Cheating On The Spouse

This shows that you are a straight forward person... If you feel to be away from that girl, please do that. It may be her personal choice but cheating on husband or wife is never ever a thing which can be taken. So, you also cannot trust her on anything... But if you feel that her personal choice doesnot affect you, you can continue moving with her. If i would be in your position, this aspect will stop me from moving with her. This is also my personal choice not to move with her. So, you are your own judge.

 

I heard old adage that familiarity breeds contempt. Another one corrected familiarity breeds attempt. Either way too much familiarity ends up in distress or disaster. This is seen often among the neighbours irrespective of their being rich or middle class.

 

It's totally her choice,and you decide to continue or to stop ,
When she was not distrubing you with her personal matters or asking for help in these things and not bringing them in to your meets then no need to think of these much..
If those issues are not distrubing your personal life nothing to think of them als,just say hi and bye if you like her company otherwise maintain a distance...

 

Anika dear,

I think you are too traditional, and it would be better if you could come out of traditional way of thinking to see the world openly.

Our tradition accepts violence. It degrades women, and oppress her life after marriage in many ways.
Yet, we are proud of our tradition.

We have friends/relatives, who have been humiliated, assaulted, oppressed after marriage. We still maintain respectful relationship with their spouse.
We have friends/relatives or even spouse who demanded dowry, demand the brides to be uprooted from her birth place to live at her in laws' place, and do sewa to the in laws by leaving her career prospects. Yet, we respect them, treat them as family/friends without any problems.

But, we become the moral police when a woman chose to live her life on her terms.

I do not agree with the moral of this so called woman, who become intimate with other men while being married. But, I wouldn't judge her for that matter.

Honestly, I have a couple of colleagues who are involved in EMA, and each have a reason behind what they are doing. Either an unsatisfied marriage life, or a traumatic past or whatever, yet they are unable to leave their marriage. Their marriage is already dead, but for the sake of family/society, they are holding into this marriage. They chose to live their life in the dark, and EMA is their only choice. I pity them, but never judge them.
We have no idea what's inside those 4 walls.

 

Cheating of any kind is wrong. That too to her life partner. Its against the basics of marriage if they have a traditional monogamous marriage. But if they agreed on open marriage or doing these with the consent her h its not cheating. If her h do the same and if she ok with it, then you will realise the set up they have. As we dont know whats going on all we can say is that Its her personal choice.

You felt bad because you are a person of integrity, ethics and morality and believes in traditional monogamous marriage.

Its up to you to decide to continue in contact with her. You know her true face, but there are many who keep a nice look outside and do every thing behind their spouse. Cheating in that case is one of the most cruel thing to do when spouse love and trust them blindly. But its not easy to act normal when you know they are doing wrong. So this situation creates a toxic situation to be in for you.If your interaction with her makes you feel bad , its better to maintain distance. Only you can decide whats best for you.

 

Cheating is definitely wrong no matter who whether it is the husband or the wife who is doing it. But in this case do you know anything else like does the husband know and is it an open marriage? Is she doing this because she wants to get back at her cheating husband ? If it is an open marriage or the husband is aware then it's up to them. If any other reason it would have been better to go their separate ways but they know their situation and are staying in the marriage. As far as you are concerned if you feel it's wrong and can't interact with her without these issues cropping up in your mind then better to avoid her unless you know things and feel these thoughts will not crop up

 

Is this the friend who spoke sarcastically about your life in US to some men last week? You were very clear she was presenting wrong picture of you and quite upset. And yet now when she’s telling you about her other friend you accept her version as truth?

Come on! This is just gossip. Gossiping and judging and feeling morally superior may feel right in the moment but it never leads to anything good. You are judging a person without knowing the real details or their life except what this friend told you. I don’t understand the reason for your insecurity or your willingness to believe worst about others but try to take a step back from this situation.

Your India life contains a lot of triggers to your basic original insecurities and I feel again you are slipping back into old patterns. Try to get a grip on yourself and recollect all the good work you did here. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate the India friends critically and cut off the toxic ones like you did here.