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Co-sis Is Here, And I Am Nervous Already

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by SGBV, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Of course the above is true. Guests are supposed to be appreciative of the effort hosts put in. And make every possible effort to lessen the burden on the hosts. More so, if it is family. For the duration of the stay, be like family, and not guests. Now, this lady seems to not be aware of these basic manners and consideration that guests should have. It is her in-laws' house. So, the duty of taking her to task falls on her husband.

    Similarly, if a man were acting up in his in-laws' house, the woman should take him aside and give him a stern talking to.

    Too much connecting the dots. You have an amicable relationship with her. She is not staying in your house, it is only dinner (correct?). So, an event of about 3-4 hours. You are imagining all dire possibilities and worrying about them. Surely you are experienced enough with all these in-laws' hassles to know that just do your bit, and leave it at that? Cook what you can, serve it well, your house is anyway always ready for guests. Done?

    Discussing the event with hubby after it is over is one thing.. talking about who said what, who didn't say what.. as you clear up the kitchen and generally pick up things around the house late into the night. But, you are making it a point of discussion with hubby before the event (not planning the menu, but anticipating bad behavior from co-sis), getting compliments from hubby, and above all - already imagining that it will become a 'matter', a matter with 'sides', and hubby and PILs will side with you...So much angst in the head... skip the dinner!
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2017
    Dishaa, blessings1010, SGBV and 3 others like this.
  2. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    You must have already dealt with difficult ppl in life. What if a project in office has such difficult ppl? Do u back off or plan to do your best to get the job done??
    On a serious note, i wish i have qualities of your co-sis. She sure is terrorizing everyone around including you SGBV who has achieved soo much in personal and professional life.
    SGBV and blissofmylife like this.
  3. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow. The great SGBV scared of her co sister.
    If she appreciate your food or even keeps quiet,it's good.
    If she criticize your food,stay away from her.
    SGBV likes this.
  4. Sunburst

    Sunburst Platinum IL'ite

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    MILS are fun ,isn't it ? They love to talk..errrr ...I mean gossip. Since you have already connected the dots based on some hearsay , I am sure your Co sis also must have made her impression about you based on some hearsay ? So you both have already have made assumptions about each other and with that comes mental block which is all based on what something said . The problem in most cases is this impression and judgment we make about the other person without knowing the facts . Maybe things are not as bad as it seems in your head ?

    Relax! It just a dinner , she is not moving into your house for good . By the time you serve dinner , eat and talk it will be all over . You don't have to be super friendly but I am sure you are matured enough to keep things cordial . It's only a matter of few hours and it will go in a blink . You have spent much more time than that thinking about the worse which may not even happen so why lose your peace now. Whether you cook or not cook, clean or not clean, criticisms are bound to happen either way so why lose your mind thinking about it . Do what you are comfortable with and ignore the rest .
    Dishaa and blissofmylife like this.
  5. blissofmylife

    blissofmylife Silver IL'ite

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    How do you know, she was happy with her stay in South India? Was it a first had account of her experience?
    Or something that seeped through multiple channels?

    Her complains about these generic items, still look valid to me, from her perspective and may have nothing to do with her attitude after all.

    That's good. Looks like this girl, really knows, how to assert her rights and draw boundaries.

    But you said, she likes your posts on Instagram. Any specific reason, why you prefer closeness on Whats app group more than Instagram? To me, its all the same.

    She has never really been mean to you, so in my opinion, you should stop assuming and be open minded towards her.

    If she was OK with you, why call her "Head Weight"?

    Interesting, can we know what that advice was?

    Well she is living with them, so what is acceptable to her or not, should be left to her. She hasn't misbehaved with you. So don't bother about what she is doing with others. Do not judge her over that.

    Another example of her nice behavior.

    Cooking is not a competition. Why do you have to be the best anyways? If people appreciate it, take the compliment. If people criticize, if you deem it fit, take the feedback positively. If not ignore it and move on.

    The problem is in your head. You have made an assumption about this girls behavior based on others remarks, instead of taking your personal experiences into account. Like Rihanna has suggested, if you can accept this girl with an open mind, go for the dinner. Else skip it. No matter how good she may behave, even a slightest remark will prick you.

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