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Brother's Marriage

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by saraswathilives, Dec 8, 2010.

  1. saraswathilives

    saraswathilives Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Im a regular reader of this site and this is my first post. Im a married woman in late 20s settled in Chennai. I've a younger brother who is of the marriageable age. We are seeking alliance for him. My parents have picked up one alliance who has a master's degree in Music. None of my family members are singers or have a high degree of interest in Music. But for this alliance, ppl say that this a great degree and qualification. The girl who is chosen by my parents for my brother is un-employed and has a qualification only in Music. BTW my brother is a post graduate in commerce and working for a reputed bank. Myself I hold a MBA and Im also working for a reputed bank. Im not convinced abt this alliance but my parents are. My brother is somewhat ok with the alliance. Basically he prefers an unemployed girl. I know I have nothing to do with his decision, but this somewhat upsets me .... The girl has no other educational qualifications apart from Music ... my Mom says she'll teach music to kids .... I can't stand this .... I feel that a girl with somewhat basic qual can be seen for my brother .... not sure whether to put this across to my parents and brother ... Pls help ... and Im not that kind of a person who always interferes in others businesses ..... :) pls help with ur replies ladies ........ :)

    Regards,
    Saraswathi
     
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  2. HridayaVihari

    HridayaVihari New IL'ite

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    I guess you can give your opinion to your brother but the decision of going for this marriage or not should come from his end.

    Now to give my opinion - The girl is not uneducated right ?? What your parents think are perfect in terms of "she can teach music to kids". Considering the fact that your brother wants a house wife , I feel this qualification is good enough. In future if your brother changes mind and want to send her for job or if she wants to have a carreer with this qualification then there are schools and music colleges who will need music teachers. To my understanding every qualification will surely have its own weightage .

    I too have a younger brother, Me and my husband worked on fixing his alliance but all said and done final decision was his which is always safe but ofcourse we can give our viewpoints to initiate their thought process. All the Best. :thumbsup
     
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  3. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know why are you saying Masters degree in Music as no educational background other than music. To my knowledge it is also considered as post graduation. Probably you don't have much idea about that field.

    But are your parents proceeding further with this alliance. Looks like your brother is also not completely interested and only somewhat ok in that?
     
  4. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    when your bro is okay with alliance
    when your bro is okay to get married to unemployed gal
    when your parents are ready for it
    I guess there is no point in you getting upset:my2cents
    Music is divine..everyone can get basic qualification but arts is a subject not everyone can master...
    and marriage works on understandings and commitments not on degrees and certifications
    i am sorry if i sounded harsh but i dont see any point in what you are saying :idontgetit:
     
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  5. twity

    twity Bronze IL'ite

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    I second lavi...I dont get what is ur issue?.

    Regards,
    Twity
     
  6. maliniglow

    maliniglow Gold IL'ite

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    You have mentioned that your brother needs an un-employed girl, there is nothing to worry about it. Even in music there is lot of opportunities. With the educational qualifications alone we cannot decide a girl's future.

    Malini
     
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  7. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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    Leave your brother to decide who he wants to marry. He is a grown man and I'm sure he can think for himself.
     
  8. shantisubra

    shantisubra Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Saraswathy

    If your brother has no problem listening to continuous music teaching at home, I would suggest you that this is the best option to make money, be engaged without worrying of rushed cooking, getting ready, spending on dresses and constantly running behind the clock. Its tiring. She can also conveniently celebrate all auspicious days, poojas, festivals etc. without waiting for someone else to give / declare holidays. She is the boss here. If she is busy, she can by all means cancel the classes. Its like work from home.

    These days rather than studying and working hard so much, but still one has to look for job, salary, appraisal, increment, bonus etc., whereas if you have an art of such kind, its much better. Its a born virtue. She can join some private institute/school / college / freelance and make money. Good contacts will be there thru music. Every parent wants their children to be MSS or MLV or Nithyasree or Anuradha Sriram or Unni Krishnan alike, so they send the children for such classes. With just 8 days a month, the music or any art teachers can demand Rs.500/- around (I am not sure on the rate now), total 16 hours per child, and with 20 children, she can easily make Rs.10k from home and can take care of household also.

    If she joins some school thats additional...... more holidays in a year also.
    No stresss or pressure.

    So please dont interfere. Its a good option.

    Best Regards
    Shanti
     
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  9. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to be rude. But I have to say it.
    Just because you have an MBA seems like you have put yourself on the pedestal. Now a days MBA's are dime a dozen. But How aften do you see a masters in Music.
    First learn to respect and appreciate each person to their own merits.
    And don't meddle in your Brother's life.
    Don't even think of planting the seed in his mind that masters in music is nothing which is not true.
    Who knows down the lane God forbid you are looking for job while the music teacher will be running her own school or college. Than maybe she can employ you to manage her school. :rant:rant
     
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  10. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry girl, but you are sounding SO arrogant! Like another poster on here said, MBA's are a DIME A DOZEN in today's world. I should know, I'm doing my MBA too! There is nothing special about it, other than it will help us get a business job.

    Tell me.... what does education have to do with whether a couple will be happy or not? How will an MBA education make her a good wife to your brother? This is the dumb mentality of a lot of Indian people.... match horoscope, education, and skin color.... but to hell with personality and character! I'm glad your brother has his mom to look out for him, because if the decision was left up to you, looks like you'd only pick out a mirror image of yourself to match your brother with! At least your mom is looking at the girl as an entire package, and not just picking apart her education.... which in my opinion, her education is very impressive, and she's got a talent for music which is unique and special!

    Here's a newsflash for you: commerce job isn't the best job in the world! the best job in the world is the one you feel happy doing. And if this girl feels happy pursuing music, THEN LET HER DO WHAT SHE WANTS AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. You have even mentioned your brother prefers a nonworking girl.... so why would she even need a business degree to be a stay at home wife/mom??? THINK!

    Sorry, but I encounter arrogant and snotty attitudes like yours every day I go to my MBA classes. And I'm sick and tired of MBA degree holders thinking their poops are made of gold and rest of the world is beneath them. Enough is enough. Let your brother and his parents handle this.
     
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