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Can Cosisters Ever Be Friends/best Friends?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Patientone, Jun 8, 2021.

  1. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    I’m the younger bahu...cosis is the older bahu (however I am 2 years older than her). Ever since the day we met she’s been nice to my face and evil behind my back. Lately it’s gotten worse she just doesn’t acknowledge us, doesn’t care about us. Only cares if her husband invites us otherwise we’re strangers...can we ever be friends or close friends? It’s like she doesn’t want to keep it with us..I respect her...but I’m not going to waste our time...
     
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  2. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    She doesn't want you in her life.
    Now, after this bad behavior if she changes her behavior and starts being nice and sisterly-one should be spooked.

    In most cases co-sis cannot be friends.
     
  3. stayblessed

    stayblessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Nope in my case. In fact all my problems is because of my bil and Co sis. In my case they like my husband but I am not welcome. Co sis is the biggest bully and best actress I have ever seen in my life. Not a single good trait.
     
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  4. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    Most of us would have witnessed the Cosis relationship of our parents generation. I must say they are much better compared to our generation. I will not say that they did not have any differences. They chose to remain cordial atleast during visits and family gatherings. This was maintained so as to not cause issues within the brothers or whatso ever. Even today they call each other atleast to enquire about the whereabouts.
    This is not the case with the current generation. There is nothing called family relationship between the cosisters in most of the cases. Its more of insecurity, complexity, ego and arroagance between them.
    Its very difficult to remain casual or friendly. The conversation has to be extremely formal and balanced.
    Almost all my friends, relations, siblings are almost having zero communication with their cosisters because of the above mentioned issues.
    Coming to my case, since my cosis stays away I was just quite formal. After a couple of years, we came little closer and started talking about quite a lot of things including MIL, husband side family issues etc. Most of the talks was through chats. The way the talks went on I felt she is getting closer and I was happy. Infact I even considered her as my younger sis and helped her by providing everything she needs post delivery. But these vibes did not last long. Just a few months.
    I noticed change in her behavior and I distanced myself and just remained cordial from then on.
    She took few incidents personally which happened between me and MIL . She did not even try to talk and find out what was it I was going through even though she knows the entire story.
    And then one fine day she mentioned on whatsapp status that she had unpleasant situation with someone whom she was connected any time at all.
    I realised that this was purely needy based relationship and then stayed away.
     
  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    When two sisters married two brothers from a different family, peaceful co-existence assured.
    In a one room kitchen both brothers started their family life and brothers were working in nearby refinery taking shifts in the office. Before marriage they were my lodge mates.
    Their family I observed from distance were moving on even keel. Then they relocated to gulf.
    They are happy in gulf too.
     
  6. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    My husband has 4 brothers all married and with families and we co sisters got along very well all these years . All invariably got together in helping out during different family functions such as weddings etc. I find however that in recent years, after the next generation has started and their sons/ daughters have started having their own families, kids etc, that a sense of competition begins and all are no longer so open and friendly, and talks get restricted to mere firmalities!
    So as to whether co sisters can bevfriends, it depends on the concerned and how open minded they are to others success and are able to be happy for others too.
    This is somewhat similar to relationship between 2 sambandis- meaning 2 parents in law. It is also very rare, because each has a lot to hide from the other and would favour their own children only against their spouses. Thus, they maintain a semblance of civil behaviour for society sake or for the same of the children.
     
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  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Nope.
    I hate my costs more than my mil:rage:
    It mostly depends on each family.
     
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  8. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    I don't have a younger sister. My co sis is like my own sister. She is a very sweet girl. A very good DIL too. But everyone.treats her like crap. She is my best friend too. We share all our secrets.
     
  9. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    We know one reason why OP's cosister hates her: OP is older, but got the younger husband. This is total injustice !!
    If we know all the facts, we would know why the OP gets what she gets.
     
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  10. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, only when you share a common enemy! In other cases, she is mostly running for the "best DIL" trophy.. for which she might someday stab you in the back. Beware!
     
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