Co-sis coming soon-want to give her some feedback.Should i?

Hi Hun you are too kind of a lady. Stay out of this mess, she is already twisting and adding salt and pepper to your words. I am sure she has friends and family she can confide in. I would tell her that you need a set up a new rule, you can talk about anything except in laws and DH as they are brothers, this topic is off limits in order to protect not only yourself but you as well. I am sure she will stop calling as she does not want to talk about normal day to day things with you. I know how much you want to lend your ear and provide advice but it will back fire on you, you don't want to be in bad books with IL do you. Also she probably could have stayed with her parents with the excuse she wanted to continue her job but she wanted to live with them so she made the mistake and not must pay the consequences. I would not trust her one bit. I would not listen or entertain her complaints. I am telling you this because someone betrayed my trust once and I almost lost my entire family because this person aired out my secrets and thoughts on certain people. From then on I made a promise to myself to never again trust anyone with details on IL etc. Keep it to yourself hun, she can later say Deedi said this, or Deedi told me to do these things. I don't understand what she is so worried about she's moving out of the country soon, it's not like its forever, its a little easier to deal with IL when you know their is an expiry date on it

 

Hi Gauridinesh,

Following are my views:

1.) Be reticent and don't share your thought about any IL member.
Avoid confirming or denying anything to her. Avoid sensitive topics.

2.) For the message (and any such message) where she said that you had insinuated 'anyone who stays 2 months....will go crazy', respond like - "i never said so" or "when did i say so". Don't leave it at that.

3.) Unlike other forum members, I don't think she is scheming or phoney or clever. On the contrary, she is naive, gullible, immature(that is why she shares so much with you from day one), emotionally volatile(that is why she flips-flops, today this step tomorrow the opposite step), fickle-minded (that is why she resigns her job and then in two months starts seeking a new one) and somewhat unprincipled (that is why she grandstands first about what DIL should do and then criticizes later). So, you should be wary of her because she is fickle and immature and thus can put you in embarassing situation, but certainly not because she is fishing for information to implicate you in something.

4.) She is only venting out her grievances to you just as you are venting out at IL forum. If someone tells her about IL forum (certainly not you), she shall stop pestering you and start posting on IL

5.) She is not exactly taunting you, she is just trying to make lofty statements which she cant stand by, may be because she is used to grandstanding as nobody pointed out to her in past that making empty motherhood statements not backed by the actions don't impress much. You will still feel she is taunting you but she is only trying to seek your or maybe everyone else's approbation for her words. She doesn't know that actions speak louder than words and making lofty statements count for naught!

6.) You might like to sympathize with her without getting carried away with anything she says or letting your guard down, but with the limited information I would not come to the conclusion that she is following divide and conquer or is manipulative and shrewd nor would advise you to draw such inferences. She might end up being hurt as she is definitely naive.

So, just wait and watch!

 

You could have said that fatal "All the best". :rotfl