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Boys should be taught first:- Watch this amazing video

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by priya g, Oct 30, 2014.

  1. priya g

    priya g Senior IL'ite

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    Yes Radhai..what you feel is absolutely right. It is people in our society who say "men do not cry" and subtly declare that "women can cry"? SUch stereotypes end up men behaving badly/abusing with women and claiming- anyways, these women have a habit of crying.
    I am just impressed with the way this video highlights this sensitive issue of physical/emotional abuse on women.
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    How is "hitting is wrong" related to "boys don't cry"?

    The video would have been a good one if it was meant to show how boys are forced to cover up emotions.

    The last scene where the man has hit and hurt the woman, how is that man linked to all the boys who were all their life taught that "boys don't cry"?
     
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  3. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    The video show that boys don't cry; instead make women cry (through domestic violence) on their behalf.
     
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I think the message is....Instead of teaching boys don't cry...teach them ,boys don't make others cry.They got two separate issues mixed up in an effort to get the a catchy slogan.
    Two separate issues.......could be dealt with two separate videos.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2014
  5. perfundo

    perfundo Silver IL'ite

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    am I the only one or others too feel it is a bit pompous?
     
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  6. Telja

    Telja Silver IL'ite

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    I suggest that from childhood onwards boys should be made equeal responsibility to look after every matter of life .. how to bahave , how to support others. how to adjust.. how to share .. how to help ... from small age they should do work in house like cleaning. kitchen works .. respect ... dont allow boys just to play and gals only indulge in house activities .. such old practice wont help in new generation society ... boys and gals are equal .. boys should not be made as kings and gals as slaves ...
     
  7. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    In short, the film is about domestic violence and might leaving you scratching your heads for a little while, given the rather convoluted path it takes to get to its message. Sure no one is going to deny that it's high time that men and boys were made to realise that physical abuse or even mental harassment of a female partner is just plain wrong, but the film doesn't do that in a manner than is effective and strong.

    [​IMG]Screenshot from the video.


    The film links two completely different sides of masculinity as though one is always responsible for the other. It seems to imply that because we teach men not to cry, they like to make women cry.
    There are many problems with the "boys don't cry" version of masculinity, none of which the film addresses. For starters it's bad for the men themselves because this idea expects them to live up to some bizarre notion of the tough, 'real' man where crying would compromise their identity as men.
    For many men, living up to this image can be very hard and those who end up crying, even in front of their closest friends, often face ridicule or are reminded of the male motto, 'Boys don't cry'. This the film shows quite accurately.
    However, the film never addresses how 'boys don't cry' impacts male psyche but takes an abrupt turn to a completely different issue: of domestic violence and men who hurt women.
    The film concludes showing a man, cold, unyielding and impassive, twisting a woman's arm. The message seems to be this: men who don't cry in public and are not prone to show of emotions are most likely to hurt women. And that isn't remotely true.
    While trying to puncture the 'macho man' stereotype, the film creates another stereotype, which suggests that men, uncomfortable with the show of emotions, might end up hurting women.
    The one good thing about the video is how it shows that the man and the woman are well-to-do, presumably educated individuals living in a posh home. That the video acknowledges how domestic violence isn't something that only your maid faces and is not class specific, is laudable.
    But where the whole domestic violence message is concerned, the video is not ground-breaking. Just like 'boys don't cry' is one aspect of the so-called 'real man', patriarchy has insisted that crying is the exclusive domain of women. And when the video says men should be taught not to get girls to cry, it's just reinforcing this idea, that girls are the weaker ones, the ones who will cry because of a man. It, perhaps unwittingly, places power in the hands of the man and asks them to not make a girl cry. That isn't what empowerment means, isn't it?
    Ref:Here's why Madhuri Dixit's 'Boys don't cry' short film doesn't work
     

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