as far as your husband is concerned, talk to him, it is not so much that it is you, it just the competition and the situation you are facing.


    All the best.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 15, 2010
  8. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    What according to you is marriage? Is marriage all about H1, H4, GRE, TOEFL, GMATs and so forth? Check whether you are missing something in the bigger picture. Have you set the basics right in your marriage?
     
  9. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    I guess she is feeling as being least accepted because she is not meeting her husbands expectation on the intellect level:bonkbecause she is not able to crack a job interview and now he doubts whether she can crack this entrance test...all doubts
     
  10. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    Interesting Srividhya. If we feel intellectually challenged with the spouse it causes aggression. Good luck to the OP.
     

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