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Competetive and Jealous SIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by soccermom, Jan 16, 2008.

  1. soccermom

    soccermom New IL'ite

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    Hi folks just read a thread abt a horrible SIL and I have a lousy SIL too - another 'SIl from hell" - got to thinking wht's happening around us, do any of you have horrible SILs also?
    Why cant they be more like sisters & less competitive - always taking up issues on their parents behalf?

    Also I find that these lousy SILs are ultra competitive - they gey pissed off if you have better dress sense, better looks, better manners, better life - dunno what but there's somehting that irritates them & they get nasty - why????

    Any ideas Gals? Lets share!

    My SIL went to extent of going to my parents house (when I'm not there) with low cut dress (full cleavage showing) - i wasnt there but my mom & sister told me this and to top it off this lousy SIL phones me up TWICE to tell me I hope your parents didnt mind my low-cut top, you know my mother ( her mom,my MIL) says you are so well dressed with salwar-kurta in the house always...blah blah..:evil:
    This really made me mad as I am not a behenji - i wear lots of modern clothes - halter tops, shorts etc but never in front of inlaws in the early days of marriage when I stayed in their house as I wished to be sensitive to them ( they are conservative when it comes to DILs clothes & behaviour) esp while I styaed in their house. Instead of appreciating this my rotten SIL goes to my parents house on her own ( she has no damn business to do so - they didnt invite her & I wasnt even there!) cheaply dressed and then writes to me that she did this and also calls me up twice to prove to me she's so modern & I'm a cow always fully dressed so conservative :evil: :evil:

    Now when I wear hep-clothes ( I dont live with ILs anymore thank god!) she cannot digest it & gets upset and doesnt even have the class to hide her feelings but sits with fat face not even talking to me :x I dunno how she expects my old parents to handle her this behaviour when she cant take being paid in the same coin? Such a :bullshitSil I have!


    What r your thoughts ladies - this ever happen to you...I guess Ignorance is bliss in these cases. Coz in my case tings steadily got to a point where I said enough is enough - there are other dramas as well & this ******** SIL was always out to prove some point or other as she suffers from inferiority complex, so now we dont talk to each other :2thumbsup: ( only DH keeps up the apprearances with her) bonk

    Sorry abt the long rant but it felt good to let that out, OK now lets hear from all you gals out there your thoughts!
    Cheers :cheers
     
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  2. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    Reading your post felt like reading my own SIL and me story. 95% SILs are like that. My FIL has to keeps telling how to dress conservatively to me. But his own daughter goes around the world in jeans and tops. She doesnt dress suggestively . Thank God for that. She is not that good looking . But feels like she is aishwarya rai and me very ugly that she fathoms looking at me. In my in laws place nobody is that good looking. The definition fair is only from me and my MIL. MIL doesnt have good features to go with that. I may not be very good looking but I do stand out as good looking in my husbands family.Anyway I live in US. But my husband has specifically mentioned to me that when ever i am with my in laws i shud be dressed traditionally in a saree or chudidar. I do that to keep my husband happy. Not that i wud go around wearing shorts in front of my in laws. I am not that stupid. Anyway my SIL when i am there has to parade around in jeans and tops to any and every visit to my parents or going out. She lives in india. But she has to describe US weather to me. Moreover she is always very unhappy when meeting me. When given a chance she keeps telling my husband how i am a mismatch to him. Once i overheard the same on phone and gave her back. Glad I did. She talks to my husband but i keep my distance.She feels like everybody bows down to her in my in laws place,I should also do the same. I didnt do it from before and now she keeps telling my husband to come back.SILs who are like this are very insecure and feel like any girl married to their brothers are a mismatch and keep widening the gap b/n husband and wife .
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2008
  3. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    Hi Ladies,

    Please do not take me wrong. But I feel that dress sense is a very flimsy thing to have a grudge against a SIL. I think you are over reacting. What is the big deal !!!! What is there to be ultra competitive in dressing. There are better things in life to compete.

    Kavya.
     
    sindmani and anika987 like this.
  4. soccermom

    soccermom New IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    Kavya, Guess you arent aware of all my other posts abt the SIL fm hell....so though I would agree with you that JUST "dress sense " is too frivolous an issue to make a big deal of, its coupled with a lot of other unacceptable behaviour fm SIL which includes some major hostilities & nasty behaviour :( wish it were as simple as just weird dress sense tho' - things would be much easier to deal with, but since I've vented in other posts, guess its too long to repost here, anyway cheers to all you guys who hv been a source of support out there :queen - guess it takes patience to listen to others rants & support them thru it - :cheers
    Oh, by the way, started this thread to share weird stories abt SILs, not just to justify why I cant stand mine - so do share away ladies, letrs get it out however a small deal it is - afterall many snowballs make an avalanche !
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2008
  5. sashie

