Calling Customer Care is very tough -

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by umasridharan, Nov 17, 2006.

  1. umasridharan

    umasridharan Senior IL'ite

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    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

    Samsung Electronics

    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

    RAC Motoring Services

    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in
    <st1:country-region><st1:place>Australia</st1:place></st1:country-region>?"
    Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in
    <st1:country-region><st1:place>France</st1:place></st1:country-region>):

    "If I register my car in
    <st1:country-region><st1:place>France</st1:place></st1:country-region>, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

    Directory Enquiries

    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in
    <st1:City><st1:place>Cardiff</st1:place></st1:City> please".
    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in
    <st1:country-region><st1:place>Scotland</st1:place></st1:country-region>".

    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

    "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

    Another Tech-Support -

    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
    Customer: "OK".
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

    Customer Care People are Extra-ordinary -

    Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

    Now Customer is Smart Here -

    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared. "
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you Bought it from."


    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer!!!! !"



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  2. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    I owe you lot, Uma

    Dear Uma,
    I was down with throat pain, my wife is ill and I have a big event tomorrow where I need to talk non-stop for 2 hours.
    With this kind of a mind set I just read your post. I had a hearty laugh. And could not stop laughing for a while.
    I am now fresher, lighther and ready to face the challenges before me.
    Thanks a ton, Uma.
    sridhar
     

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