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Buy house for my parents

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Asha123, May 19, 2010.

  1. Asha123

    Asha123 New IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    As usual i am here again to seek all ur precious advises, here is the issue, i and my husband have a joint bank account, we both work and all the money goes in the same account, now, my parents back in India are not that well off, we have our own house in home town, but my parents moved to Hyderabad and are living there since past 4 yrs, as u all know how tought it is to get a good house at rent in Hyderabad, with little amount they have in their hands, my heart cries when i see them like that, my husband is not so understand as i am not one of that lucky girl, we have our own battle going on between us which is another stroy, i want to buy them a house in hyderabad, and had asked them to look for one, looks like they like a apartment and want to buy it, but we need to make 20 lakhs down payment right away and remaing amount they will be paying as installment, which would not be a big burden on my dad, now the thing is i spoke to my husband about this and as usual u know the result, i am planning to take a loan on my name so that i dont touch any amount in our joint account and i can pay the bank load as i am working, but the worst thing is i dont have a good credit history, i screwed up when i applied for Macy's card, at that time i was very new to US and dint know how the card worked and my credit history was ruined, please help me, whom and were to go to get a personal loan, all ur suggestions would be highly appreciated.

    Thank u all.

    Asha.
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Asha123,

    I am not going to tell how to get a loan.But here are my other thoughts on your post?
    Does your parents had any other kids?I would advise,buy appartment on your name and let your parents stay in that appartment.
    Second thought,instead of you putting 20laks on that appartment,you can easily efford there rent right.I don't know how much rent there paying though.You can put some amount in the bank and the interest you get on the money,they can pay there rent.
    If your husband is not interest to buying an appartment for your parents,then you need slow down and come to some common ground.
    If you went ahead and make your own arrangements then there will long time smoke in your marriage.So take it slow.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2010
  3. raha256

    raha256 Bronze IL'ite

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    dear,
    i can Here i am not going to say how to take loan, jus 2 cents

    if u want to buy a house for your parents, buy it in your name and let them stay there. its an investment for you and your hubby MAY NOT stop you from helping them. if ur parents and ur DH share a good realtionship u can goahead. think before u take a loan:idea.

    We females have to think 1000 times before we offer a helping hand for our parents after marriage. V.Sad.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2010
  4. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Asha ,your credit history is bad in US, you need house in India. Why dont you apply home loan there instead in banks? 20 lakhs is big amount as down payment. Agreed these days prices of good apartments in good area is really high , but try to be reasonable. Its understandable that you want to have them live in good place but typically in India girls do not support their parents to buy houses after their marriages. So to expect your husband to go out of the way to accept such things is not easy.. The question is not of right or wrong. There can be too many issues now and later due to this factor....I dont know what else to say but see if your husband can agree for you to take home loan in India and you can see how reaonable your parents can be to live in not so expensive place. I would still feel rental apartments are much cheaper considering the sky rocket prices that apartments are selling at...But you will have to do your homework taking all factors
     
  5. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    This might not be popular advice, but here is what I think.

    You have no right to go behind your husband's back to buy your parents a house. That is so decepive and sets a bad standard for what behavior is allowed in your marriage. If you deceive him today, watch out, because he may assume it's ok to do the same to you tomorrow.

    Sorry to say, but if your parents want a house in Hyderbad, then they should sell the one they've got in their home town and use the proceeds to buy a new place in Hyderbad.

    And obviously you are clueless when it comes to how financial burden works. Just because you don't take money from your "joint" account, doesn't mean you aren't taking money away from the household. When you spend money, especially for some huge item like a house, it decreases the amount you and your dh have for YOUR and HIS future. Unless you are Oprah Winfrey, you should not so casually be buying other people houses.

    If they can't afford the rent for their apartment, they should find a cheaper apartment (like the rest of the world does when they can't afford the place they're living). And if they still can't afford any rent in a decent place, then I think it's acceptable to step in and help them with the rent and their necessary expenses. But to buy a house behind your husband's back when there are other alternatives is really asking for trouble.

    And for the record, my answer would be the same even if you were a guy. It's not a question about 'what girls can do for their parents', it's a matter of it being wrong to deceive your spouse and take on a financial burden which is detrimental to you and your spouses future.
     
  6. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Asha

    Do you know how much longer your parents are going to stay in Hyderabad? If they are going to be there just temporarily, renting would probably be a better option unless it is an investment you wish to make, to have a property back in India for when you move back! If that is the case, your husband should be totally be on board too, since the properties will be registered in both your names and it would not really be fair to expect your dad to pay the EMIs for your house.

    Now if they have permanently shifted base to Hyderabad, would it be possible to sell the house back in your hometown and that money be utilized towards the down payment for the one you want to buy? That way, you dad will also not feel obligated and you need put up with the husband's long face! Even if the house you own back in your hometown does not cover the entire 20L, you can cover the rest of the amount with probably a smaller loan from India or a little explanation to your husband on how you need some money from your savings to help parents in India. He probably won't refuse if it is not such a huge amount.
     
  7. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    [JUSTIFY]Hii..even I don't know about loan and all. but just a suggestion....which area is this in Hyderabad ?? 20 lakhs down payment is too much. My locality has very good apartments with down payment of 10 lakhs or so....a bit less than that too... you can pay down payment easily and remaining apply for home loan....

    Sorry for diverting the thread.[/JUSTIFY]
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2010
  8. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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    OP,

    If you pitch this as an investment you can probably get an enthusiastic buy in from your hubby. Many NRIs want to invest in real estate in India and often have no one reliable to take care of it.

    I, for one, would love to buy a house for all relatives that I trust so they can live there and pay me rent that they can afford (below market, even zero, is fine!) while I participate in the appreciation of price.

    If you pitch it that way, your hubby will go for it as who is a better risk to invest with than your parents?
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2010
  9. Asha123

    Asha123 New IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    Thank u for all ur feedback, the whole cost of apartment is 18 lakhs, they need a down payment of 10 lakhs now and rest amount can be paid in instalments for 3 1/2 years, i am planning to pay the rest, since it is in installments, i can pay some every month from my salary, now tell me how to convence my husband that i need to send just $600 to my parents evey month from my paycheck, my husband is a kind who considers that taking daughters money is a Taboo, but i have no option apart from helping my parents, i know how bad they might have felt to ask me money, but were else they would go if it was not me, so no matter what i want to pay that installmetn, my in-laws are very goo to me, and i share each and everything with them, they know how my parents are, my parents and in-laws are in very good terms with each other, so i am planning on talking to my father-in-law and ask him to talk to my husband and convence him for that, lets see how it goes, mean while if any one of u have any idea of how to convence my husband, please let me know.

    I will keep u all posted on how things are going.

    Thanks again!
     
  10. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    I feel the only convincing thing to do is to buy the house in your name and your husband's name and give it to your parents to live for free.
    If not, this whole incident will come back and bite your a$$ bigtime.
     

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