"Cognitive Bias on Sexual Mind Reading" - Have you ever faced it in men around you ?

I landed up in a research paper, on “cognitive bias on sexual mind reading”, by chance. But, it happened to an extremely interesting stuff. Then, I searched on further material on it and read it fully. You also can google with the above (blue) search words and reach the material.

In simple terms, let me explain what that bias is : A woman is moving little friendly with a male acquaintance of her, either her husband’s friend or colleague, or her brother’s friend…………or any other male acquaintance at office etc, She talks with him often , discusses her work related issues with him, simply because he finds him decent and trustworthy. She has nothing other than a mere platonial (non-sexual) friendship with him, on her mind…………just similar to what she has with her girlfriend. But, that man misinterprets her platonial interactions with him, as ‘high sexual interest’ in him. Assuming so, he starts making verbal advances to her. He also starts sending courtship gestures to her, in body language also. Later, he sends suggestive smses. The woman gets bewildered and scared. Now, not knowing how to stop the advances, the woman feels threatened. Finally she discloses that man’s advances to her hubby………..the story goes on like this.

Clinical Psychologists term the above said male acquintance’s over – inferring of the woman’s normal interaction with him, as a ‘high sexual interest’ on him, as an adaptive behavior rather than an irrational one.

Reading the above paper, first thing, I asked my female colleagues (with whom I can comfortably talk this stuff) whether they have ever faced this bias from a male acquaintance of them. To my surprise, all of them flatly denied, ever having encountered such a situation from any man. I doubt the honesty of their answers. Because, if they said, “yes”, naturally, my next question would have been, “who are those men?”. Fearing this second question, they probably , out rightly said, they never faced such a situation.

But, this Website being an anonymous one, where we do not and can not know each other’s real identity, I think, I can ask the members………how often you have faced the above said situation with a male acquaintance of you………..and how often it went to the extent of, possibly, messing up your married life.

Two Foot Note points :-

1) I agree, that no such behavior , as the above, can be generalized to the whole gender of men. Certainly, not all men behave the above way.

2) Request to the Moderator :- I exactly do not know where to start the above thread. Hence, chose this section of “Married Life”. In my perception, it has some relevance to married life. However, if you feel, it is not a thread, relevant to this section, you can move this thread to the section, which you feel relevant. Thanks.

 

Re: "Cognitive Bias on Sexual Mind Reading" - Have you ever faced it in men around yo

Hi Riya,

What you said above is true. Every woman has the instinct to realise that the man opposite to her is making advances to her. That is why she cuts it off.

The instances 1 and 2 you quoted in your post are clearly evidences of 'cognitive bias in sexual mind reading'.

But the instance 3 is a different one, because, you too got attracted to him. Instance 3, as you mentioned is beyond the purview of what we are talking here. It is an affair in beginning, which you consciously took efforts to nip in bud. Anyhow, I sincerely appreciate your honesty and courage in admitting it. . Very few women admit it so courageously, as you did it here.

 

Re: "Cognitive Bias on Sexual Mind Reading" - Have you ever faced it in men around yo

Hi zzz,

It is true, when a man mistenly assumes a woman's friendliness as 'high sexual interest' and makes advances to her, a part of the community around her, blames her.

 

Re: "Cognitive Bias on Sexual Mind Reading" - Have you ever faced it in men around yo

Okay, fine, Hemalatha. He was a co-worker ? (tell it if you are comfortable, or else, you can leave it)

 

Re: "Cognitive Bias on Sexual Mind Reading" - Have you ever faced it in men around yo

Hi Tashi,


Thanks for the above information.

 

Re: "Cognitive Bias on Sexual Mind Reading" - Have you ever faced it in men around yo

Hi Riya, Zzzz, Hemalatha & Tashi,

Thanks for your above contributions....to the instances where you were in a Man's above said bias towards you.

I was expecting, either of the four of you, would have asked, "Okay IG, tell us, how often / have you ever developed this bias in sexual mind reading towards any lady in your workplace or community nearby ?" . I thought, if some one has asked this, I would have shared , the other side of the story with you four. That is, an instance of how a man can so quickly develop this bias to a woman acquintance of him in work place or in social circle.

But, to my surprise, you all kept quiet. It seems, it is not a matter of your curiosity, hence, I chose not to share how , as a man, I was into this Bias, towards some women acquintances of me......and how it affected their interactions with me.