1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Can A Marriage Survive Without Intimacy??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Milaani001, May 6, 2020.

  1. Milaani001

    Milaani001 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    PurpleRoses,
    He want me to visit psychologist not himself.whatever i found him wrong he taunt me to go to psychologist...and did not try to understand my point....that is big turn off for me to keep relationship normal.
     
  2. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    421
    Likes Received:
    535
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    his signs clearly show low testosterone levels. he needs endocrine blood tests and related with good exercise. you have a lot in your plate. he needs to work with you and you would have assure that this remains between you too ..

    society has issues all the time. if you have kid then someone will say something else. no kid something else.
     
  3. Milaani001

    Milaani001 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Archanaanchan,
    I don't feel emotional connection to him apart having above qualities in him.he just understand intellectual matter...he can't understand my emotions.if I try to tell him what I don't like he start argue more than necessary and seems like he don't want to change.these things are big turn off for me...and make me least interested in him too. ultimately, sex feel like a mechanical thing.
     
  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,303
    Likes Received:
    2,724
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    We can't reverse your past. So try not to bring it to the present. Avoid any talks on his family or past issues. Your tests are on fertility. But my question was not on that. Issues that prevent normal sex physically or due to hormone issues.(these issues have solutions too, most common are ED and foreskin issues) . I believe 6yrs is a long time to understand those.

    Why he thinks you need to visit psychologist. Is there any reason for it.
    But talking to a counselor is not a bad idea. It will give you clarity on thoughts. Tell him that you are ready to go ,if he comes with you. But it stays with only you two.
    OP, you should realise that you can't change anyone. He has to change himself. But if you keep on nagging and finding faults you will drive him away. Talk positively first and appreciate good things. Then bring the point you disagree. You also have to think in his position, assess your own behavior and make changes if needed. I think he lacks confidence . He need a comfort zone. You need to make him aware that you accept and love him . Whenever you are trying for it encourage instead of pushing him away. I think you guys are trying but it's not working . Still I didn't understand exactly your problem. Is it physical issue or mental block or lack of drive or is he asexual? ( I think a normal man need it, if he is not doing it with you then he has other ways to satisfy it or he has some medical issue/ asexual) you What about you. If you have any issues consult a sexologist.

    On the emotional side, what is blocking you from developing a strong bond. Is it lack of attraction or lack of communication?

    Instead of worrying about turn offs first focus on how to get your sex life on track. Good sexlife can create an emotional bond due to the release of happy hormones.

    You should give a time line to yourself. For example six months. Try your best to look good, and be happy. Be pleasant and try your best to make both of you comfortable. Encourage him. Also have heart yo heart talk . It should sound like you love him and you are longing for a normal healthy sex life, not in an accusing way. Try your best.

    Then if nothing works, ask him to come for family counseling or be ready to separate ( not asking you to separate or divorce, its your choice but to give a shock, that you are serious) as you want a normal life and not a brother sister relationship.

    Also if he wants child, he has to try it normally. Be firm on it. Its better not to bring a child to a marriage that's not functioning well.

    Your journey is not going to be smooth. It's tough. My acquaintance, I mentioned above, tried and they had a good sex life for some months and he stopped it. She suffered a lot. All her anger and frustration resulted in lot of fights and eventually divorce.

    There is a chance that these kind of men are super nice and help in household jobs . It's an efforts to cover up their shortcomings. If he has medical issue, try to understand it. Give him confidence and assure him that you will be there for him and both of you can consult doctor.

    You have three choices; stay and suffer , separate and explore options, stay and try your best .All these three are equally challenging in their own ways.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
    lavani likes this.

Share This Page