Boss behaving in a weird way

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by aasawaree_b, Dec 14, 2007.

  1. aasawaree_b

    aasawaree_b New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    Recently I started having meetings with the General Manager of our company. I do not directly report to him. He is otherwise a nice and friendly guy, but during a recent meeting - which was attended by only the two of us, he behaved in a very strange way. He suddenly started talking about Brazilian kissing and asked me if I have ever heard of different types of Brazilian kisses. And he tries to shake hands with me as many times as possible, even if it is not really required. When he said that, I was shocked and baffled for a moment, but composed myself and continued discussing business topics. But now I feel really scared to have meeting with him. And for a project, I need to have frequent meetings with him in the coming months. Friends, any suggestions, how to handle him?

    Regards,
    Aasa
     
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  2. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Aasa,

    It is very obvious that your boss is trying to make sexual advances to you. Be very careful. Avoid any pvt meetings with your General manager. In the US, managers are trained not to do such kind of things. This is clearly unethical and unprofessional behavior. What are the sexual harassment laws and policies in your company and your country?

    If it was co worker you can tell them curtly that you do not feel comfortable about such kind of talk but since this is your General manager it is a bit tricky. If you talk to your boss curtly he may harass you and make your life miserable.

    Kavya.


     
  3. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    Clearly inappropriate behavior from your general manager.

    How are the HR policies in your company on sexual harassment? Can you talk to your HR and tell them about this? In the US, this would be the way to go...

    If that is not possible - then you could tell your direct boss and inform him that you would not like to be alone with the GM in future because of this reason.

    Finally, if it so happens that your GM does manage to corner you and talks to you about any inappropriate topics, tell him clearly that "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in such topics and you are making me very uncomfortable." Raise an eyebrow, look at him disgustedly...and try to keep the office door open...

    Last, if none of this works - then find another job. Staying in such an environment where one of the top bosses indulges in sexual harassment of women employees is not good.

    take care,
    Aarushi
     
  4. aasawaree_b

    aasawaree_b New IL'ite

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    Hi Kavya and Aarushi,

    Thanks for your replies! Unfortunately, my company is a startup and as of now there are no formal HR policies in place to handle the issue. Even I joined the company a month back. I feel very embarrassed talking about it to anyone in the company...let alone my immediate boss. However, I suggested my immediate boss --who reports to GM -- that he should also be present in the meetings. But he is very busy with his work and said that I am capable of handling the meeting alone.

    I need to gather courage to speak to my boss. I will do that. Friends, I am a married woman, and my husband is extremely possessive about me. If I tell a word of it to my husband, he'll surely make me resign. And I don't want that, as workwise it is my dream job. I'm really confused. Because even if it's a man's fault, people always think that the woman also must have encouraged him in some or the other way....and they blame only the woman. You know, it's all a male-dominated world :( We can't help it. I was feeling pretty low since last two days...so wrote it here.
    Thanks again for your support!

    Regards,
    Aasa
     
  5. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Aasa,

    If I were you, I would give a hint of it at least to my direct boss (since he seems to be a nice guy). Just tell him that the GM made some inappropriate comments and that you are not comfortable having meetings alone with him.

    Not all men will blame the woman. And believe me, if the company is a start up, they can't afford to lose a good employee. Anyways, stop feeling guilty or embarrassed about it. The GM was the one who harassed you. You are the victim here. You need not go telling the town about what happened, but I would definitely keep my direct boss a little bit in the loop since he can make sure that I do not get in the same situation again.

    take care and I hope things work out for you.

    love,
    Aarushi
     
  6. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Why dont you have meetings with your boss along with a PA or some assistant.Its clear he is trying to start something here. Unfortunately ,it happens very commonly.Its only in women's hands to put a stop to it without any harm done.
    take care.
     
  7. aasawaree_b

    aasawaree_b New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    I informed my immediate boss about GM's behavior. He said that it's absolutely inappropriate and though he can't directly blame or tell anything to the GM, he would talk to him diplomatically and also would try to be present in the meetings with me! If it's not possible for him, he would send some other colleague with me. It's really great to have such an understanding boss. And now I feel totally relaxed.

    :thankyou2:
    Love,
    Aasa
     
  8. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Aasa,

    I am so glad that your immediate boss is very understanding. Taking a colleague or your boss to the meetings is the best approach. But I would still caution you about being extremely careful with your GM. He may call you directly for 1:1s in his office. If you are getting very sick about his behavior have a voice recorder and record all the conversations. Be extremely cautious. Good luck.

    Regards
    Kavya.


     
  9. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Its such a relief. Glad to know you took action.Otherwise your work wud be effected and forget the mental stress. Somebody should take action against such harassment at work. You took the right approach.Best of luck.
     
  10. Aarushi

    Aarushi Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Aasa,

    Good job! and good luck!

    love,
    Aarushi
     

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