    sashie New IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    Hi, i really would like to share my experience with you. My Sil (husb's sister) comes over and watches everyhting, she listens, observes and takes it all in, then when she goes back to her place she reports everything to her mom (my MIL). My ils' don;t live here, but sil lives one hour away. my sil is crazy!! and yes she is very competitive, not really for clothes, but for purses, shoes hairdo's etc! Also, she is very whiny with her brother (my husb) she calls and remind him to call their parents, do this, do that, even buy stuff for her son....she is at home all day, i think she has more time then my husb! Also whenver she invites us to her house, she will call her brother on his cell and ask us to come, she never calls my house (to talk to me,a nd ask me!)....but i have to go, otherwise husb blames me! ibonkbonkI am so nice to my bro;s wife, becasue i want to see me brother happy, why can;t my sil do this for her brother ?? i don;t get it ! my mil always says how close her children (my husb and sil) are, but if they were close, they should help each other have a happy life, not contribute to the misery!! my sil trys to play part of mil , she sits and doens;t help, so wants to see/know evrything. well now i know her games, so i keepmy distance, but i am respectful, so husb sees i am trying! good luck ladies!
    sash:iagree
     
  6. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    Dear soccermom,

    I can clearly understand wht u r trying to tell.
    Even I have a sil and guess what i have so many things i want to vent out.

    My Sil has short hair while i have gud long (not v long but decent length) hair.
    So this is a big big constraint in my in laws place.To the extent my MIL started telling me that i look like a village dumbo even if i stay at US.Then she started insisting that i cut my hair.:eek:mg: I got so scared!!! Every time I comb my hair my MIL says come I shall take u now and get ur hair cut.I was scared the hell out...
    Coming to clothes....this is such a stupid incident being made a big big issue at my in laws place.I am for the first time telling this to anybody.
    My SIL had given me few of her used old clothes for me to use.Few were even smelling of sweat.So i returned them,for this such a scene was created at my in laws place,girls u wont believe it.
    My mil screaming that i have insulted her daughter and her by returning the used clothes (should it not be the other way round.common sense says she insulted me by giving her used clothes).
    I was so shocked by these experiences that till now i am not out of itshakehead
    This is my side of the story.
    Friends i am just venting out and am not trying to offend anybody nor trying to debate ...:wave:
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2008
  7. Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !


    Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. So what if she thinks she's Aishwarya Rai? I hate this desi mentality that you HAVE to be fair to be considered beautiful. Not true. As long as she is not parading around naked, you shouldn't be saying / thinking anything. At least she's not wearing revealing / suggestive clothes like soccermom's SIL - there's nothing wrong in parading around in jeans & T-shirt.

    Now, you definitely have a problem when it comes to your FIL lecturing to you. But if you live in the US, why do you care? Let the old man blabber on... turn off your ears and let his preachings fall on deaf ones. I definitely agree that you should blast your SIL if she bitches about you to her brother but you can't judge how she dresses / thinks / acts if that doesn't affect you.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2008
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  8. Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    In a nutshell, my SIL (husband's sister) is a know-it-all who does not KNOW when to keep her mouth shut and when to open it. Enough said!
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2008
  9. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    First of all let me tell you,I do not consider being fair as beautiful. And being dark as ugly. I feel a person can be good looking without being fair. Coming to my SIL ,let me clarify,she can parade around in jeans and tops . But when i do it in my parents house or in photos sent from here to India,she has to prove i am a dimwit and blast her brother for that. She makes it a point to prove in every meeting that i dont deserve anything i am getting. I dont care for her dress sense if not for double standards. She and my Fil has to show me and tell me to dress conservatively when in india or here. If left to their choice i shud be always having my hair full of oil and in faded clothes .their only concern is my husband is supposed to detest looking at me all the time and they enjoy the show. When meeting elders my fil has loads of advice on how to dress even to dils(hate fils doing it)but when it comes to daughter he doesnt say anything if she meets my parents or any elders in jeans. You know to keep my husband's words even when i have come to US from India in cold snowy months i wear salwar kameez and 2-3 sweaters.
    She has also many times tried to nearly end my marriage after talking to my husband. It doesnt start or end with jeans or tops.
     
  10. Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    Well, since you said that the definition "fair" applies only to you & MIL, it certainly seemed as if you were ridiculing her for being dark complexioned. I objected to that.

    Yes, your SIL & FIL are paragons of double standards. Why don't you just ask them straight out about why your SIL is parading around in jeans & T-shitrt when they are preaching to YOU how to dress? I have learned to question my inlaws' BS as and when they occur and it shuts them up. If you question this double standards once, then I can guarantee you that it won't happen again.

    Moreover, you are clearly emerging the winner here because you are still married to her brother despite her dim-witted efforts to ruin your marriage. You are having the last laugh, after all!
     
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