Chaddi Banyan

Kamalji · Nov 23, 2015

Chaddi Baniyan

When we were small, we used to ask our mom, where is our chaddi banyan. Now the chaddi has changed to undie, to underwear, but we don’t say Chaddi. The Banyan remains the same.

Today times of india had this article
Selling lingerie? The lads get their knickers in a twist - The Times of India

The people working in lingerie factories, they feel ashamed to tell their friends that they sell underwears, baniyans, bras, and chaddis.HAHA. So they say, we work in a garment factory, making apparels, or garments, but never say undergarments, for the friends will rib, u selling bras eh !

My elder daughter is married in the family, where her husband makes lingerie in Bangladesh, and his father, that is her father in law makes the same in Indonesia. Well I had no problems that they were making undergarments, because I knew they were making pots of money, and I just worship money. And I know that money will keep my daughter warm and happy. And it has proved right.

A year after her marriage, we went to Indonesia, and I saw their factory. Wow, only lady tailors , a few thousand of them on one floor, making bras, some of the most exquisite designs that I have ever seen.A bra is such a small piece of garment, and I used to wonder why it costs so much, the makers of bras are cheaters, but after I saw the effort that goes in making one, I changed my tune and opinion.

They manufacture on order, a minimum of 5000 dozens per style, to most of the super brands, like Marks and Spencers, Victoria Secret, and many others. And one bra is made by a chain of 20 workers, one will do the cups, one the straps, and so on, so there is perfection in each piece. Its like how they make cars in Detroit, one guy does the doors, one the paint and so on.

The ads are interesting. Indian ones are no less, remember that Amul macho, where the monkey steals the male undie and puts it on, and a woman washing her hubby’s undie, same brand, with a glee on her face, while the other ladies were eyeing her in envy.HAHA.

Now coming to the men selling lingerie.They are taught the difference between a G String, and a thong, well I don’t know what is either, no wonder these lingerie people have not employed me. I have sold ladies garments, all my life, the outer ones, I guess the inner ones are a different ball game altogether.

Maybe God was at his humorous best, when he made the matches of the daughter of the person making outer ladies garments, to the son of the guy making inner ladies garments. God, what a sense of humor u have eh !

And then u have the chaddi banyan chors(thieves), the ones who only wear the undies, and come to steal at homes. They oil their bodies, so that u cant catch them, they slip away.Surely we cant say they wear lingierie, can we ?

I have wondered why our so called macho heros modely for the baniyan, like Salman, Saif, and others, why not for undies ?

Im sure even my friends would have ribbed me, if I was into the manufacturing of lingerie, it is another matter, their wives would call me up, asking for factory prices lingerie.The difference is vast in the manufacturers price and the ultimate selling price. Almost 500 percent I am sure.

But thinking again, for that to happen, Victoria would have to tell me her secret, which the hubby would not like. So that is a flop idea eh !

HAHA

KAMAL MAHTANI

During their lunch, the Queen asked Modi," I heard that Indian politicians and leaders are thieves. Is that true"

Modi said," May be true. May not be true.
But, no leader displays his loot on his/her head"

दारू का कुदरती असर
एक पैग के बाद : सत्य वक्ता,
दो पैग के बाद : अँग्रेजी वक्ता,
तीन के बाद : अधिवक्ता,
चार के बाद : उपदेशक,
पाँच के बाद : शायर,
छः के बाद : शेर,
सात के बाद : ढेर,

Teacher: Billi ke baap ko kya bolega ?
Student : CatAppaa
**Teacher Resigned**

Boy: Pyar एक वायरस है
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mom: और मेरी चप्पल antivirus

: आशिकी की हद तो देखो
एक लड़के की गर्ल फ्रेंड मर गयी तो
उस लड़के ने चिता पर लेट कर लड़की के साथ
.
.
सेल्फी खींच कर पोस्ट किया -
"Me with My ex girl Friend".
at शमशान घाट - Feeling Sad...!!! with pandit ji & 14 others

Three men were discussing the infidelity of their wives over drinks.
Guy No.1 says that he was certain that his wife was having an affair with a plumber, for every time he came home late he found washers, pipe fittings monkey wrench etc. etc. under their bed.
Guy No. 2 was certain that his wife was linked to an electrician for whenever he peeked under their bed he saw bits of wire, splicer, switches etc. etc.
Guy No. 3 a Sardar was certain his wife was having an affair with a horse
The other two were perplexed & asked how this could be possible.
The Sardar replies. " arre yaroon whenever I look under my bed I see a jockey hiding there".

How to get rid of dark circles near ur eyes...
1) Open Whats App
2) Go to settings
3) Deactivate your account

How To Call An urgent Family Meeting In 3 Easy Steps:
1. Go to the Wi Fi router
2. Turn it Off
3. Wait in that Room !!

Rihana · Nov 23, 2015

LOL. Good post, Kamalji.

Chaddi chor, chaddi pahelwan, langothiya yaar... so many idioms related to chaddi.

daisy2015 · Nov 23, 2015

The moment I saw the title I knew it was written by you. Sir, How do you come up with such ideas and where do you find those hilarious jokes? Hat's off to you.

gorgeous23 · Nov 23, 2015

nice post kamalji !!
particularly the following:
"Maybe God was at his humorous best, when he made the matches of the daughter of the person making outer ladies garments, to the son of the guy making inner ladies garments. God, what a sense of humor u have eh"
LOL
you have good sense of humor and even better writing style.you have written about a subject which many people arent even comfortable talking about & yet you have not made a single objectionable statement or derogatory comment .
makes for a good read !

gorgeous23 · Nov 23, 2015

and yes..the jokes too !!good ones

jayasala42 · Nov 23, 2015

The most essential things, considered most derogatory to be talked in public,start shining at your finger trips.Very nice.
Jayasala 42

sreeram · Nov 23, 2015

Wow. Kamalji... Your writing is truly very interesting. I was intrigued by the title thinking what could you have written on such a title.

But it was really a very nice way of writing such things which we normally avoid speaking in front of others. Very nicely and hilarious written. :hatsoff to you Kamalji.

Balajee · Nov 23, 2015

Kamalji, now I understand why chaddi and baniyan are so frighteningly expensive, often costing more than the main garments like jeans and tees.. The actual manufacturers are just middlemen and b igger multinationals put their brand names on them and sell them at a huge premium. Baniyans and chaddis also indicate the market value of a movie star. The washouts among them always come to endorsel Baniyan and Chaddi brands. You see Sunny Deol endorsing Chaddi Banian . Have you ever seen Sunny Leone endoorsing them? If she did they would be so expensive because of her endorsement fee that only Tata, Birla and Ambani would be able to buy Chaddi baniyan. We then would be able to catch corrupt netas and officials easily. All we have to do is to check up whether they are wearing chaddi and baniyan. If they did, they must be having assets disproportionate to known sources of income.

This reminds me of an incident regarding Laloo. There were rumours that he was having an expensive lifestyle despite his rustic pretensions. When one reporter asked him about it at a press conference, Laloo lowered his pajama in public and quipped" "Am I wearing a silk chaddi or what?"i

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Nov 23, 2015

Dear Kamal,

When I read this news item in TOI, I thought Kamal has got a topic to write and you have done it with your own style.

A good one.
PS

surekhap · Nov 23, 2015

A good snippet in your style sir, but just don't know what to comment on it.

all the jokes are nice especially the selfie with the girlfriend in the grave yard and catappa were too good.