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Calling husband by name?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Huma, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. Huma

    Huma Silver IL'ite

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    i am wondering why indian women dont call their husband by their name?
    in my family my mum used to call my dad "evandi" in fact i think all south indian women does that? any particular reason for that?
    i used to live with a tamil family. the lady of the house adress to hers husband as poornima's father each time and i cant help smiling. poornima is their daughter.

    i call my hubby by his name. it doesnt make me less respectful towards him.
    bye
     
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  2. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Hi HUma,
    YOU are lucky that you are calling your husband by name.
    Mine was a love marriage, we two were working in the same office.
    I used to call him by name until we got married.
    After our marriage, his sister screwed him by saying that why I am calling my husband by name and I should call him 'Ennango' in tamil. Basically I am not a Tamil person and I am from kannada.
    At my house, even my mom never used to call my dad as 'Enundre', they had pet name. I felt so uncomfortable calling him 'Ennango' and I was so used to call him by name.
    Apart from this, it should be between my husband and myself about calling names etc. Because of his sister, I got so mad that till now I told call him by name or 'ENNANGO'. I use plain english to call him, please come here, go there etc.
    I lost that love and affection of calling him by name.
    Anyway it is all fate.
    SO I said you are lucky.

    Good luck.
    Punitha
     
  3. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Dear Punitha,

    Sorry that you succumbed to your sis-in-law's whims. You are now in Boston I see, you should talk this over with your husband and gradually use his name now and then. I know, it is awkward to start suddenly.
    I cannot understand that young people still cannot address each other by names.
    At the same time, what's in a name? Give him your own pet name (like your parents) and all should be well. It is the love between you that matters.

    L, Kamla
     
  4. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Thanks Kamala!!
    I never gave a thought about calling again him with his name.
    I will give a try, let's see what he is upto...
    Thanks again.
     
  5. vidyavenky

    vidyavenky New IL'ite

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Hi Huma,

    Yeah... As Punitha says we are lucky bcoz we call by their names. When i got married and asked by hubby how should i call him bcoz my co-sister doesnot call her husband by name , then my husband told me however u want. So i kept a nickname (cos his name was also too big) and call by that. Nobody objected that.But some of my friends are not allowed to call so atleast not infront of their in-laws. Basically hubby's are mostly elder than their wifey's so to give respect to them.

    :wave
    vidya.
     
  6. radhavenkatesh

    radhavenkatesh Silver IL'ite

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    hi all
    i call my husband in so many ways with his name -yes as emandi- yes above all
    i call my husband as mama (whn b4 someone)mamo ( whn he dosent listen to me whn i am calling )mamu(whn he is in pleasant mood and me also in gud mood) mamoi ( whn he never responds to me watching some stupid discovery channel)
    u knw whn i make a call to his mobile it starts shouting mama mamaa mamu mamoooi and he picks up b4 it gets the attention of all :))

    yes in the begining yrs my mil use to feel odd my father in lw ( we call him mamagaru or mamayagaru ) use to feel v odd :))
     
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  7. jothi

    jothi Senior IL'ite

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Hi Ladies,

    As Kamla said this is between two people who love each other. So I guess we can call our hubbys whatever we want in the privacy of our room, and just for the sake of others be respectful. My husband and I are very friendly, I have taken the liberty of calling him by his name which I do often, but not all the time, and sometimes I have also used 'Vada", "Poda" too in a loving manner.

    Regards,
    Jothi.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2007
  8. sunikris

    sunikris Bronze IL'ite

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    Calling husband by their name?

    Hi all,
    Interesting thread,
    I want to say about me also
    From the day 1 we got married i used to call him 'Evandi',bcz my mom used to call my Dad like this & all other relatives also call their husbands like this.

    But in my heart i want to call him with pet name.
    after some days of our marriage i started calling him with pet name when we both were together.
    But infront of third person i call him 'Evandi'.
    He likes that.
    even though we r staying out of India, i used to call him 'Evandi' & some times with his pet name.

    Aadath padgayiii :mrgreen:
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2007
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  9. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    Dear all and Punitha in particular

    Punitha,you echoed my thoughts beautifully.Mine too was a love marriage (we worked in the same office)and I used to call my husband by name for atleast 5 years before marriage.Then suddenly after our marriage,my in-laws expected me to refrain from calling him by name.That was so difficult for me.Also,he used to call me Suni as most of my colleagues called me.

    So,like you,I shifted to talking purely in English at home so that this thing of called 'Enango' or 'Eanna' will not become a subject at all.Then slowly I started calling him by name at home too in front of everyone and that stays till today.Nobody has raised this subject with me after that and I don't think they ever will now:mrgreen: .

    To add to it,one day,giving in to everyone,my husband started calling me 'Sunitha' instead of Suni. At once,I felt so distanced from him. So,I walked up to him and told him there itself that if he calls me 'Suni' I will appreciate it more and that worked.

    I believe what I call my husband or what he calls me should purely be decided by him and me and not by anyone else.
     
  10. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: calling husband by their name?

    :rotfl


    :rotfl :rotfl :rotfl

    I should take a page off your book Radha. Unfortunately no one will understand the language here for my husband to answer the cell on the first few rings... He never seems to pick it up fast enough

    My Mom in law calls my FIL 'Dora' (the way landlords are addressed in telangana)

    My Mom used 'Aji' (Deccan region nawabi influence)

    My SIL (husband's sister) uses 'Raja' / Bachi (last name shortened )

    My co-sister uses 'Ayya'

    What I observed was my MIL was never happy with whatever way her sons were addressed by their wives while being happy with her daughter's Raja

    So I asked her should I address my husband as Rere (last name shortened) OR as Raja..........No response

    Whats in a name as long as they respond in time.........
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2007

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