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Can we live together after going to the point of divorce?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Priyas660, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. Priyas660

    Priyas660 Silver IL'ite

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    After going to the verge of divorce is there a point in staying together? Is it possible even? if yes, then do you forget all those not so happy incidents and live as if nothing happened?

    I am looking for experiences from people who have been through traumatic experiences in your marriage due to in-laws and their influence on your spouse. Your spouse's betrayal after having been influenced by in-laws.

    Then when things settle and the talk of living together comes, I wonder if it is even possible?
     
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  2. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear friend,
    There are many couples living a fairly happy married life after ugly incidents due to various reasons.
    The happily married couples we see around are making many compromises as well , nobody can be deliriously happy throughout 4 -5 decades of marriage.
    Every marriage has some upheavals at some point of time and damage control is required.
    If there has been a compromise then the situation can be redeemed by efforts put in by both.
    Generally going far way from trouble makers works wonders be it Inlaws, family or love interest.
    But there should be a will to make it work and some love to bind again, many couples stick it out as a known devil is better than un unknown one or because of kids.
    But its better to move on if there is nothing left.
    PS-This does not apply if there is abuse, DV in the marriage.
     
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  3. soulhappy

    soulhappy Silver IL'ite

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    4Dear friend,
    I agree with flowerlady . If there is love in the relationship and both DH and DW are willing to compromise and build a stable and healthyrelationship, it can be redeemed. If they fight over the past and have insecurities and are immature,ithere is no room for hope . Atleast one of them should be mature enough to compromise. But to have a good relationship,it has to be twosided (mutual care and compromise ).
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2013
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  4. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes it is possible. As long as both the people realize where their boundaries lie. They both have to work extra hard in the right direction.

    It could be extremely painful in the beginning. However if both the parties take baby steps and try to become friends, first and foremost, then, the relationship has a huge chance of healing...

    Just being friends as in, each does his/ her own chores and only helps each other with those. Having clear communication, but being tactful and wary of the other persons' feelings. Stuff like that. Then, surely you can have a turn around. I did and I'm glad about it...
     
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  5. aqawa

    aqawa Senior IL'ite

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    'in-laws and their influence on your spouse'..LOL
    We always forget, he is their son.
    if you were innocent and they were wicket rascals, than i think sooner or later this will return, but if you have changed too :) it might work.
     
  6. shari2003

    shari2003 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    Like the other posters have responded, YES, it is possible to live together and that too happily even after an ugly phase. But, for that both the partners should make a positive effort towards making it work.

    The birth of a baby, a brief period of physical separation between partners (due to job or such other circumstances and not due to fights), shifting to a new place away from other influences, another issue that needs more attention from both partners etc. can do wonders at times to bring the partners together once again.

    But yes, both the partners certainly should have understood the other and they should make compromises to make it work...
     
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  7. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes but both parties must be honest in what went wrong first.
     

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