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cause of increase in divorce cases

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by PushpavalliSrinivasan, Jun 7, 2007.

  1. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi ladies,
    Nowadays in our country divorce cases are increasing. I feel financial independance, ego clashes and late marriages are the causes for this. Even love marriages are not successful. During courting period each one only show their positve qualities pleasing each other. Only after marriage when they start living together they come to know each others minus points. Each one try to prove that they are only corrct. Here begins the ego clash. After being used to their own way, both men women do not want to compromise. If girls are married in young age, they try to adjust to the new environment. The concept of one child only also adds fuel to the fire. Being only child, they are pampered by parents and this also is a reason. I want your opinion about this.
    Regards,
    Pushpavalli
     
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  2. bipasu_1950

    bipasu_1950 Junior IL'ite

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    :wave hai,
    the present generation people,both boys and girls are brought up not like in the way in which we are brought up.in olden days in a family there will be a lot of members in each household and the children from the younger days will see andlearn to share both happiness and sorrows among all the members.but in the present families the no of children will be one or two,both the husband and wife will be employed,and the financial position will be better.so the parents will be trying their maximum level to please their kids and if there is anything that is not given to them on their request,the children will force the parents by several means to get it done.the parents are also in one way responsible for this developement.this is the situation in their childhood days upto adulthood.after this when comes the time of settling their own houses with their husbands,the situation gives way to another phase.both the boy and girl will be brought up in separate families under different circumstances.at the beginning stage the atmosphere will be calm and each person will try to please the other.but as days go small small quarrels will begin between them.in most cases the girls will be having a job and she will not be able to devote her attention to both the job and home duties in the same manner.this will create some murmurings.if a child also comes the scene will become worse.
    In my view the girls parents are also in one way responsible for this situation.when a girl child is given education,she must also be trained to manage a house and the basic lessons of adjustments .if she is having a job,she will be financially independent,that is true.but this is not the case.home management is equally important for an employed girl.money is not the only thing.some sacrificial mentality is also required on both sides.
    one more thing i want to say is that an effort from the side of the girls' parents is also necessary.when a girl is given in marriage,parents have got a right to advise their daughters to make necessary efforts to make her married life peaceful.If the above points are taken care off,the present tendency of proceeding for a divorce at a small disagreement can be avoided.
    i request for further opinions from all the il members,
    with regards,
    visalam.r:goodidea:
     
  3. Triza

    Triza New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    In earlier days, girls/women were supposed to endure everything, they were trained in such a way that they are made only for the service of their husbands and are not allowed to utter a word against her husband or In-Laws. Adding to this mental slavery, economically also they were not liberated but dependent on their husbands. So after marraige she was having no other option other than to put up with the married life even if it is a hell. Now the condition has changed. Now they are educated, well exposed to the media and most of them are fiancially also self-sufficient. Now they have an option to lead an independent life other than silently suffer everything.

    I think this can be a major reason for the abrupt rise in the number of divorces.


    Regards,

    Triza
     
  4. GPriya

    GPriya Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi ladies,

    The main reason for divorce in Indian society nowadays is that though women are well educated and professionally employed, making equal amount of money as their partner, the idea of partnership in the minds of men is still lacking. It is not for lack of adjustment on the part of women, it is the lack of adjustment on the part of MEN, that caused all the divorce. In most of the marriages, irrespective of education, salary and other accomplishments by women, the men and thier family treats women as in stone ages and that annoys women big time and I feel rightly so.

    The only reason men were respected/worshipped in those days bcos they were bread winners...Women always have been the smarter ones since times unknown... But lack of education, financial independence, social pressures, family support etc., made women to undergo all the agony...in those days...But now, things are different.. for monetary need women have to work and without any help from men, it is difficult to lead a normal, peaceful life... The idea of sharing money alone is not enough, the men need to share household chores, share ideas, be supportive of their women are all equally important to avoid divorce situation.

    Women's expectations have changed/increased with education and independence and accordingly men have to change to meet the requirements to avoid any divorce.

    There are some exceptions to any situation.. as someone in this thread indicated there are very stubborn women, ego clashes etc., are also factors but a miniscule percentage only.


    :wave Geeth Priya.
     
  5. Shanthi

    Shanthi Silver IL'ite

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    I Love GPriya's reply and whole heartedly agree with her. Women being educated and being brought up by parents who want their daughters to excel in education, arts and be brave and independant are the norm nowadays. You cannot blame a parent for that. Women learning to be more self sufficient is not something bad. That is not the reason for a divorce. It is the inability of men to accept that women are their equal that is the reason for the increased divorce rate. 98% of Indian men have the same narrow mentality about their wives or women in general. These men may travel and work in US/UK anywhere, highly educated etc. but have a very typical Indian mentality when it comes to women. Will that ever change?
     
  6. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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  7. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    hi Pushpa,
    this is really a matter of concern for our present generation divorce cases are increasing at alarming rate not in our city only but in small town s and villages. sometimes we say people go in cities or abroad and get spoiled but what when same thing is happening in village areas. human beings have so many desires dont feel satisfied and they are lost in lust. divorce is not only due to male fault female also contribute a lot i n their divorce. now a days we can see many girls happily agree for divorce if they can't adjust with present husband and look for another husband but who their eyes stuck on a man who is really a good husband means already married and a family is spoiled if that man doesn't take a respectable decision. our society being westernized but they don't want to see long term effect on their life of their deeds. now people live for that particular one moment without thiking of the consequences which is making life more miserable. sometimes man wants his wife to look like beauty queen at the same time she should serve him everything at time and no facility poor lady tries to adjust and finds herself nowhere after sometime. Divorce both are responsible in some or otherways. now a days very few people are there who have certain principles in life.

    padma
     

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