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Building blocks of a relationship

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Jun 22, 2012.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Marraiges are made in heaven but we have to try and make it WORK here.

    Remember the three "F"s in a successful marriage.
    "F"riendship
    "F"reedom
    "F"orgiveness
    You are each others "F"riend, give each other "F"reedom and "F"orgive each other at times.

    Never expect too much from any relationship if you want it to work. If you give more then you expect you will always be happy.


    Of late I have not been getting good fbs. But what to do snippets is my first love in IL and I cant be without writing and sharing my experiences. I can understand among the great and humerous writers here it is difficult to get fbs. But its my motto to try, try till you succeed and I am sure I will succeed.

    Much has written about couples made for each other and being opposites but attract each other. Now let me write about my best half. He is no doubt a gem of a person but sometimes if I say yes to something he will say no. In somethings he does not like to listen to me. I think he thinks that if he listens to everything I say then I might sit on his head.

    In some things we are east and west but I always give up so thats why we have been together since 39 years , next year we will be completing 40 years of married life. Whenever we are going out I only choose his dress, usually he wears dhoti and shirt or kurta only for any functions. In that he listens to me. Today he was wearing the dhoti on the wrong side, when I told him he was not listening to me first then somehow listened to me and wore it on the right side. He does not like watching Hindi Channels much whereas I like to watch.

    I am lucky that he comes with me to visit my friends and that is why I could meet so many ILites from different places. He is very simple but at the same time he is strict also and for him ellu na ennaiya irukkanam, means whenever he says to do something should be done immediately.

    “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”
    “Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.”
    ~Kahlil Gibran on love
     
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  2. Pallavi4me

    Pallavi4me Platinum IL'ite

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    very well said Vijima.

    Its nice to know about your bond too..

    ha.. haa....:thumbsup
     
  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Forty three views and only one fb. So sad I think I should go for training to become a good writer.
     
  4. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Pallavi dear thanks very much for your only fb. You made my day
     
  5. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Words of wisdom vijima.
     
  6. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks Eandian dear
     
  7. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow Vijima you made my day. I will remember the 3 f's for ever.
    Let me join in and give my mantra for building and sustaining any relationship.
    I call it the 3 p's
    Prayer
    Patience and
    Positive attitude.
    Thank you for this thread.
    Reading about your h's dhoti incident made me laugh. I guess all men are same. When the wife says anything it must not be right but if others say :bonk I tease my h saying the neighbor lady says :hide:
     
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  8. esbanu

    esbanu Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Vijima for 3 Fs..
     
  9. upfsabari

    upfsabari IL Hall of Fame

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    Very well said vijima.
     
  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sister Viji,

    Thank you for your wonderful post on marital relationship and how it should be nurtured. 40 years of experience is a lot and we have just entered 30th year of our life together. As you said differences are always there between spouses and that is human but how we resolve them peacefully makes the relationship divine. I have specifically written a blog on this subject recently and I am giving below the link to that blog. I value your comments and when you get a chance please give your valuable comments.

    Parallel but compatible - Blogs - IndusLadies

    As far as the relationship with spouse is concerned it should be close enough to be intimate but distant enough to provide some space. The mantra I follow is Love and Listen. If we know how to give unconditional love and learn how to listen patiently, the life becomes enjoyable. The differences are okay but objectives should be the same. We can run parallel but should reach the same destination.

    Viswa
     
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