Career Or Marriage?

OP,

Not all all MIL's will be like the current one.You will also get a supportive husband and IL family,provided you make your aspirations clear to every one in the IL's family before marriage.Let go of this alliance.Think it like you are breaking up with your bf and let it go. Be clear to your parents that you will only marry a person whose family is supportive of your higher education.

Don't give in to the pressure of society and other black-mailing and be strong.

 

Op...not all mils are the same...but in general ,they are not like mothers.Some can be good, most are difficult at least for considerable time and some are out right monsters.

No you can't tell about her before hand because most good mothers don't turn into good mils(or at least not as good as they are mothers).

This forum has many threads with aunts who turned into horrible mother in laws.

My mother in laws voice and tone changed the moment I got married.

Having a good mil is a big help in a marriage .What matters more is how your husband will be and how he treats you irrespective of how she is.
There can be various combinations.
1)Good mil and good husband(the best)
2) Good mil bad husband(not worth it)
3)Bad mil good husband(still worth it)
4)Bad mil bad husband.( run)
You seem to have been blessed with the 4th option.A bad future mil and a couldn't care less (about you)future husband.

 

Maybe your future mil is against psychiatry @Mynahshrivatsav? I know my mil turned down a psychiatrist for my youngest sil.

Either way, you should still pursue your dreams with the right person while you still can.

 

@Mynahshrivatsav

Close your Eyes remember how much you dreamed for this career. About the guy and his mom forget it - you may have to do lot of sacrifices. You will get a good guy , All the Best ... So Career First now.

 

[QUOTE="I was very terrified to hear all these and I discussed about this with Wahil. But Wahil only said that he loves his mother a lot and he dont want to be on bad terms with her. And if I love him, I should make few compromises for him.
He asked-"cant you give up your career for me? ". I was totally distressed and I sought my parents advise.
As we are from conserved family, they advised me to adjust with inlaws and everything will work out in the end. I dont know what to do...
Should I give up my career for him or should I leave him and pursue my career? Please advise me.. Thank you.[/QUOTE]




If this man is not backing you for an important choice in your life before marriage, for sure you cannot expect him to support you even for small things after marriage. In my opinion, not even your parents, you should be the one to decide anything about your career. You still have time. Decide wisely.

 

Agree 100% with most of the girls here. Why not career and marriage? And down the road, if you decide to give up traditional career to focus on your family more, it must be your decision. Not anyone else's. Many girls are doing so good taking care of both career and family. They should be appraised by their ILs and DHs.

But before marriage, if there is a question of choosing your professional aspirations or marriage, then run now ( faster and quicker may I say) and never look back. You have not given commitment yet. The best benefit of arranged marriage is that you know what you want in your husband, his family, out of your married life. So why compromise at this stage? You deserve to be with the right man and the right family. It is your right and it is so much better to reject a proposal in arranged marriage. ..have faith. Some one nice and deserving of your love will come in your life at the right time.. Be strong and take decision because whatever you decide, you will have to live with that decision.Hope it helps.