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Biwiburgers?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, May 28, 2016.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello better half burgers anybody? Now don’t get the funny notions that they are burgers that your better half lovingly makes for her ravenously hungry lord and master. It is a burger with your DW in it.

    Granted many of you might already hav the suspicion that I am crazed beyond all hope and would be delighted that the preceding para confirms it bue hey hold your horses. It is not my idea at all but comes from a Saudi Arab cleric.

    This cleric with an unpronounceable middle eastern name has declared that a husband has the right to eat his wife if he is ravenously hungry. On the wife’s part that would amount to a touching (or not so touching) sacrifice for her husband.

    Now how hungry is ravenous? May be the expression that “I am so hungry I could eat a horse fits here” or may be for a Saudi “ I am so hungry that I could eat a camel” . But hey again, that expression must be passe’ in a oil stinking rich country. Camel is for the hoi polloi and the rich would probably say “ I am so hungry that I could probably eat a Rolls Royce/ a Bentley/ a Meybach/a private jet” or something like that.

    May be the camels would still be endangered because they could be targeted by the poor who couldn’t afford a lux car or a private jet. Our cleric is probably an animal rights activist who wanted to save camels from the ravenously hungry. So he decided to divert their attention to their wives.

    Now a biwiburger( that is certainly shorter and sweeter than better half burger) is a tall order that will not be served in any restaurant and is fiendishly difficult if not impossible to make.

    For no self-respecting wife will allow herself to be put between two buns. They really hate being sandwiched with mayonnaise and mustard all over them and in a not so comfortable bed with lettuce, tomatoes and onions. She will throw rolling pins at the poor famished husband and threaten to walk out on him and go over to her parents’ place and the poor chap will probably be forced to eat a veggie burger with just lettuce, tomatoes, onions and buns.

    Wait, may be our good mufti was promoting vegetarianism or even veganism in that country of carnivores, knowing fully well that wives will walk out on husbands dying to sink their teeth into them. . You see in a country of carnivores like Saudi Arabia, vegetarianism and veganism can only make a backdoor entry, may be clad in a burqa. Let us give our man the benefit of doubt, shall we?

    Whether someone puts his DW between two buns or not, I must say our cleric has opened up an exciting possibility. Of late these religious chaps have been enormously entertaining. Another cleric, from Iran this time recently said earthquakes occur because of scantily clad women. Please don’t laugh and take it seriously. When men see scantily clad women, they tremble with pleasure and the collective trembling is possibly transferred to earth causing earthquakes. This is my elaboration of his theory and I refuse to give him any credit for it.

    Lest you think that such witticisms are confined to a particular faith, think again. Our own Shankaracharya of Dwaraka recently said that if women enter Shani temples the number of rapes would go up.

    Reacting to opening of an exclusive male preserve of a Shani temple in Maharashtra for women, he said Saturn’s nasty glances at ladies would increase their chances of getting raped. Now we know who is responsible for the Nirbhaya bus rape and other crimes against women—Shani! Grab him and hang him in public please!

    Stand up comics tremble in your pants! Here come his holinesses to put you out of business.
     
    sindmani, Kamalji, kaniths and 2 others like this.
  2. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    jokers are aplenty now but woryingly not in movies - they irritate to the core, more so the religious jokers.

    just heard on radio that pakistan is seeking approval of a bill - the right of husband to beat a wife.

    insanity prevails - where in the world such ideas strike these crooks???
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    GG don't be surprised if inspired by the Saudi cleric Pak passes a law that a really famished husband has a right to eat his wife with or without her consent..
     
    GoogleGlass likes this.
  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Balajee, irrespective of whether the population of males in the world gets decimated due to hunger or not, I know one good reason why it will - at least the ones who roam the streets of the world. They need to be locked up in padded chambers and the keys thrown away and I am quite sure it will happen if they keep shooting their mouths off this way!!!

    Or maybe this is Shani's wrath on women - a Muslim cleric has declared that women are delectable enough to be eaten!
     
    sindmani likes this.
  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    They can have our so called mullahs and Sjankaracharyas for company to provide then spiritual solace. The keys should not be just thrown away but must be fed to crocodiles so that no one recovers them.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    The lock-aways or food for crocs would comprise of mullahs, certain Shankaracharyas as well as certain senile singers who choose to change their profession at a late age to advising young women on how to dress.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  7. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Let us hope the poor crocs won't die of food poisoning.
     
    satchitananda likes this.
  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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  9. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Is he a cleric or a cannibal? A crooked minded cleric who doesn't deserve to be called a cleric.
    PS
     
    sindmani likes this.
  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    He is a bigoted conservative who views women as objects or animals like sheep or cattle. In some religious denominations such an attitude is a plus point. He has simply carried it to the extreme.,
     
    kaniths likes this.

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