Care Of Old Parents In Dysfunctional Families

They also find their own life partner; besides, they don't have that "ugly" dowry system.

In my 45 years, getting to know more about this society, I found that there are plenty of parents in the western world, pay for their children's education. There are also plenty of children who take care of their parents. The only difference I found is that parents don't live with the children. There are plenty of families in the mid west and south where children live next door to their parents.

It is a misnomer to think in western world kids do it by themselves or children abandon their parents.

 

We still have a fairly long way to go before our social system changes. Until then, sadly enough, we will only be comparing apples with oranges. Here (other than in the urban marriage) he/she 'did love marriage' is such a shameful fact that it is now changed to 'love cum arranged' marriage to save face for the parents in their social circles.

Not that finding one's own partner here necessarily implies no 'give and take' or dowry or over the top weddings. Only the 'finer' details might differ.

 

very true

 

That is progress. Doesn't matter what or why you say it.
At some point it will become the "norm" and the "shame" will be the thing of the past. You have to start some where.

More you see the happiness and satisfaction in being independent, it reduces the dependency or expectation from the children. People will have fewer kids and their own future with the present responsibility becomes the priority.

It is ridiculous to see the way they spend/waste money on the wedding, even the ones with limited resources. That money could be well spent on buying a piece of property for themselves or their child.

"Gold", if it isn't for India, the gold price would tumble. A good quality costume jewelery cannot be distinguished from real gold. If a rich person wears fake, people assume that it is real and a poor person wears real, people wonder if it is real? This truly happened in a party.

 

True. Even their marriages are simple. They don't waste money on show.
Marriages happen in parks.
Living in separate houses also does not bitter relationships.
We have to learn a lot from this society.

 

That will be the day, but as of today, marriages are still treated as business deals, old age insurance policies or arrangements between families, the nomenclature or the modus operandi does not matter. Entering a 'love' marriage after allowing the parents of both sides to 'discuss terms and conditions' is meaningless, but that too happens. There are also arranged marriages which do not necessarily entail dowry or wasteful expenses. It certainly is not simple to generalize.

 

More and more people who get married are grown adults and in many cases well educated. It is the youngsters who should stand up to change the society, especially, if it is love marriage. Grown adult children have the freedom to decide for themselves. At one time divorce was shameful. Now, you hear about divorce everywhere. How does that happen?

 

Very true

 

Me wondering are we wandering off from the main topic of this post?

 

. my context was completely towards the parenting part of it . not the relationship. it is amusing how the group perceived it

FYI. i am tamil and so is she. her mother comes every 6 months, and she is close to me. She has the same problems what her H is going through. being a lady she is very vocal to me about her life issues. her H has voice recordings for his safety and shared some with my H. So i know what is going on and who is who here.


that said, please do not further engage in any further discussion in this scenario, it was completely towards the Parent treating her Child. not the regarding the relationship. i am not a cousellor to engage in their family issues.