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Child Care During Covid Times

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2016, Mar 21, 2021.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi ladies,

    Need a suggestion..How are you all managing child care during this covid times especially when the creches are closed and we dont have anybody at home to take care of kids?

    I joined back to duty few months back after long child care leave. That has already resulted in me earning the wrath of my superiors (all male) as they just cant empathize with my situation. They are were very unhappy with my long absence and in my institution a very intelligent lady officer had to resign just because she had no support with child care. Some of the employees have arranged for stay in home care takers with cctv installed as both parents would be away at work. It also involves considerable risks as some got corona because of that and the entire family including kid were hospitalized. Now am at loggerheads!

    My H availed wfh and was taking care of my toddler kid (4 yrs) for the past 8 months along with a super stressful job. She keeps him engaged throughout the day and he had to stay awake till 3-4 AM everyday to complete the pending tasks at work. He is completely worked out now and is diagnosed with acute hypertension. He is planning to bring his mom to seek her help with childcare which I have to agree upon to reduce his stress. But am afraid that it will add to my stress!

    How do you ladies (especially working) deal with child care during covid times? How supportive are your inlaws in case they live with you? How do you deal with the associated stress?

    This COVID is adding new dimensions to the existing struggle of today's women. I am unable to go to lab frequently as that is the breeding place for new infections. I had to decline exciting offers, once in lifetime opportunities just because of the fear of travelling overseas. No vacations, picnics and leisure time activities.. Employers want us to work overtime but they are in no mood to open the child care/ day care facilities. Bringing MIL is making me skeptical given the not so good past we share. Its a feeling of helplessness and uncertainty that is just unbearable! Girls, do share how you are all managing..
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2021
    Needtobestrong and iyerviji like this.
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  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh dear..I completely sympathize...many ladies known to me are in same situation...one of my friend brought her in laws who were staying in native, to shift with them as both she and her husband are in fulltime stressful jobs and they have a naughty pre primary school son... but they have an ok relationship so it's fine..
    One of my neighbor is working in public sector job and so is her husband...no work from home options for both..they've no choice but to arrange a cook, maid and babysitter to take care of cooking, chores and baby care...
    Many of my friends are already in joint family with in laws, or have parents coming and staying with them, or have in laws and parents taking turns to stay and look after.. they work from home and squeeze time in between for kids.
    Its damn tough with kids having online classes and being very mischievous due to being cooped up at home...
    Many of my known friends and relatives even planned their second child during lockdown period as they had work from home option, both husband and wife..and some family support and their finances too were good and they could afford additional help...but they had support and wfh that was in their favour...in your case you seem to be in a line of work in which you cannot work from home..
    You can either make some compromise and adjust with your MIL being with you or arrange for a 24*7 help who can help with babysitting and chores. But that would have to be affordable for you and you would have to consider advantages and disadvantages of having a fulltime stay in helper.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2021
    Sweety2016 likes this.
  3. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Also, I'm not saying from personal experience at all..im unemployed and I understand how tough it is to get and sustain a job during such difficult times..pls don't be under pressure to take a career break and regret later..try to make it work somehow.
     
    Sweety2016 likes this.
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    My brother and his family live in Bangalore and they have had their nanny coming since last June. She only took some time off during the initial lockdown. Both the nanny and they are careful about masking, hand washing and other precautions. They are paying for her to take auto instead of traveling in public bus.
     
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  5. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks @Needtobestrong and @MalStrom
    My H has brought MIL from native...with cases increasing in an astronomical pace, the situation is once again pushing me down deeper this time..I pray for each day to pass on and hanging in there with the little hope am left with...
    That one thought that my child is happy and is in safer hands is keeping me going...the daycare near my home ended up being a contamination zone infecting 15 children out of which 3 are in Paed ICU...so my advice to ladies in my situation is to stay calm, seek help from parents or inlaws and emerge out of this situation safely.
    Our kid's safety should be our priority..it's OK if MIL is annoying sometimes, if H is being stupid sometimes or you lose your privacy sometimes...hope we come out of this phase soon:(
     
  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree...its quite irritating for you to adjust with your MIL. But your child is in trusted and safe hands. If you had hired a baby sitter, she would be in close contact with the child and no clue about her whereabouts or contacts after her duty hours.. its very shocking to hear that 15 kids in a single day care were infected and 3 are in paed ICU..
    As of now , human safety and health are important so just put up with annoying husband and MIL...i cant imagine how your husband single handedly managed an active child and a full time Wfh job on his own...it would have been super tiring and stressful and if continued he would have ended up with more serious health issues...anyways you're occupied with work and would spend less time at home.
    My known neighbors are both working in government jobs with no wfh facility..so they have hired a baby sitter to look after the child from morning to evening...but they are feeling helpless as they don't have any choice other than taking such a risk .
     
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  7. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

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    Do not know if my opinion will count or not as I am in US, and bit different situation.

    SO we all are in one situation or another. It is matter of time that we got adjusted.
    It is helps you - good thing in you case, your son is old enough 4 yrs to tell you bathroom or hungry and will play for sometime atleast. For some, kids are in that age of 18 mon - 3 yr, needing attention all the time.
    You have MIL who is willing to come over. Having family member is blessing.
    We have no one to come here.
    Here daycares are open and schools too. My older one is remote so we have to constant monitor the classes, etc.
    Younger one - always need attention or tV. So we give him TV or taking him out then work late or do not work.

    Our nanny came only for some time and life was mess. Now i stopped worrying and learnt to manage and live. I was thinking to put him in daycare, but found out - one of my colleagues in same town, whole family got covid and they got it from family and kid used to go to school, everyone else at home.

    I would say get your MIL and forget about your own problems for smtime, and ignore it. Atleast you will not have to worry about kids care while you are at work and constant looking at nanny cams. You will be able to focus in work when you are at work.
    Some of my friends here, brought there own parents from india for same.

    One thing - many will suggest you to put child in day-care because there kids are going. Some do not send their own to daycare , bring parents for child care or other way ,and suggest you to send , take risk so you can focus.

    As our manager says - do what you think is best for your family. Life is hard for everyone at this point.
    AS long as you are healthy and safe.... there are much more problems outside.
     
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