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Black or White

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Dinny, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. LakshmiKMBhat

    LakshmiKMBhat Gold IL'ite

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    In our country,we are obsessed with being fair, it is so irritating to watch all those fair and lovely and fair and handsome ads:))
    I would definitely be happy with my son's choice.
    Lakshmi
     
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  2. deba19

    deba19 New IL'ite

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    The fact is things are easier said than done. We all can sound idealististic and mature and come up with perfect quotes like " Looks don't matter". But in the real world we can see that in every walks of life we tend to fall for good looking people..be it in the professional life or personal life. The ones who haven't been bestowed with good looks will in some way or the other be reminded of it and made aware of it by someone or the other. Another fact is when it comes to DILs whatever they do..however they look..whether it is arranged marriage or love marriage, the in-laws will always come up with something that they are not happy with. In case of SILs things are better for them as males in our society are still the favoured ones.
    Now since we are here to post our own views about what we would do or prefer when faced with similar situations in our lives I would say people should choose partners with similar backgrounds..it makes life easier. A plain looking guy or girl should not aim for too good looking partners unless it's by destiny and God makes his/her soulmate a real beauty. Sometimes when two partners are obviously very diiferent in terms of looks..some kind of inferiority complexes or jealousy might creep into their lives. It might not always be their fault but people with big mouths might add some fuel into the fire. Also the same is true for financial positions and family backgrounds. When it's been some years into the marriage all that matters is how well the two partners can gel in and share the same interests and aims in life which becomes difficult if the start of lives have been very different. So guys if it's a plain looking kiddo i have got my vote will go for a similar looking good hearted kid he/she will choose..and if it's a goodlooking one i have got maybe my heart will aspire for a similar one whose hand my child will hold and be happy forever( i guess the definition of forever will also change in their generations) ;)
     
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  3. aaryambal

    aaryambal Junior IL'ite

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    Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. The defination and concept of beauty varies from person to person. It all depends on what you are looking for i.e. the beauty of the skin, body, soul or any other matter. Though ultimately it is the characteristics/mannerisms, behavior, attitude, understanding and acceptance that matters, initially it is the appearance that matters. Moreover, for people who are after money, rich girls seem beautiful... For people who are orthodox, traditional girls are beautiful... For hi-fi kind of people westernized girls are beautiful...and so on. It all depends on what they are looking for.
    I have always recommended good counselling for both parents and children (boys and girls) before seeking alliance so that they'll be able to assess who's choice it is going to be anyways and what each one's limitations will be. The choice of parents and children does not match in most cases so it is important to discuss and fix each one's stance to avoid future disappointments. It will be wise to decide the choice within one's own family and then step out to seek alliance accordingly. Later each one of them should stick to their words.
     
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  4. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    So true those ads create some kind of divide between the fair and the dark ones...i wonder how big stars like Shahrukh khan n priyanka chopra endorse it
     
  5. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree that daughter in laws remain daughter only 'In law'...and the point that we should marry people from similar background is sooo valid.Sometimes even marrying a gal frm a higher or lower financial status than the boy's can also be an issue
     
  6. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree that first the boy and his family must decide what kind of DIL they are looking for.i have seen a counsin brother of my husband suffer because his mom and his choice would not match.His mom wanted a girl who should be fair and belonged to a financially well settled family.Infact she had rejected the proposal from a prominent politician's family.So later he decided to tell his mother not to interfere though finally he got married to girl who was both his and his mother's choice.Thank god
     
  7. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    Rohini- just confused..... Are you saying ppl with darker skin tone should not wear "bold" colors? Why??? Here I thought ppl wore colors based on what suited their individuality and preference. Also on a "typical" Indian skin tone darker, bold" , jewel tones whatever u want to call looks best IMO.

     
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  8. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree with sdiva20. ....i hv felt tat some ppl despite their dark complexion can carry all the colors well.Its the attitude tat matters i think.If you are not comfortable in a particular dress or color of it then definitely shows on your face.
    Though rohini is right that if ppl like me who have darker complexion wear purple will look funny.Thats so because i dont like that color and it will show on my face
     
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  9. bhanumathiyv

    bhanumathiyv New IL'ite

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    this is really a nice topic.i have a son .i definitely give suggestions to my son.in my opinion both girl and boy should match in all aspects,atleast to the nearest possible point.so that both dont find it difficult to adjust.in almost all indian families both sides parents expect the children to mingle in their family.i like my d.i.l to be friendly and intelligent.
     
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  10. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi bhanumathiyv
    Thank you!!
    I too have a son and i too feel that marriage should happen between equals, the girl and boy should actually have a lot of things in common so that they dont have problems adjusting to each other...but when the complexion comes in will it effect the alliance??
     

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