Confessions of a DIL

now change your avatar to a tigress

 

Personally speaking I can think of only dog straps and chains... or enclose a balcony for them...if they highly ferocious types... then I wud prefer to run away to some library or workplace..........

 

this reminds me of an incident... once one of my friends came happily frollicking to my place when mil was in cooker mode(angry) the door was open and she was calling me out by all pet names then when my mil showed her, her face my friend was zapped she advised me to put a board outside beware ils home !

 

Hahaha...Good one that, bubblygal!
Didnt even realize that I was as tame as a deer...and now that you mentioned it,
its high time to reflect that visually as well ;-) ;-) ;-)

 

Wonderful site.It suits my MIL too.

And the golden child was my elder BIL .Now,she has added two more-cosis and her daughter.

Obviously the scape goat is DH and his family.

MIL is pampering the golden child and makes sure that we know about it.Now ,FIL is also following the same attitude.

This is from the site.My God,now it is clear.Some how,MIL managed to create a gap between my second BIL and DH.Till date ,we weren't sure why BIL is not affectionate with us as he used to be.Now,I can guess.

But,how to give it back to such narcissistic persons.

Any sites?

 

Kishoremummy,
In my house, bil and sil are the golden children and we are the scapegoats. No matter what we do , we never win. Bcos she never wants us to. Been through some sites where the solution they give is to cut off ties or maintain strict boundaries. Which I dont know how far we can implement in our cultural scenario. You can simply google and find out and if there is anyway I can make her feel even a little bit of remorse ,pls share with me too...:rant

 

Oh! Outofthebox! Great job.

This whole plate clearing used to get to me too. Especially because it would never be a clean plate. There would be a lot of muck in it. That was my dread when my ILs came home the first time. I don't know what came over me, but as soon as I saw FIL finish, very sweetly, I just said, "Please just leave it in the sink dad - the debris goes in the food waste. No need to wash the plate. I'll put it in the dish washer."

FIL has never taken his plate ever before. But he was taken aback and he did. After DH left, MIL tried to make it an issue. I looked really surprised and said, "Oh! I never thought he wouldn't take the plate away. Everyone does that here. Anyway he had to go to the sink to wash his hands, so I thought... It never occurred to me." At which point, FIL intervened and said, "Let her be. She didn't do anything wrong. It's right here. What's wrong if I do it?"

It was sooooo gratifying.

 

Her biggest Guru Dakshina is that her student is an inspiration to others here... LOL

 

yes, home environment goes for a toss that has a negative impact on the kids. very true. But what also has a negative impact on kids is that you don't stand up for yourself. what will the kids learn? be a doormat. The world is already ruthless, think about the future.

doesn't Dh ever support you? how do you oppose what you don't like? use diplomacy.

i had alwways been a straightforward person - state my opinion to the face. After marriage that person is nowhere to be found. I have lost myself. is that something I am happy about? No! I have no choice. My MIL is a manipulative person and does eveything underhanded.

either I become like her .. manipulative cunning c**p or cut off all contact. communcation. what I did? chose a little of both. I couldn't cut her off completely(DH's mom afterall) but didn't want to stoop too much to her level.

kept minimum contact, of course about that she b*****s to all and sundry and I don't care.

And where I know, I need to get stuff done my way - I used tact. lost some of my innocence, but that is the price some of us have to pay

 

i like this thread