Concerned with getting away from abusive husband or mother

I live in NJ and I have been married for 14 years now with 2 lovely boys. My husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive right from the beginning. It was an arranged marriage. Even the kids were not spared. I have gone through many days of loneliness, fights, frights and helplessness - absolutely felt pathetic. I was working also on top of the hardships. He would not help with anything, and all he cared was to play tennis and badminton. Very rarely he is good and it has stumped me many times that an abuser can be good at times. He absolutely hates my mother. She was the one who discovered his abusive behaviour.


Because of the very bad situation at home, I decided to put my boys in boarding school in India. Somehow convinced husband and agreed. Using this as a chance to get away from him, stayed in India for 3 years with kids. We have been visiting him during Indian summer holidays. 4th year, I came back to NJ and started to work again. When the kids would come for their holidays, I called my mother to help me taking care of them. Everytime, this husband would flare up and his abuse resurfaces. This past fall, things did not go very well and he indirectly told my mother to get out of the house. Me, the kids were so scared that we locked ourselves up in a room.


His parents are totally controlling him and although MIL doesn't directly say anything most of the times, she would give an analogy which this guy can pick up and thrusts upon me. This December, I decided to go to India again saying enough is enough. My parents are supportive and they are asking to just come leaving him. He threatened me many ways, but I didn't budge in. Finally, he was pleading and said he has no life here w/o me and kids and said he would try for jobs in India for the move. I agreed, but I am still confused. When I told my mother, she got so upset that she didn't even want to talk to me anymore. She says the kids are going to abused again. I don't know what to do. Am I right in giving my husband another chance ?


I have been sharing whatever happens with my mother who must have been very worried now to let me & kids live with such a person. Now, its also that she has seen me. Only my mother has been morally supportive and its with her that I shared my deepest feelings. She has told every relatives in India about our condition here. I think she has concluded that I am not strong enough and cannot handle the situation here (with kids). On top of that, MIL is planning to visit for a month. I am petrified now.


I have been gullible, soft and submissive which had added fuel to his abusive behaviour. Sometimes I feel like running away from everyone taking the kids with me.

 

In India, I have my parents. If he talks bad, I can just walk off and stay with my parents. Kids being away is good for them.